Since you all seem so down about the wank and all, and because micawbish was sad that the wank wasn't even over horse-fucking and also, that this would mean a lack of PORN... I wrote some.

Consider this part of Project Mayhem. A missing (porn) scene.

Jared/Jensen: Popsluts on the Bus.

( Dude, this isn't funny, Jen. You gotta. Seriously, you gotta stop now. I'm like, so straight, okay? Or I would be if you'd let me just, you know, if you'd stop trying to suck my dick. )

Dirty Pop: The Worst Case Scenario Guide to Surviving A Boy Band
by phaballa

Fandom: CWRPS AU / popslash, um, sort of
Pairings: Jensen/Jared, Jensen/Chris, Jared/Chad
Rating: Adult
Warnings: This fic is on total crack. Like not just a little. Boy band AU. Gender swap. Sex, drugs, and really bad pop music.
Liner Notes: Written for the Cliché/Kink challenge. Thanks to mel_b_angel for looking this over, to danxsunday for encouraging me despite his hatred of pop music, and to everyone who uploaded pictures and recs for me, but especially to madame_d for being the best enabler the world has ever seen. Thanks to God for the existence of existence, and to all the fabulously cracked out popslashers out there, without whom this wouldn't have been possible.

Introduction:
In the beginning, there was light. And after light, God created all the other shit, like the oceans and the animals and darkness and the moon and even Jupiter, but it wasn't until He sparked Maurice Starr with the idea for New Edition in 1980 that the world truly became complete. And thus, the first boy band of the modern age was born, eventually spawning white-washed versions like New Kids on the Block, which then inspired mega-groups like the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. The story of the boy band itself is much more complicated, but it all sort of boils down to one thing: boys who are pretty and willing to dance around in tight pants and mesh (or sometimes no) shirts sell lots of records, not to mention t-shirts, action figures, lip glosses, and bobble heads. Amen.

Cast:
Project Mayhem: Jensen, Jared, Chad, Tommy, and Mike as an up-and-coming (but mostly just coming) boy band with two hit singles, 'God Must've Sent You (To Be My Girlfriend)' and 'I Want An Unspecified Something in a Very Specific Manner.'
Jeff: their skeezy manager.
Sandy: their hardass publicist.
KANE: Rival alternative rock band that slams the Project in interviews and several songs about how Chad is a pedophile. Consisting of Christian Kane and Steve Carlson, they have several hit songs including 'America High (Chronic Remix)' and 'One More Cap in Yo' Ass.'

The Boring Bits:
None of this is true. Like, by any stretch of the imagination. I made it all up. Written for estrella30's All CW Cliché/Kink Challenge, with the prompts: woke up a woman and truth or dare. But also, in case you hadn't already caught on because you're like, retarded or completely skipping all this intro stuff, this is an AU, in which the boys of the CW are in a boy band. A really pretty boy band. But mostly they're still them, or my version of them anyway. So. Enjoy!

( The first rule of being in a boy band is: you do not talk about being in a boy band. )

So I'm almost done with the Bayband AU, and I swear I will stop talking about it once I post it. TOMORROW!! I hope. I just have one scene left to write, but I really need some input on how things should go down. So help me out here, y'all. Click the poll. You know you want to.

Poll #776392 Bored Now
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 20

Say Christian Kane lived in an alternate universe where he was not in a country band. What kind of band would KANE be?

Now let's pretend that Jensen, Jared, Chad, Tommy, and Mikey are in a boyband. What's the name of their number one hit song?

What about KANE?

Now, say that AU KANE and Jen's boyband are rivals, and they are being forced to perform together at some awards show to prove that they are really OK guys or whatever. What do they sing?

How much do you love me?

And for suffering through that, here, have an icon:



ETA: And here are some examples of what I'm talking about re: songs:

[Bitches Ain't Shit - Ben Folds] // A hard rap song turned um, something. Not exactly pop, but wonderful.

[Toxic - Local H] // Hard core version of Britney's 'Toxic.' Best EVER.