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no hateration in this dancery
goats are our friends, we should eat them
Created on 2004-08-12 07:22:17 (#4159138), last updated 2009-07-09
52,677 comments received, 44,272 comments posted
Paid Account [Gift]
2,152 Journal Entries, 78 Tags, 209 Memories, 10+ ScrapBook Files, 14 Virtual Gifts, 51 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | phaballa |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1980-05-05 |
| Location: | Austin, Texas, United States |
| Website: | Pop Sound Board |
BioA Brief Bio:
Our young heroine began life as a troublesome fetus, staunchly refusing to exit the womb, most likely due to premature exposure to marijuana and who knows what other illegal substances her hippy parents exposed her to. Aside from opium, I mean, because we've all known about that for years.
Her parents being the Regan-hating flower children they were, she grew up believing that the 1980s were a sad time to be alive, with that "senile b-movie actor republican jackass" in the White House. To avoid her parents' rants about the arms race, as well as out of fear of being labeled "commie" by the other kids, she spent most of her formative years cutting worms into as many pieces as possible without them dying (a worm can be cut into 8 pieces and still live, if done correctly, she discovered after years of experimentation). She also told kids at school the story her sister had once told her to scare her: that she'd been abandoned by gypsies, and her parents were really murderous, fiddle playing thieves. (Disclaimer: the author does not really believe all gypsies are musically inclined.)
She could not fully escape her parents' hippy ways, however, and eventually grew up to be a red commie bastard just like them. Her Jr. High and high school years were littered with comments from other students such as, "Nerd" and "Geek," but also the more creative, "You're so flat, if you wore a dress with 6 pockets, you could be a pool table!" and, "Who died?" (during her ill-advised but necessary for coming of age in the early 90s goth phase).
Luckily for her sanity and self esteem, our heroine had a group of loyal and highly incestuous friends. At a trying time in her life, when her first boyfriend dumped her for her best friend who, it turned out, was more interested in the chicken's conspiracy to take over the world than she was in dating, she was able to turn to his best friend for comfort. Having gotten bored with dating each other, she and her friends parted ways, each heading to different parts of the great state of Ohio for college.
Our heroine, desperate to escape "the heart of all," headed off to "the land of Lincoln" on her quest for knowledge, where she discovered that Illinois's state motto is historically inaccurate, Lincoln having actually been from Kentucky; he only practiced law in Illinois. She finally found her niche at the University of Chicago, a geek infested school that prided itself on its lack of both partying and a football team.
She spent four years in Chicago, cursed with a plague of terrible roommates, including one named after a water filter. Much like the Egyptians suffering the biblical plague of locusts, she was forced to endure such hardships as the dreaded Chore Wheel, U2's Joshua Tree on repeat for three solid months, and being sexiled by her (supposedly) Pentacostel roommate.
After four years of intense study, our heroine finally graduated with a degree in English and, upon realizing that one can't actually do anything in the real world with an English degree, decided to put off making any decisions about her life by joining AmeriCorps NCCC. What is AmeriCorps NCCC, you ask? That's a question for the capper, but since she is not available, I as faithful narrator, will field it. Ahem. AmeriCorps is a national service organization much like a domestic Peace Corps. NCCC (National Civilian Community Corps) was started 9 years ago. There are 5 campuses, each responsible for a different region of the country. NCCC members work on teams, traveling the country doing community service projects in the areas of public safety, disaster relief, environment, education, and unmet human needs (i.e. anything that doesn't fall into the other categories).
The long and short of it is, she spent 10 months being a slave to the US government, although she cannot claim to be a volunteer, due to the $12 a day she made while strengthening communities and bringing people together. After which, our heroine returned to Chicago the prodigal, uh, loser to begin her masters in Social Work. A year of helping homeless people taught her that, while many are just decent people fallen on hard times, there is definite cause behind those rumors about crack addiction and alcoholism. Our heroine spent many a day burning scented candles in her cubicle in a fruitless attempt to overpower the stench of her latest client.
Although she looks small and innocent, do not be decieved by our heroine's appearance--it is misleading, oh readers. Very misleading indeed. She is obsessive compulsive, socially phobic, and has taken too many psych classes for her own good. And she is far from innocent. Much like the gazelle, our heroine is known for deception. She appears to be no older than sixteen years, and has reeled in many a Hillary Duff-lover with her youthful appearance. Also like the gazelle, at twenty-four she is nearing her quarter life crisis and should not, therefore, be fucked with in any way.
A gazelle in crisis isn't pretty, dear reader. Take it from me, your faithful narrator.
Friending Policy
I only friend people whose journals I want to read. If you friend me, that's fabulous, but be aware that I may not friend you back if you're not interested in the same things that I am. If our interests end up diverging, I may defriend you. If you're upset that I defriended you, please feel free to email me or comment to one of my posts to find out why.
layout by![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
thefulcrum!
Our young heroine began life as a troublesome fetus, staunchly refusing to exit the womb, most likely due to premature exposure to marijuana and who knows what other illegal substances her hippy parents exposed her to. Aside from opium, I mean, because we've all known about that for years.
Her parents being the Regan-hating flower children they were, she grew up believing that the 1980s were a sad time to be alive, with that "senile b-movie actor republican jackass" in the White House. To avoid her parents' rants about the arms race, as well as out of fear of being labeled "commie" by the other kids, she spent most of her formative years cutting worms into as many pieces as possible without them dying (a worm can be cut into 8 pieces and still live, if done correctly, she discovered after years of experimentation). She also told kids at school the story her sister had once told her to scare her: that she'd been abandoned by gypsies, and her parents were really murderous, fiddle playing thieves. (Disclaimer: the author does not really believe all gypsies are musically inclined.)
She could not fully escape her parents' hippy ways, however, and eventually grew up to be a red commie bastard just like them. Her Jr. High and high school years were littered with comments from other students such as, "Nerd" and "Geek," but also the more creative, "You're so flat, if you wore a dress with 6 pockets, you could be a pool table!" and, "Who died?" (during her ill-advised but necessary for coming of age in the early 90s goth phase).
Luckily for her sanity and self esteem, our heroine had a group of loyal and highly incestuous friends. At a trying time in her life, when her first boyfriend dumped her for her best friend who, it turned out, was more interested in the chicken's conspiracy to take over the world than she was in dating, she was able to turn to his best friend for comfort. Having gotten bored with dating each other, she and her friends parted ways, each heading to different parts of the great state of Ohio for college.
Our heroine, desperate to escape "the heart of all," headed off to "the land of Lincoln" on her quest for knowledge, where she discovered that Illinois's state motto is historically inaccurate, Lincoln having actually been from Kentucky; he only practiced law in Illinois. She finally found her niche at the University of Chicago, a geek infested school that prided itself on its lack of both partying and a football team.
She spent four years in Chicago, cursed with a plague of terrible roommates, including one named after a water filter. Much like the Egyptians suffering the biblical plague of locusts, she was forced to endure such hardships as the dreaded Chore Wheel, U2's Joshua Tree on repeat for three solid months, and being sexiled by her (supposedly) Pentacostel roommate.
After four years of intense study, our heroine finally graduated with a degree in English and, upon realizing that one can't actually do anything in the real world with an English degree, decided to put off making any decisions about her life by joining AmeriCorps NCCC. What is AmeriCorps NCCC, you ask? That's a question for the capper, but since she is not available, I as faithful narrator, will field it. Ahem. AmeriCorps is a national service organization much like a domestic Peace Corps. NCCC (National Civilian Community Corps) was started 9 years ago. There are 5 campuses, each responsible for a different region of the country. NCCC members work on teams, traveling the country doing community service projects in the areas of public safety, disaster relief, environment, education, and unmet human needs (i.e. anything that doesn't fall into the other categories).
The long and short of it is, she spent 10 months being a slave to the US government, although she cannot claim to be a volunteer, due to the $12 a day she made while strengthening communities and bringing people together. After which, our heroine returned to Chicago the prodigal, uh, loser to begin her masters in Social Work. A year of helping homeless people taught her that, while many are just decent people fallen on hard times, there is definite cause behind those rumors about crack addiction and alcoholism. Our heroine spent many a day burning scented candles in her cubicle in a fruitless attempt to overpower the stench of her latest client.
Although she looks small and innocent, do not be decieved by our heroine's appearance--it is misleading, oh readers. Very misleading indeed. She is obsessive compulsive, socially phobic, and has taken too many psych classes for her own good. And she is far from innocent. Much like the gazelle, our heroine is known for deception. She appears to be no older than sixteen years, and has reeled in many a Hillary Duff-lover with her youthful appearance. Also like the gazelle, at twenty-four she is nearing her quarter life crisis and should not, therefore, be fucked with in any way.
A gazelle in crisis isn't pretty, dear reader. Take it from me, your faithful narrator.
Friending Policy
I only friend people whose journals I want to read. If you friend me, that's fabulous, but be aware that I may not friend you back if you're not interested in the same things that I am. If our interests end up diverging, I may defriend you. If you're upset that I defriended you, please feel free to email me or comment to one of my posts to find out why.
layout by
thefulcrum! ConnectInterests (48):
americorps, angel, ani difranco, ariel shrag, bill clinton, buffy, carol gilligan, charlie kaufman, cheese, coffee, crossovers, dana crowley jack, dancing, degrassi, draco malfoy, elizabeth gaskell, ewan mcgregor, fanfic, feminism, fic recommendations, gender studies, ginny weasley, harry and the potters, harry potter, hayden christiansen, hex, jane austen, jessica benjamin, kathy acker, magnetic fields, marx, michael moore, mockumentaries, my so-called life, obama, queer studies, quidditch, rock n' roll, slash, stephen king, the bonds of love, the dark tower, type o negative, veronica mars, virginia woolf, wicked, willow, writing
External Services:
 | phaballa@livejournal.com |
Schools:
University of Chicago - Chicago, IL (1998 - 2002)
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