Yesterday Upon the Stair

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing(s): Adam/Brad
Rating: Adult
Warning(s): drug use

Comments: Written for queenbitchfest based on the David Bowie song, "Man Who Sold the World." The title comes from the poem "Antigonish" by William Hughes, which is thought to be the inspiration for the song. Many thanks to the amazing and brilliant yeats, who not only ran the challenge, but also provided me with a fuckton of canon info when I didn't have time to properly stalk. Thanks also to mistresscurvy, emylina, and wutendeskind, who provided me with much-needed encouragement when I was in sheer crisis mode. And finally, thanks to all the pot I smoked, without which this fic would neither be possible nor have an ending. I still can't believe the ending makes sense, but I'm grateful it does.

Summary: This story will be about a man who figures out that he's much happier without the complications of falling in love, because he himself is so awesome that he doesn't need anyone else to make him feel like a worthwhile human being. Also, because it's a fuck of a lot less painful, but Brad doesn't feel like discussing that portion of tonight's program. Not that he's projecting or anything. It's all fiction in the end.

( Yesterday upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there. )

Fairy Tale

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: Adult

Warnings: THIS IS CRACKFIC. Like, if you ever doubted what constitutes crackfic, THIS IS IT. Also, MRPEG. But this isn't your grandpa's MPREG. This is a very ~special kind of MPREG that must be read to never be believed. It is honestly the weirdest, most insane, and possibly most hilarious thing I have ever written, and YES, that is saying something after The One Where They Are Animals In A Zoo.

Comments: Firstly, a thousand million thanks to the fantastically talented merihn, who made me the delightful banner. Seriously, it is the most awesome art I have ever gotten because it is so completely perfect for this story and, I think, totally embodies the spirit of the fic. Secondly, thanks to madame_d and miss_begonia for attempting to come up with some sort of constructive criticism on this (but I do think the ending is better now!). And lastly, thanks to everyone at Twitter for chiming in with their opinions on crack being WACK. Written for aificathon with the prompt: "a non-AU Kradam crack!fic. Kris gets pregnant with Adam's baby. After that, go crazy with it." AND I DID.

Kris, it turns out, is kind of a slut. Not in practice, because the whole accidental not-sponge-worthy gay sex really was the first and only time Kris cheated, but in spirit, Kris is a total tramp. Most people would call him a flirt and say he doesn't mean any of it, he's just teasing, but Kris knows that in his heart where he can't ever lie because that's where Jesus lives--he means every word, and if he hadn't promised Katy to be faithful in front of his parents and God and everyone, it's seriously likely that he would be a lot sluttier in practice. Because Jesus maybe lives in his heart, and that helps with resisting the impulses to get jiggy with it, but Kris is pretty sure that Lucifer or, at the very least, one of his higher-up lieutenants, has taken up residence in his dick. Jesus is a busy dude, he can't always be hanging out in Kris's heart, helping him fight temptation, but Satan has like a gillion minions and can totally afford to dedicate one solely to Kris's dick, especially when Kris is in this vulnerable position of constant blue balls. It's not Kris's fault he's a harlot. The devil made him do it. QED.

( Kris does not actually have a uterus, no matter how often Matt implied so during the tour. )

*

Continue reading if you dare: Part 2, Electric Boogaloo

this is a sacred, ass-free zone
a series of unrelated drabbles that i was surprisingly sober while writing

Notes: I took drabble requests a few days ago. I've written about half of them; basically, the ones I had immediate ideas for. I will continue to work on the others, but I really need to start my fic for aificathon, so it might be a while before the rest of the requests get filled. For now, enjoy... this. In which there is MPREG, drag, tentacles, feathers, and the word 'fingering' way more times than I have ever written it previously (sober).

for wendy: "How about an outtake from your awesome Lance/Justin MPREG?"

( There's just no way he could be pregnant, even if it was like, medically possible or whatever. His voice is way too low for him to ever get knocked up. )

*

for mistresscurvy: "Drabble prompt: Adam/Kris, the outfit Adam is rocking above."

( Adam never watches him sleep and has yet to impregnate him with a half-vampire psychic super fetus capable of communicating from the womb, but still. )

*

for wutendeskind: "Adam/Kris - WATCHING PROJECT RUNWAY"

( You probably don't even know who Tim Gunn is. That's like, the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard. )

*

for cabayuki: "pickle, Adam/Kris or Adam/Cassidy; I'll let you decide ;)"

( Pirates get scurvy, right? Pirates are sexy. Therefore, pickles are the perfect food. )

*

for sylum_tru: "AJ/Nick: not necessarily pairing, but I want them to please be mocking JC and his failcatness (and possibly having heard The Cab sing and wonder how the lead singer sounds SO MUCH like JC) like seriously"

( BJ could probably produce a better song than the demo AJ just played them, and she can't boil water without lighting her hair on fire, so that's saying something. )

*

for moonmelody: "Adam/Brad, feather"

( He knows exactly what he wants and how to get it, and right now he wants to dress Adam up like the burliest anime school girl ever and film himself fucking Adam with a novelty tentacle-shaped strap-on, wearing nothing but Adam's black feather ruff and a Britney Pink wig. )

*

for buildyourwalls: "Give me a Brad/Adam when Brad realized he was madly in love with Adam."

( Brad Bell, Virgin Drama Geek, ceases to exist in the real world and can only be found on page one-ninety-eight of the 2004 Lake Highlands High yearbook. )

Little Lies

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: some Adam/Kris-ish stuff, but mostly just David Cook
Rating: Adult

Comments: Written on request for musicboxgirl's birthday! She wanted kradookam, but what she's getting is 4000 words about David Cook. Yeah, I don't know! This is my first (and possibly only) attempt at Cook. I've never read Cook fic even, so if I am doing it wrong, I seriously apologize times a million. I love Cook a lot, and he got me a little carried away. And I know, everyone is probably calling their fic 'Little Lies' now, but whatever, it fits too perfectly to not.

Summary: David isn't a lover or a hater, he's more of an abstainer, withholding of all opinions as beneath his notice, which is why it comes as a surprise to him when he realizes that he very strongly dislikes Adam Lambert. He maybe even hates the guy. He looks at Lambert in his stupid eyeliner and even stupider outfits, watches him on TV every week and thinks, that guy is such a fucking douche.

( It feels like he's getting away with something. )

The Rescue Blues

Fandom: AI8
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: Adult

Comments: Many many MANY thanks to miss_begonia and madame_d for their help and patience with this story, and for fixing my many grammatical errors and plot holes. Written for the stori_telling challenge with the prompt Married to A Stranger: Jaclyn Smith plays an amnesiac who thinks she's only 16. Now she must decide between pursuing a dream to travel Europe or staying with her hubby and kid whom she doesn't even recognize! This story does not contain Jaclyn Smith or, well, most of the elements of that movie, but there is amnesia. And anarchists. I owe a debt of gratitude to callmesandy, who wrote the best amnesia fic ever, Your Life Is Now, and from which I had to concentrate very hard on not stealing. Also, there is a music mix in case you want to listen while you read.

Warnings: Recreational drug use, alcohol, and sex.

Summary: He was twenty-two years old, and the only thing he knew about himself for sure was that he was never getting on a motorcycle again, but he kind of wanted to write a song about it. He could already hear the melody in his head. Kris gets lost, and Adam finds him. An amnesia AU. OR IS IT.

( The thing about amnesia is that the person Kris knows least about is always himself. )

*

the continuing saga in: part 2

So here's the part where I admit that I couldn't write some of the prompts you all gave me. Mainly the crossover ones, which for some reason aren't gelling in my brain right now. But if it makes you feel any better, madame_d asked for Adam/JC porn in return for beta-ing 'Wizard Not Included' and I actually have an IDEA for it, so that will be forthcoming, whenever I actually sit down and write it.

But for now, enjoy these drabbles. Warnings: recreational drug use, alcohol, and my weak impression of Neil Lambert, whose awesomeness cannot be properly replicated.

01. coolwhipdiva asked for: "Kris/Adam, Slip & Slide"
( Aside from maybe going to church with Danny or fucking Joan Rivers, this is pretty much the last thing Adam wants to do. )

02. for wutendeskind: Adam/Kris - the night of Adam's (or Kris's) CD release party.
( He's like the slutty girl from Oklahoma who keeps going back to the guy who's no good for her, because apparently, Kris is just a girl who c'aint say no. )

03. iferion requested: "AI8 - Adam - cheerful like a cheerful thing"
( I hate to tell you this, but you cannot pull off a bikini, Lambert, and I seriously doubt your ability to convincingly show Western wear. )

04. _lisalisa_ asked: "Does a conversation between Adam and Neil count?" And I decided that it did.
( Hey, you big gay freak, it's me. Neil. Your awesome and insanely intelligent brother. )

05. leobrat requested: "Something JC/Chris-ish? Maybe? Set circa 2009?"
( Coffee is for closers. )

06. brighton_girl requested: "JuC...maybe a tease of your wedding planner or some happy/sappy stuff."
( Seekrit preview of Wedding AU fic. JC really would make an awesome cake artist. )

07. moonmelody requested: "Adam/Kris, shopping?"
( Plaid is officially banned. )

08. runzu requested: "Justin/Britney - Getting back to together (FO REALZ) 09"
( It's a brave new world, and Bitsy has to follow the rules. )

Wizard Not Included

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: Adam/Brad, Adam/Kris
Rating: Adult
Comments: With many thanks to madame_d, who made this a million times better, and to musicboxgirl and llamabitchyo for telling me it doesn't suck.

Warnings: Recreational drug use.

Summary: Adam felt so weird and crazy that it couldn't be anything but full-on, true and for serious love. He was done. He was a Boyz II Men song. He was a Julia Roberts movie.

( Wizard Not Included, or Zen and the Art of Winning American Idol, through the looking glass and down the rabbit hole he goes. )

Last week I asked you guys to give me prompts involving Adam, Kris, or Adam/Kris. And then I wrote some stuff! So here they are.

Drabbles: All About Eve Adam
(and sometimes Kris, and once or maybe twice, JC, but mostly Adam)

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairings: Adam/Kris, Adam/JC, Adam/Drake, Kris/Cocktails, Peter Sarsgaard/The Entire World
Ratings: Adult

Warnings: Some of these suck, just FYI. And some of them are good. It's a crapshoot, really. Remember, in the poker game of life, women are the rake.

1. for gemmi999:
( There's only so much homoerotic French rock opera a guy can handle on one tour. )

2. for coolwhipdiva:
( Because I know you grew up in hickville and all, but civilized people jerk off in the shower where roommates can't hear them. )

3. for strippedhalo: ( Adam is like Peter Sarsgaard: he makes everyone gay. )

4. for musicboxgirl:
( After all, he loves to motorboat, so clearly, Lance is deluded. )

5. for prysmicdork:
( JC, I say this as someone who has drunkenly posted pictures of his ass on Twitter--you need to step away from the pot. It's making you retarded. )

6. for babyofthegroup:
( He's going to be a megastar. He should at least get to wake up to a nice good morning blowjob from his boyfriend. )

7. for lerah99:
( Well, we could always do 'Father Figure' but you know, I'm not really into the leather daddy scene. )

8. for wutendeskind:
( Kris hates sushi. Also? Bubble tea. )

9. for eruminator:
( Even if the original Greek olympians were all totally fucking each other, which somehow history seems to forget, but Adam spent a summer in the Troy fandom reading Achilles/Paris fic, so he knows the truth. The ancient Greeks were seriously into anal. Why do you think they wore those robe thingies? Easy access. )

for thearchpoet
( Kris is pretty sure that Adam wouldn't purposely expose Allison to gay porn. Like, 83% sure of that. )

Kris & Adam's Infinite Playlist

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: R

Notes: So quiet000001 requested a drabble in which, "Adam/Kris, some kind of AU where they're both single and Kris is bi." And I started to write. And then it got long. And now it's 1100 words and would take three comments to post, so instead it gets it's own little dealie.

Premise shamelessly stolen from Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist (the book, not the movie, which I haven't seen.)

( And in his imagination, Adam is the sort of guy that Maxwell Demon would snort lines of coke off of. Well, he's wearing glitter eyeshadow, anyway. To a ska show. )

The other day I offered ficlets for that alphabet meme thing, and a lot of you took me up on it! So here they are, in an easy-to-read form. There are still a few letters left but I think I'm pretty safe in saying that I have fulfilled all requests!

( B: is for boyfriends, Justin/JC (popslash), for brighton_girl )

( C: is for candy, Jensen/Jared (cw rpf) for wendy )

( D: is for drag, Ryan/Sharpay (hsm) for balefully )

( F: is for frenetic, JC/Chris (popslash) for sylum_tru )

( H: is for hands, Jared/Jensen (cw rpf) for popmusicjunkie )

( I: is for invidious, Harry/Draco (HP), for ccmom )

( K: is for King, JoeJo/Zefron (teerlove) for lerah99 )

( M: is for Magic Ron Weasley/Nick Jonas (HP/JoBros) for musicboxgirl )

( O: is for ocean, Chris/Lance (popslash) for why_me_why_not )

( P: is for picture, Joey/Britney (pop) for leobrat )

( Q: is for Quiff, K-Jo/Zefron (teerlove) for th_esaurus )

( R: is for records, JC/Chris (popslash) for musiclover03 )

( S: is for Sleep, JuC (popslash) for wutendeskind )

( T: is for truth, JuC (popslash) for brighton_girl )

( U: is for uninvited, Chuck/Dan (gossip girl) for seedyapartment )

( V: is for vindicated, Ashley Tisdale/Britney, (teerlove) for call_me_loca )

( W: is for water, Chad/Ryan (HSM) for lazy_daze )

( X: is for x-ray, Joey/Lance (popslash) for kira_j )

( Y: is for yo, Justin/Britney (popslash) for llamabitchyo )

One of Those Prisoner People

Fandom: pop
Pairing: it's britc, bitch!
Rating: Adultish

Warnings: Depictions of mental illness; allusions to past trauma (ie Sam Lutfi)

Comments: Written for the annual word2urmomma challenge, which is still the best challenge around, even if I am the lone participant. Many thanks to sylum_tru and kira_j for the betas. Sometimes I listened and sometimes I didn't, so all remaining stupidness is my fault.

( His hand is lying palm up on the table like he's about to get a reading, and there are words scrawled in black between the creases of his skin, things he wants to remember, things he can't forget. You trace the delicate blue stream of vein along the inside of his wrist and frown, trying to make out the smudged black words, but all you can see is, I'm telling you stories, which doesn't seem like something he'd need to remember in the first place. Everyone is telling stories. )

Later Days

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult

Warnings: recreational drug use

Comments: So originally, I was writing this for spn_j2_bigbang. But then I lost my inspiration and, well, I couldn't write the story I was planning to write. More on that later. For now I need to thank wendy, babyofthegroup, and madame_d for their kind words, attempts to help, and helping me see that I don't owe anyone a love song story. Also thanks to llamabitchyo and kira_j for their input and for telling me this totally makes sense, even if it doesn't.

( Author's notes. )

*

( Jensen's only been in love twice before, and only the once that he'll actually admit to anyone but himself, but he knows what this feeling is. He smiles to himself and thinks, third time's the charm. )

Selfish
the one where JC is a selfish asshole and he knows it

Fandom: popslash
Pairing: jc/lance
Rating: Adultishy
Comments: This is for llamabitchyo, who requested bassez and something about shoes (but probably just Lance's missing shoe during that one dance he did), for her birthday, which I think was actually a couple months ago. BUT. I did write it! Better late, etc etc. Also, there aren't really shoes, but the theme, it is there. And thanks to everyone who commented on what asshole shennanigans JC would get up to. It was very inspiring!

( The best part about this new selfish asshole philosophy is that nothing is ever his fault; it's just other peoples' inability to understand. )

Papa Was A Rodeo

Fandom: popslash
Pairing: JC/Chris
Rating: Adult
Comments: Written for Make the Yuletide Gay as a present for the lovely and talented musicboxgirl, with many thanks to my betas: wendy, madame_d, llamabitchyo, and nopseud. Special thanks to Wendy for telling me that this is the first popslash fic she's really connected with in a long time, which made it all worth it.

Summary: JC and Chris get married, have kids, and move to Connecticut. Also, there's a reunion. No, really.

( Chris always says they ended up together because Lance wouldn't have either of them, but that's not really how JC thinks of it. )

*

Continue on to part two.

A few of you requested You Ruined Me and I figured if you didn't have that, you were probably missing a few other rarer-ish JC tracks:

+You Ruined Me
+I'm Not Sleeping Alone
+If Only You Were Lonely
+Million Faces

The last two are from when he was on "Las Vegas" and played someone's no good ex-boyfriend who randomly sings/plays instruments in the bar of the casino. My favorite line is "it's 2am in the morning". Ahaha, OH CHASEZ. Is it 2am in the morning while you're getting cash from the ATM machine?

Secondly, I have finally finished updating my journalfen, which basically houses all of my fic, including the ones I had to lock on LJ because it contains underaged sex/drugs/rock n roll. Well, there are only two fics missing, actually, but they will be going up soon. I am phaballa over at journalfen as well, and my fic there is actually tagged by fandom, pairing, and series.

All I can say is, I don't remember writing those VMars fics. And I completely forgot that I wrote Degrassi femslash once.

Since I sort of think I am never going to finish these, I figured I might as well post them for posterity, at the very least. And hey, if someone feels the desire to finish them for me, you have my permission to do what you will with them.

( Harry Potter fic based on the Nanny Diaries. )

*

( Jensen is a governess fic. No, I don't even understand what I was trying to do here. If anyone else can figure it out... )

*

( A popslash AU based on 'Gone' that I started for Autumn Challenge a million years ago and never finished. It's pretty good actually. Hmm. )

*

( A tiny bit of a skater AU I was going to write for a JuC something-or-other. I had just watched the X-Games. Yesterday the World Championships were on and the PLG won again and Bucky didn't even place, very sad. He tried the 720 though and almost made it, but he didn't stay on so. Anyway. Fic. )

*

( I started writing this for the Dragon challenge. JC convinces Lance to join his World of Warcraft guild. This is actually pretty hilarious. But so much research! Luckily, my friends are all fonts of WoW knowledge. Maybe I will finish it someday. I can't even remember what pairing it was going to be, though. )

*

And that's it. And now my laundry is done! YAY.

Dear Goodbye

Fandom: popslash
Pairings: Justin/Nick, Justin/Chris
Rating: Adult
Notes: Written for bittybang!

( Cut for my beautiful artwork, omg. )

Comments and Acknowledgments
I have a lot of people to thank. First and foremost, my betas: wendy (for being willing to read it at all); kira_j, who is responsible for everything awesome and gorgeous about this fic, including some of my favorite lines, and who read it probably more times than I did in various incarnations; to musicboxgirl, who probably had no idea what she was getting into, offering to read this, and who caught some very glaring concept errors; and to llamabitchyo for giving me a wonderful beta, for thinking this is any good, and for listening to me whine. I also want to thank vaudevilles, who beta'd the ficlet this originally stemmed from and really helped me flesh out this world and these ideas at the very beginning. And of course, thanks to bubbleforest for running the challenge, and to semijocund, who did my artwork! I want to add here that this poor woman had to sit through me trying to figure out what the hell I was going to call this fic. I just couldn't decide on a title. I had extreme title angst. Ugh.

Warnings
I started writing this before I watched Generation Kill, but once I had, I realized I needed to go back and really try to capture the language and the peculiar culture of the marines. As a result, there's probably a few things you might not get, so for your edification, here's the wiki of marine corps acronyms and phrases. Most notably: "oscar mike" = on the move, FUBAR = fucked up beyond all recognition, and so on. There's some strong language in this fic that might be offensive. They're marines. That's just how they talk, so please don't hate me forever. Stay frosty, y'all. ( Spoilery warnings; please read if you have triggers relating to PTSD. )

This is probably the hardest story I have ever written. By which I mean, it was hard for me to write, and I think it's not that easy to read either. I have never felt so much angst about a fic, or so much nervousness. I am, honestly, genuinely freaked out by it. But I also kind of love it and I think it's one of the best things I've ever written, so I hope you all kind of love it, too.

Justin remembers the sand most of all. Miles and miles of it, the lightest tan, coarse and grainy, extending in all directions to meet the fluorescent blue of the sky at the horizon in an endless line that waved in the heat of the desert sun. He remembers the dirt roads between villages and the only slightly better roads between cities; he remembers that first sip of water, sweet and cold, the best damn thing he ever tasted even after only ten minutes under the sun. He remembers riding in the back of the jeep, pressed hip-to-knee with his company and wondering if today was the day they'd all get fucked to hell by a roadside bomb.

But mostly, Justin remembers the sand. The sand, and Nick.

Dear Goodbye
+Part 1: Stay Frosty
+Part 2: All the King's Men
+Part 3: Semper Fidelis
+Artwork: Dear Goodbye, the Art by semijocund
+Fanmix: A Fine Dusting of Sand