phaballa ([info]phaballa) wrote,
@ 2008-12-17 20:56:00
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I cannot stop laughing
I followed the link to [info]cleolinda's Twilight Recaps and I am reading the one for Breaking Dawn so that I don't have to actually read the books. And. AND. I cannot stop laughing at this:



Of course, then Jacob informs her that this is the reason he was so hung up on Bella and force-kissing her and trying to wheedle her away from Edward all this time: because somehow, the very fiber of his being knew that Bella would someday be the mother of his imprinted baby bride. Yeah.


And that pretty much explains my feelings about Twilight.

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[info]chaeche
2008-12-18 03:22 am UTC (link)
I love her recaps more than the books. I find Breaking Dawn so boring that I literally fell asleep last night while trying to read the final battle scene.

You know about Growing Up Cullen, right?

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 03:26 am UTC (link)
Um. Is that the one about how the books are really about being Mormon?

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[info]wendy
2008-12-18 03:58 am UTC (link)
http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html

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[info]chaeche
2008-12-18 04:46 am UTC (link)
It's a series of IM exchanges about Edward's family life. I think there are four and the first one is here.

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 01:35 pm UTC (link)
Heee. Nice!

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[info]deathbymutation
2008-12-18 03:57 am UTC (link)
*epic snort* I was stupid enough to read all the books just so I wouldn't be left out of the conversation with friends. totally not worth it. I WANT THOSE THREE DAYS OF MY LIFE BACK.

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 04:01 am UTC (link)
I couldn't get through the second one. But then a few months later I forced myself through with promises that the third one would be better. And OMG SNOOZERS. So fucking boring. I didn't finish that one. And I didn't want to read Breaking Dawn even though I knew about the crazy gross death baby, so you know. Recaps. WAY BETTER. And now I don't need to feel left out :P

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[info]deathbymutation
2008-12-18 04:02 am UTC (link)
I'm all for crazy mpreg butt babies when its crack but I simply cannot handle crazy stupid pervert-praying-on-baby half vamp/half human freak child. Wow that was long.

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[info]thearchpoet
2008-12-18 04:47 am UTC (link)
How did you even get through the first one.

I keep shutting the damn thing in horror going 'I can't believe they killed good trees for that'.

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 01:36 pm UTC (link)
Oh well, I didn't PAY for them. I downloaded e-books :P

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[info]greensounds
2008-12-21 05:17 pm UTC (link)
\o/

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[info]greenie_breizh
2008-12-18 06:35 am UTC (link)
OMG aren't those recaps the BEST THING EVER? XD

Edited at 2008-12-18 06:36 am UTC

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 01:36 pm UTC (link)
Pretty much YES. And now I don't have to read book 4! *beams*

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[info]crazylilly
2008-12-18 07:42 am UTC (link)
I just read the first recap. Interesting. And she might be right about teenage girls and boys. And it might be why I have my problems with the books. I'm to old for them ;).

I started to read the books last week. Right now I'm fighting with the third. I just started to read because I wanted to know what all the fuss is about. And yeah well - there are tons of fanfiction written better than that. :(

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 01:40 pm UTC (link)
There's a lot of EVERYTHING better written. Including the recaps. Ha.

I never finished the third. I just can't subject myself to it. Never has there been a series of books about vampires that is so *incredibly* boring, and that includes The Vampire Lestat and its million pages of history lessons about the French Quarter. Oy.

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[info]pensnest
2008-12-18 10:14 am UTC (link)
Dear Gawd. I couldn't even manage to read all of the recap, much as I approve of [info]cleolinda. Skipped several paragraphs for the sake of my sanity. Terrifying stuff!

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 01:41 pm UTC (link)
The recap for the fourth book is particularly horrifying, and she says in one part, "If you are pregnant, SKIP THIS PART." There's seriously no way they can make a movie about that.

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[info]rikes
2008-12-18 11:59 am UTC (link)
I read the one with the pictures, Ginger spice and Bjork etc., and I think I know quite enough now. :D

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 01:43 pm UTC (link)
Ahaha. Pretty much, YES. That is allll you need to suffer through.

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[info]brighton_girl
2008-12-18 02:46 pm UTC (link)
LOL. SMeyers fancies herself the next JK Rowling...and she's wrong. All indiginant about something she was working on getting leaked on the interwebs, when she, herself gave out the manuscript. What-the-hell-ever. That said. I like Edward and Bella...and wish their story was told in more able hands.

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 02:51 pm UTC (link)
I wish Bella weren't such a helpless damsel in distress all the time. And had like... some sort of ambition that didn't involve staying young forever and fucking her sparkly vampire and having his scary kid. And I wish Edward weren't so lame, and there was less blah blah blah about his beautiful marble bits and pieces.

The writing is just so bad :/ I'm sure in more capable hands, it could be a good story!

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[info]brighton_girl
2008-12-18 07:45 pm UTC (link)
You know honestly, I'm sitting here watching the movie on my lunch break, and the actors give so much depth to the characters that was never even written. SMeyers owes them. Yes, some of it's cheesy (hello sparkle chest!), but the reduction of some of the shitty written words of SMeyers and a more realistic idea of the story (Bella doesn't slave away feeding her father, she has a cell and reliable internet connection, etc). Admittedly the CGI budget was small (so of the effects are just um, lame). Still the lead actors are good, have chemistry and make it work (even with the lame).

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[info]phaballa
2008-12-18 07:51 pm UTC (link)
I haven't seen the movie yet. (I'm very poor! But I want to see it...) I've been told that it's so much better than the books. And I can't see how it could be WORSE than the books, so it'd probably be worth seeing :P

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