So normally I would offer up drabbles or something for TrickC day, but I've been sick all week and what with finishing up big bang, my brain is done writing for a bit until I need to do the final edits on the BB. So instead I will celebrate with The Legendary Grapefruit Gurus of Southern California and concentrate on healing before tonight's party.

I wish I would get paid. I need that money in my account so I can go buy orange juice or SOMETHING. My throat is all scratchy and clogged and I just need to paid, arg. I hate being sick :( And poor :(

And wow, I am tired. I want to go to sleep and not wake up for ten years. But instead I will be at work and attempt to keep myself entertained with TrickC. YAY.

I got this in my email this morning:

Chris Birthday


It was posted at Nigels 11's MySpace, and it makes me wonder who runs that page and how much they want to embarrass Chris. *hearts* Anyway, since it's the Fuman's birthday, you all know what that means! I will write drabbles. Give me a Chris-centric pairing and/or prompt and I will attempt something. Even though I suck at Chris.

TODAY CHRIS IS OLD! And still playing with Justin. *more hearts*

So when I said that I sort of hope Chris is actually dating Mikala Gordan and it's not just an editing contrivance, I never expected it to have any truth!:



I'm still not convinced that they're dating, and I am probably the only one who thinks that they're adorable and just annoying enough in their own rights to be perfect for each other, but still. YAY RUMORS. I like rumors. Ironic, because when I watched her season of Idol with lecksee and stellaface, we HATED Mikala. And now I kind of love her. I don't know what that says about me. Clearly, my taste has gone downhill.

(Also, the stuff about JC at the bottom of the ONTD post is hilarious. Chasez, even ONTD misses you!!)

The Clintonian Defense

Fandom: Popslash
Pairing: Chris/Lance
Rating: Adultish
Comments: Written for TrickyFish Day, even though it is late late late! rikes suggested I write about mechanical bulls. Um, sort of? turps33 wanted dueling eyebrows, and, well. There's no overt mention of it, but you KNOW it's happening because it's Chris and Lance, and that's just how they roll. All of which is to say, I ignored your prompts and wrote whatever the fuck came out, because yes.

( As far as Chris can tell, Lance is definitely, one hundred percent gay. And not just because of his hair or his clothes or his ability to impersonate Ellen Degeneres, but for other, non-stereotypical reasons, too. Like the part where he fucks guys. )

Hello flist! I have been informed that it is TrickyFish Day! And although I have a guest for the weekend, if you give me some sort of awesome TrickyFish prompt, I will write you a little something. Or a big something, if you really inspire me!

Happy Halloween, everyone! I don't have any pictures (that I'm willing to show you) of myself as Britney yet, but we can celebrate in another way, because it is also TrickC Day!!! Possibly one of the best holidays of the year!

I could write some little TrickC drabbles, maybe? Give me a prompt and I will see what I can do with it. And later I will probably post a TrickC mix, because HELLO, I am lame and like to post mixes.

I would also (randomly) like to note that the songs on Unbreakable that I like the best are the ones the boys and/or JC wrote. And the hand claps. Because you can never have enough hand claps, damnit.

Staying home from work yesterday sucked because my entire face hurt and I still feel like I have a giant phlegmy hairball that needs coughing up, but it did allow me to watch Justin on Oprah and I have a few thoughts.

Now, we all know that Oprah has not, historically, been a Justin fan. The Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction incident did not put Justin in her good graces. But since it's Justin, he of course charmed the pants off her within the first thirty seconds of the show. And it didn't hurt that he brought his mama, because Oprah eats that shit up.

I wonder if he told Oprah very earnestly about his tattoo tribute and how much it means to him. Gross.

Anyway, Justin is very charming in interviews, and very sincere. He has this public persona he puts on for interviews like this (it's the same in the Barbara Walters interview) in which he's all, "I'm just a down home country boy, I'm so humble, I grew up in a small town in Tennessee, blah blah."

Okay lookit here, fucker. We all know you grew up in Orlando and you haven't lived in Tennessee since you were like, 10. Stop going all story writer on us. You're wildly famous! Give up the ghost and admit that you're not the country bumpkin you want everyone to believe. We will still love you! Ahem, moving on.

( So then he talks about Britney. )

*

( Now, let's talk about Man Band. )

But I still want an Nsync reunion. And I want the fic where Lance refuses to sing 'Girlfriend.' AND I started the 7-11 AU. I only have a page and I'm already in love with it and this is going to be my best JC YET!!

So now that this wackiness is ensuing, the question is: should I, or shouldn't I?

If I can be assured of getting a voicemail instead of an actual person, I will totally do it. So what I need is for someone to call Chris first and make sure it goes to voicemail so I don't seem like I retard if I call and he answers and then I squeak and hang up. I have a phone phobia. It's a whole big thing.

Question #2 is: if I get his voicemail, what do I SAY? Somehow, I don't think me saying, "Team Fab Chris!" will make sense. Also, I have no questions for them. I mean, sure, I'd like to know what Chris thinks of the situation in Darfur, or possibly whether he prefers Clinton or Obama, but somehow I don't think he's prepared to answer things like that, nor am I prepared to hear the answers.

...to call, or not to call? It's FAB CHRIS, you guys!! I don't know what to do!

I just want to say, for the record, that I am not into bandslash and I probably never will be. I tried, you guys, because all my favorite popslash writers have deserted the sparkly boys for the emos and I really wanted to like them, I did. I thought, "I like boys who look like girls, this should be no problem," except that, well. I think Timberlake and Chasez have ruined me for emo boys. Also, it's really sad when you're so emo you look feminine in comparison to CHASEZ. Nothing wrong with that, of course, I just... am apparently not into it. Maybe if they looked more like Michael Pitt in Hedwig.

Or maybe it's because they are so young and I was 17 ten years ago and I've already wasted years and years of my life on emo teenaged boys who cry and read Kurt Vonnegut and spend all their time working crap jobs because their fathers are alcoholics and their mothers' boyfriends are abusive, blah blah. Like, I get that, and it's horrible, but I don't really want to reread my high school years in fic via the point of view of boys who think they're fifty times smarter than they really are. Ahem. Anyway.

So yes, that is why I will probably never be able to embrace bandslash. That said, go read Give Me More by wearemany. This fic is pretty much every boy I knew in high school. It's a lot of things I went through myself in high school, just trying to figure shit out re: my politics and sexuality and who I wanted to be. It's not the kind of fic I could read a lot of or all the time, because I need to read cheerful, funny things (which is why I like popslash) and these boys, like any high school boys, take themselves very, very seriously, but it's a satisfying read, well-written and realistic with good characters who aren't perfect, but are intriguing and empathetic.

( In other news, I finally got to watch Manband last night. )

1) According to MTV, who likes to send me random news updates that are usually about, you know, 50 Cent wanting to debate Kanye West or whatever but today happened to be about something actually interesting, JC's album might be coming out this fall, after all.

While we don't have any confirmed dates or titles yet — except for the Hives' Black and White Album — the end of the year could also bring long-awaited albums from the likes of Courtney Love, Radiohead, Duran Duran and JC Chasez, as well as new ones from Angels and Airwaves, the Mars Volta, Murphy Lee, Kem and Beanie Sigel. There might also be a Cash Money compilation, a Q-Tip live album, the latest LL Cool J joint and a fresh Missy Elliott effort. And, don't hold your breath, but the long-gestating efforts from Britney Spears and Michael Jackson might even leave dry dock, though we wouldn't put any cash on it.

So, at least JC has a better chance than Britney or MJ. Except this is according to MTV, and they suck. Their idea of news is "OMG who will Justin walk the red carpet with??!!" so I have issues trusting them. Still, at least it's not an announcement of no album, ever. I'm willing to be optimistic at the moment.

2) Seriously, do I NEED my lady bits? Because they hurt. And I don't ever want to use them for reproduction, so... can I just get rid of them? As an aside, randomly... recently one of my friends has gotten pregnant after years and years or trying, and it's made me really stop and reconsider the whole baby thing. I still don't want to have children, but it makes me feel like I'm wasting my healthy lady bits while other people struggle so much. If I were smarter and prettier, I might donate eggs.

On the other hand, I still feel like people should adopt rather than have their own babies because there are already so many people in the world. Except for my friends, because they have fabulous genes that need to be passed on to the next generation. It's important to the survival of the human race, I'm pretty sure.

3) I still haven't watched the LGBT Presidential debate thing from last week, but I'll be watching it tonight and taking notes for my next slashcast segment.

4) MANMAND TONIGHT!!! FAB CHRIS TONIGHT!!!!

ETA: 5) Karl Rove, Evil Genius, is RETIRING OMG YAY!

"I'm sorry, but Chris sounds fab. I'm on fab Chris's side. He sounds like just what you need, someone who's got at least half a brain."

Oh, OC from the Bitchy Barista AU, you are SO RIGHT.

So last night after hours and hours of vacuuming every vacuumable surface in my house, including my matress (twice) and almost breaking jacksonite's vacuum by accidentally vacuuming up a scarf (thank god I fixed it!), I watched the interviews with Chris Kirkpatrick, hereafter known only as Fab Chris.

Dear god, you guys, Chris looks fucking HOT. He went from... to be charitable because I am nice that way... very Puffy and Sad in February when they were filming to, well. Maybe even HOTTER than he ever was in Nsync yesterday. He looks like he lost a gillion pounds and his hair looks SO GREAT and ungh, omg, Fab Chris.

Dear Fab Chris-

If I didn't already want to have your babies because of your awesome house and your superior genetic awesomeness, now I would totally do you for free because you are SMOKING. And fab, clearly.
love,
Me

PS- Please to be continuing making jokes about being gay with Jeff Timmons at all costs. It's not as funny as when you say you and Lance are dating, or you've gotten JC pregnant, but it's still pretty great, if only for the look on Jeff's face.

PPS- Please to be continuing saying nice things about JC. You are a good friend, Fab Chris. Seriously, I would actually have your babies.

Like anasuede, I'd really rather NOT leave LJ, even if Six Apart are total douchebags. But I'm worried that I won't be given a choice and that my account will end up getting suspended. I've archived a lot of it, but I actually have no idea what that DOES. I mean, sure, it's around on my hard drive so I could look through old entries, but I didn't write all those anti-Bush diatribes for ME to read again. Anyway.

My questions are:

1) How likely am I to get suspended for underaged Harry Potter porn written 2+ years ago? And will Six Apart recognize satire when they see it? Or will they just think, "Another HP slavefic, SIGH, DELETE."
2) How likely am I to get suspended for RPS? I know it's not illegal, but 6/A doesn't seem to care what the actual laws state.
3) Is it worth it to move all my fic over to my Greatest Journal?
4) Or would it be easier/better to delete or lock all questionable fic?

And now, I need more coffee. Also, has everyone heard the Manband/Chris is awesome interview from the Wendy Williams show yesterday? Because it is fabulous! Chris really likes to mention JC as much as possible. He also said, "And JC's album is coming out really soon, and then he'll be super busy, so." *draws hearts* Chris is such a good friend, even if he is a liar.

Several things! Hence, a list!

1) According to Idolator, the Billboard Hot 100is going to start including internet radio streams in their charting. This means that the AOL and Yahoo radio streams will start being counted towards the Hot 100. So if anyone is still listening to 'You Ruined Me' on AOL, now there's an actual reason to do so.

2) I watched Mission: Manband on VH1's website last night, and ( I LOVE CHRIS, omg. Spoilers. )

3) ( The answers to today's What Would Britney Do poll. )