Dear Riesling,

I love you. You are delicious. Hearts and candy-

Andrea

PS - Please get Kradam to make out and for someone who KNOWS THINGS to tell us all about it. And for someone to write the pickle jar story. Or something awesome. Some great fic. It needs to happen.

PPS - Please help Drake to dress better.

PPPS - or for Bradam to reoccur because that would make my LIFE.

YES IAM DRUNK. This reminds me of when I still had good pain meds and wrote all that J2 porn. If I wasn't just stealing internet while Scott walks his dog, I would totally write some porn right now. Okay let's try to get some in while he's gone.

See, there's this really hot guy, and he's called Adam. And he dates and stuff, but like, no one can really compare to his BFF Kris, who is straight and married blah blah blah. BUT THEN it turns out that maybe Kris is not as straight as Adam supposes, his toeses are roses.

"This one time, at band camp, I totally let some guy finger me," explains Kris.

"Well, we can totally pretend to be at band camp if that'll help," Adam says. He thinks for a moment. "As long as I get to play something cool, like the saxaphone."

And then there is lots of fingering, and Adam is pleasantly surprised by how easily he can shove things up Kris's ass, because secretly Kris is a big bottom and once he even tried to convince Katy that she secretly wanted to use the strap-on on him, only it didn't work out so well because, you know, he was a pussy about it and tried to make it seem like it was her idea.

"You have to own it," Adam explains, giving Kris another finger. Four. It's a lot of fingers. It's almost his whole hand. In fact, he might as well go for fisting at this point, just to see what Kris would do, but he also kind of wants to get his dick in there and see what it feels like from the inside. Adam is a big Trent Reznor fan, and he knows Trent would approve.

The end.

So here's the thing, is that in case you didn't listen to my phone post, I am DRUUUUUUUNK. So drunk. And then I was talking to Ashley and I wrote this.

The One Where Jared Is Drunk and Philosophizes Re: His Dick and the Betrayal Thereof

CWRPS
Jensen/Jared
I AM SO DRUNK, that is all I got.

( And there's the part that when she's giving him said fantastic blowjobs, he's thinking about Jensen the entire time. Because, well. First off, he's totally gay. Like, not just a little gay. Not just sort of gay. But totally gay. But fuck, a blowjob is a blowjob, and really? Any mouth on his dick is gonna feel good, and screw anyone who tries to tell him different. )

Okay. So. So. Am DRUNK. DRUNK, Y'ALL. On a friggin' Tuesday night. Went to the Buffy the Musical sing along. emmagrant01 met me there and we shared a bucket of beer/cider and now I am DRUNK.

WHERE IS THE CHRIS/ACE PORN, Y'ALL?? AND WHERE IS THE JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN????

For serious. I just saw the end of Grey's Anatomy. danxsunday and anyone else who is in love with JDM (I know you are, people, just look at those DIMPLES and that badassery), you need to watch Grey's like right now. RIGHT NOW, DAMNIT. I need to talk about this with someone.

NOW.

I miss Buffy. We got to watch the unaired pilot AND The Wish AND Once More With Feeling. I want to watch Wrecked. Or possibly all of season six because Spile? Is a HOTASS. That's right, lecksee, he's a hotass.

P.S.- Chris/Ace FOREVER. Go read babyofthegroup's fic, if you are his friend, because it is awesome and Chris/Ace OTP. Forget about Jacob and Joe, it's all about Chris/Ace, plus no one I know in real life is allowed to be part of an OTP that's just too weird.