So! Happy things.
1) Jay McCarroll being interviewed by Out because of this line:
Super single. I don’t know -- I kind of think that with my ex-boyfriend it was very intense. I tried to think that it could work, but I don't really get people. That's wrong. I don't make any effort. I meet tons of hot guys all the time, and I'll meet them and they'll be in love with me, but I don't want to return the favor. I just feel like people only like me for who I am – no -- for what I am -- not who I am. Because I'm a fat freak, dude.
Welcome to the dollhouse, Jay. Sit down, have some tea. Watch some BSG and play the Sims. Stay a while, and we will be freaks together.
2) NEW BATTLESTAR TONIGHT. Also, Dollhouse. I haven't been loving Dollhouse, but I am giving it time. Well, as much time as FOX is.
3) Kelly Clarkson's new album. She has one song called whyyouwannabringmedown that sounds like Bikini Kill Lite. IT'S SO AWESOME.
4) This:
Now I can't decide who I want to win, because Quest Crew was amazing last night. And Ryan is so adorable. But he's at an advantage with his anime hair.
5) NEW SKINS!!! Technically last night, but it's on my computer waiting to be watched. EE!!!
And that's all I got. I need for the weekend to be here now, please. Tell me something that makes you happy. DO IT.
In other news, today I am playing racquetball! I joined the UT gym and it's fabulous. It's the nicest gym I've ever been to, and I didn't even go to the super fancy new gym. I went to the "crappy" gym. It's sosososo nice. Faculty and staff have their own locker rooms and weight rooms. The big weight room with the aerobics machines was totally full with people waiting, but the staff room was half empty. *beams* And they have a fancy online reservation system for the racquetball courts! So I am playing against Matt today during my lunch hour.
Today for Friday is Shiny, I thought I'd do electronic gadgets. There are many gadgets I wish I could have but never will, because I am incapable of spending money on things I don't actually NEED. Except coffee, but it's pretty arguable that I do need coffee.
First up:
The Sony VAIO netbook. It's only $900! Hahaha. Also, I love how this is advertised as pretty much only for portable net browsing, and yet it has more RAM and a bigger hard drive than my PC. It's so pretty and tiny! 9.7in by 4.7in. 1.4lbs. IT WOULD FIT IN MY PURSE NOMNOMNOM.
( So shiny they could compete with Edward Cullen. )
01. Rich boy, poor boy. Cupboards, secrets, and high school drop outs. Harry/Draco
02. Babylon, ice cream, and nipple rings. Justin/Brian, Queer as Folk
03. Nature and motherhood and whales. JOSHLYNN
04. Cherub tattoo. Lynncest
05. Backhome boys. Jensen/Jared, NO ONE GOT THIS WHAT??
06. They bicker like an old married couple. Sirius/Remus, also shocked that everyone didn't know this.
07. His heart bleeded when she cheated. Justin/Britney, my denim OTP
08. He had to learn to call them motorbikes. Ewan/Hayden, Star Wars RPF, don't judge me.
09. King of Thieves, King's Champion Alanna/George, Tortall
10. She's too smart to be fetching his dry cleaning. Donna/Josh Lyman, West Wing
11. Crying and sex, they're all about it. JC/Chris, which you'd only know if you'd read the Many-Wooded Houses or whatever that series is called about 3928253 times like I have.
12. Everyone is bisexual, but especially aliens and admins. Jack/Ianto, Torchwood
13. It's a good thing he refused to dance. Elizabeth/Darcy, you are all failcats.
14. She won't divorce and he won't cheat. Starbuck/Apollo, BSG
15. You make me come...plete. Willow/Tara *hearts*
Second thing, I am making a recs list for someone who has only mostly read JuC thus far, and I would like your suggestions!
Thirdly, Friday is shiny! Today I think we will look at the Spring line from Urban Outfitters, ( because their clothes are so trendy and expensive and I have only bought 2 things from them, ever, but I like looking. )
Fourthly, I now think that Beau must be shipping JC/Ryan (from Quest). Because yes.
Secondly, I want to point out that either I really am psychic, or JC has been reading my LJ. (Or we just think alike... which is scary so I prefer the first option above all.) Last week I said: "I'm sorry, I know a lot of people are all, "Clogging isn't hip hop blah blah" but you know what? It's America's Best Dance Crew, not America's Best Hip Hop Breaking Crew, and clogging is fucking hard as shit." Guess what JC said last night? YEAH. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am delighted that he defended the honor of the cloggers and all. And they are amazing. But you know. Oh well, at least I haven't called anyone 'homie' or 'homeboy' lately. Next week, I think JC should start using 'homeskillet'. I want him to say, "Hey, homeskillet, that dance was made of failcats." *waits patiently*
And now, ( Friday is shiny! And so are these awesome clothes from the new line at Anthropologie. *yearns* )
First though, I want to ( talk a little bit about MTYG, writing, etc. )
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Wow, that went on for a while, sorry. Okay, now for fun stuff. Since Christmas is officially over, everyone is coming out with their new spring lines! Today, let's look at Michelle Obama's fav, J Crew.
( *grabby hands* I WANT THESE DAMNIT. )
1) Danny Noriega continues to delight me, especially when he makes OMG faces and banters adorably with Simon in his "I'm a supergay teenager and that's how shit is nowadays, gramps" sort of way. Also, he looks like Jessica Alba. Only he's not annoying or ruining any movies the way she is.
2) ( I can't believe who got kicked off Idol this week. WTF, America? )
3) Lost was kind of boring? Except now I have a crush on Daniel Faraday. Damnit.
4) JC was in bitch mode again last night. I can always tell when he's going to say something bad, because he starts out with, "Well, let me tell you what I liked..." It seems like he's really not enjoying himself on the show. I wonder if shit is going down outside the show and that's what's making him so pissy. Also, people should never dance to Ayo Technology. EVER. The only groups I really enjoyed last night were Kaba Modern (and JC's comments... which made me slightly uncomfortable because um... yes... the pelvic thrust comment...eeeeep) and Fysh n Chicks. Mainly I just like that Nelly Furtado song, though. The theme was kind of lame. Thriller next week!! EEE!!!!
5) I went to hip hop class for the first time in a month, and I hurt EVERYWHERE. Also, my knees are just giant bruises. Our combination was to 'Low', so now I have that fucking "apple bottom jeans" line stuck in my head. And I kind of like that song now. Anyway.
6) Big Brother... is possibly the worst Big Brother I've ever seen, due to all these people being incredibly dumb. It's sad when I think Unitard Jen is smarter than 90% of this house combined. They are so dumb, it's almost painful to watch. Especially with the second gay guy gone. Although every time I look at James, I think about his gay porn and how big his dick is, and that sort of makes the show less painful.
That's my happy place right now. ( Here, have a gayface!JC picture. And also, my thoughts on the Pussycat Whores Present: GIRLICIOUS. )
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In bad news, the nerve in my back is all fucked up again and it's giving me headaches and just hurting in general. *sadface* Today, I need to figure out how to deal with the billing system here, blah. And also, I haven't spoken to my friend with whom I had the political disagreement with since it happened. I'm not sure exactly what I should do about that. On the one hand, it's stupid and immature of him to stop talking to me over that, and also says to me that when he expressed his desire to be "real" friends a few months ago, what he really meant was that he felt guilty for treating me badly when we were dating and the years following our break up, and that way he could say that he at least tried and assuage his guilt.
Whatever. It's pretty clear he doesn't value my opinion or my respect, and I honestly don't have room in my life for a friend who thinks I'm stupid.
ETA: Also, just because I am now in A Mood from thinking about these things... I just want to say that if you don't like me, in general, why would you keep my on your flist? Like, I just don't get it. There are some people who I comment to and never get replies; a few times I wouldn't notice at all, because I comment to a lot of posts in one day, but there are a few people I notice NEVER reply to my comments on their posts and never comment to MY posts, so I just have to wonder--why do you have me friended? It's not doing me any favours. If you don't like me, defriend me. I won't be offended. Some people can't appreciate my particular brand of awesome, and I get that.
( American Idol ie the most awkward plugging ever. )
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( And then I watched America's Bitchiest Judge. I mean Dance Crew. Whatevs. )
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( LOST...I don't even know what to do with you anymore. )
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And that was all for me. Have not watched SPN yet, but I heard it was a Bella episode. Honestly, she's just so boring to me. My problem with all the secondary characters on SPN (with the exception of what's her name, Jo's Mom, and Bobby) is that I don't give a shit about them. I have no emotional connection to any of those people and they are not in any way empathetic. Even Ruby, because she's such a generic girl and there's really nothing exciting or moving about her personality.
Ellen! That was her name. Ellen is by far my favorite SPN character. Yes, more than Sam and Dean. Also, can the whole Dead-is-dying storyline be over yet? And whatever happened to the war against Hell? Because the war against Hell looks an awful lot like ssdd to me.
THIS IS HOW THE WORLD ENDS: The trailer for Southland Tales premiered this week, and I think it goes without saying that I am ridiculously excited for this film. Even if it didn't have JuJu as a maimed war vet, I would be going to see this film. First, because it's by the same guy who created Donnie Darko. I don't actually like that guy and I think he's sort of an idiot, but DD was brilliant if you never watch the director's commentary, and YES. Lovely. Second, it has the Rock AND Sarah Michelle Gellar in it. BOOM. Here's the trailer for your viewing pleasure:
XXOO: So I watched the premier of Gossip Girl on Wednesday. It was... pretty good. It was no The OC, but it's fun and I like the structure of it. I tried to read the book in the bookstore at lunch yesterday and WOW, is that poorly written. I want to know how these YA series writers get their gigs when they can't actually, you know, WRITE. It doesn't seem fair. But yes, the idea is fun and I'm looking forward to more of this show, and hoping it's more like S1-2 of The OC than S3. Although somehow, I don't think it could possibly be as good. They don't have a Rachel Bilson or an Adam Brody, and while I think the girl who plays Blair is ridiculously gorgeous, apparently we're supposed to like the blonde girl better? Huh.
WHAT'S YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA?: This season on American's Next Top Model, Tyra does the same shit she always does, but now she's on a boat! Exciting. I don't have much to say about ANTM except that I'm disappointed that raped/molested/abused Alaskan girl didn't make the cut. It'll be interesting to see how Asperger's Girl does, considering she can't walk for SHIT. They always do that, though. They choose a girl and say, "But she'll take awesome photos" and then when she STILL can't walk 3 weeks later, they're all, "You have to grow as a model and it's not enough to take beautiful pictures blah blah." Oh, and "normal sized girl"?? WTF is up with that? I didn't know there was like, some sort of weird no man's land between "plus-sized" models and stick thin girls. Apparently, when you look like a normal girl, you can't be a model. That's so... weirdly fucked up.
Is it makeover week next week? I want to see them cry...
COURT ORDERS: Brit Brit has a long list of things she can't do around her kids (including drinking and corporal punishment), and another list of things she MUST do (parental counseling, etc). I'm going to put this in the WIN category. She's being held accountable for things and since the only people she cares about are her kids, this is a good step forward. Maybe someone will realize that she's way more fucked up than they originally assumed.
Meanwhile, the Juice is back on the wrong side of the law for trying to steal back his own memorabilia. I really have no opinion on this. When OJ was on trial for the murder of Nicole and Ron Brown, my father had just retired. He watched the entire trial on television. And I do mean the ENTIRE TRIAL. If OJ was on, he wouldn't leave the house, not even to drive me to a lesson or whatever. He was obsessed. He was also convinced that OJ was innocent, or at least that the cops had botched it up and planted so much evidence that there was no way OJ could be fairly convicted. I wonder what my dad would think now, about the book and the recent arrest and so on. Maybe it's best that he never had to have his image of OJ shattered, eh?
And that's all I have. My bosses are both gone today, so that's awesome, but I'm still really sick and I don't think I can write when I feel this shitty. I know I owe you guys timestamps, and they're coming, I promise! As soon as I can stop coughing up a lung.
ETA: Is it possible to get high off of Sudafed? Because I feel...wobbly. And a bit dizzy. Sort of like if I've had like... 1/3 of a joint.
COME TO MY WINDOW: Okay, so, I just HAVE to laugh. The Grammys are hosting some sort of weird ass American Idol-esque contest, where the winner will get to perform live with Justin Timberlake at the awards show. But the best part really is the song selection for the auditions, supposedly chosen by Justin himself. If that's true, Justin has some fucked up taste in music. 'What's Love Got to Do with It' is awesome, as is 'Come to My Window', but um, Faith Hill, Justin? Really? Luther Vandross? Mariah Carey? And seriously, if you're going to choose a Whitney song--'I Wanna Dance with Somebody'?? And of course, he's chosen one of his own songs--'Cry Me A River.' Who wants to bet that anyone that sings CMAR doesn't get chosen? Also, this sounds like a list Lance chose. Justin can be such a tool. I sort of love it.
TOTALLY RICHIE: So yeah. Nicole Richie, drugs, blah blah. Honestly, are people surprised by this? She might have to go to jail for a few days, even, because she's fucked up too many times in the past. Still, a week of jail can't possibly be as bad as a lifetime of being BFFs with Paris Hilton.
THE ENVELOPE PLEASE: Grammy nominations were last week, and pretty much unsurprising, but this week were the Golden Globe noms. Now, we all know that the GGs aren't a real awards show. They're an excuse to put a bunch of celebrities in a room with free booze and watch them stuble up to the stage when they win. It's a fairly amusing event to watch. Still, every year I am disappointed by the lack of vision in the nominations. For example. Lost got nominated for best drama tv series. Um, seriously, GGs? Lost sucks. Lost sucks out LOUD compared to some of the other shows I watch. Battlestar Galactica has been called the best show on television by pretty much everyone--no nominations. Also?? Patricia Arquette, as much as I love her and think Medium is hilarious and cracky, is not a good actress. She's nominated. Ha. Katie Sackoff and Mary Macdonald are about a million times better. I mean, okay, they wouldn't beat Mary Louise Parker, but STILL. It's the principle of the thing.
STARS ARE BRIGHT: Another episode of Friday Night Lights that made me cry. Seriously, the whole Lilah storyline is very emotional for me. Maybe because it feels totally real, and I love what they're trying to show about how hard it is to be a teenage girl in high school, especially when you make a mistake. The part where Tim sat down at lunch with her?? SO GOOD. So true.
SPEAKING OF STARS: Battlestar was just okay for me this week. Mainly because I don't like Kat. But I did like the bit with Starbuck growing and learning and all that good stuff. I need more Mary Macdonald and Adama please, now. The cylon stuff was also quite interesting, but I hate Balter so much it's hard to pay attention during those bits.
BUT REALLY, THE WINNER IS: The Lost Room. Holy shit, if you didn't watch this, catch it this weekend on the SciFi channel, because it was AMAZING. Peter Krause from Six Feet Under stars. I really hope SciFi is planning on turning this into a series. Really really. It was SO GOOD. The premise: Joe (Peter Krause) is a cop who gets given a key to a motel room that doesn't exist. When he uses the key, he discovers it will open any door, but only into this motel room of nowhere. Then he figures out that if he concentrates hard enough when trying to leave the room, it will take him through any door, as long as he knows what the door/place looks like.
Then his daughter goes into the room without the key and disappears. The rest of the miniseries is Joe trying to figure out the secret of the motel room and the key so that he can get his daughter back. He finds out there are several Objects aside from the key, and they all do crazy ass shit. The Comb stops time. The Pen burns things from the inside. The Glasses prevent combustion. The Glass Eye heals all flesh. The Scissors rotate things. The Watch cooks eggs (heee). The Bus Ticket sends people to New Mexico. Joe meets a bunch of different people along the way, groups that are trying to destroy the objects, groups that are trying to bring them all together because they think the Objects are pieces of God, etc.
Anyway, watch this. Seriously, it's amazingly cool. Peter Krause is hot, and the whole thing is just awesome.
And now, back to the books.
ONE MORE TIME: So apparently now there are reports that Britney is a pill popper. Or rather, that she had prescriptions for Paxil and Xanax in her hand bag at a club, or something. No one saw her TAKE the pills, but she had them, and of course, that couldn't possibly be for legitimate purposes. Sorry, I'm very defensive of Britney, and of people on medication, so when someone like Perez prints that Britney is mixing drugs and alcohol and makes the judgement call that, in his professional opinion as a "writer" with no sense of decency or integrity, "Mixing these drugs (and possibly other) drugs with alcohol is extremely dangerous" I tend to get a little pissed off.
( Let me dissect this little rumor a little, just for my own benefit. )
BUT ALSO: Okay, I'm done. I don't know why I get so pissed off about this Britney shit, but I do. Actually, the other day
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lecksee and I had a discussion about Cameron vs Britney, and which is worse—beating the crap out of paparazzi, or flashing them. Because as much as Cameron likes to sue paparazzi for assault, she did actually beat one up last year or something, so you know. That's fun, I guess. I maintain that, while it is funnier and classier to beat them up than it is to flash them your vagina, I don't approve of violence. And yes, I know that the paparazzi are out of hand like, a LOT, but that doesn't give anyone the right to go around committing violent acts. There's a reason that we have a government and a way to lobby it. The proper recourse of action to take is to appeal to your lawmakers to try to get them to enact laws that protect you against privacy invasion. And if you're Cameron Diaz, and a millionaire, you certainly have the power and money to get an actual audience with your lawmakers.So really, I prefer the vagina-flashing method. Violence is not the answer, yo.
RIDIN' DIRRTY: So 50 Cent and the Mayhem are hanging out now? Or did they just get their picture taken together? I'm trying really hard to care about Mayhem, but he's such an assface that I can't do it. And 50 bores me. I like Nelly. I like his band aide. That guy needs a comeback.
WANT YOU BACK: Lots of break ups this week. Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson. Lance and Reichen. Then NOT Lance and Reichen. Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. I can't keep my stories straight anymore, I just know that it's really amusing that on tabloid covers at the grocery, they call Kid Rock 'Kid.'
SOME GIRLS: Try to use JC Chasez as a decoy tactic. Apparently, he and Karina Smirnoff aren't dating, and when asked about the event he supposedly attended with her, he said, "Karina who?" I listened to the interview, it was pretty hilarious. He sounded like he was about to die of exhaustion, and this DJ's trying to get the skinny on some chick JC can't even remember meeting, much less dating.
AND THE NOMINATIONS ARE: Grammy time! The nominations are in and, you know, it's pretty much as expected. Mary J Blige and Red Hot Chili Peppers both got lots. Justin got 4. People were surprised by Justin not getting a nomination for Best Pop Vocal Single, or whatever, but I mean… come ON. What were they going to nominate—SexyBack? There are hardly any vocals ON it. He did get nominated for Pop Album, so that's nice. I was also very pleased to see that Ani Difranco got nominated for, um, best album package, or something. I don't know what that is, but sure.
28 DAYS LATER: So, who saw the first twenty minutes of Supernatural and can tell me what happened, because my tivo randomly decided to not tape it anymore? I did see the rest. Very interesting. But I feel like maybe there's something wrong with me, or I'm not watching it right or something, because the whole thing kind of left me cold. Everyone else is freaking out and so excited and all, "I LOVE MY SHOW!" and I'm just sort of like, "Eh, it was okay. It was no Battlestar."
I think Battlestar and Buffy have ruined me for normal television. Sigh.
SAVE THE CHEERLEADER: And no, I don't mean Heroes. Friday Night Lights was amazing this week. I was all ready to hate Lilah Garrity with the fire of a million suns, and instead she made me cry. She fucked up. Girls are so MEAN. But her daddy was there for her. Oh, and the rest of the show was good too.
SAVE THE WORLD: But now I am talking about Heroes, which is probably my favorite new show of the season. If you're not watching this show, you are seriously missing out. ( So now we know who and what Sylar is. And it's scary, and gross. I'm never going to the watch maker again, that's for fucking sure. )
18 MONTHS AGO: Battlestar Galactica is still the best show on television. Just watch it. Or I will have you assassinated.
MEANWHILE, IN LA: Okay, I admit it. I caught up on South of Nowhere after not taping for a few weeks because, um, I had to take The Ghost Whisperer instead. Hush. But now I'm caught up. And I have to say, this show? Is the best depiction of a coming out that I have ever seen. It so perfectly documented the confusion and anger and hurt. Plus, I could stare at Mandy Musgrove all day. She's fucking HOT.
And that's it for this week. NaNo is over (even if it's never over) so I'm back. Sort of. Oh, and everyone should check out the latest episode of
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slashcast, in which I discuss my true feelings about gay marriage, emmagrant01 interviews Henry Jenkins about the future of slash and fandom (very very interesting! Go listen!!), and Emma, Char and I babble on about ratings and canon and other stuff.WHO'S GAY THIS WEEK? Apparently, TR Knight is. WOOO!
IT'S NOT JUST THE AUTO MANUFACTURERS: In case anyone cares, or still watched NBC, they laid off 700 people this week. You know what would help make their network more successful? Some GOOD PROGRAMMING, bitches.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE!: The "adopt an African baby" trend continues with Madonna. For the first time in pretty much ever, people are wondering just where the hell Malawi is. I do have to say, that is one lucky baby. I wish Madonna would adopt ME.
AND ALSO: Some rapper whose name I don't remember was shot, and then arrested on the way to the hospital for having guns in his car or something. HMMMMmmmm.
COULD YOU BE MORE AWESOME: Is totally the question I would like to ask Aaron Sorkin. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip continues to be amazing. I don't like the actress who plays Harri. Or maybe I just don't like the character. But she reminds me of Jane from Kicking and Screaming (the 1995 one about post-college depression with Eric Stoltz and, ironically, the guy who plays one of the writers on Studio 60, not the one about soccer with Will Farrell), especially the way she smiles, like she still has braces. Also because she's annoying. I get that they're trying to show that there are some good born again Christians out there, but they sort of lost me on her when she a) went on Pat Robertson (I'm totally with Matt on this, and would very much break up with someone who went on the 700 Club) and then b) doesn't actually follow the tenets of her religion (premarital sex, anyone?). If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an ultra religious hypocrite. I mean, I have friends that are born again or even Mormon, but unlike this fictional character who, by the way, they could've made less horrible very easily because she's not REAL, actually follow the tenets of their religions. I have the utmost respect for that, and so this character just plain pisses me off.
SORT OF LIKE CLAIRE: Why did Shannon and Boone have to die? Seriously. They were so pretty, and interesting! I watched the last two episodes of LOST last night, and I must say, this season is shaping up to be sooooo much better than last season. Sawyer makes ME want a fish biscuit. I don't have too much to say on Lost, except that… I love Locke, and I don't understand why he always has to get shit on, all the fucking time. And also, ( lalala spoilers I can't heeeaaaaar you! )
BE COOL, SODA POP: This week's Veronica Mars was good, as usual, nothing ground breaking to say about it except that, well. I love Weevil, and I love Francis Capra, but the boy is not looking good. He gained a bunch of weight or something and. Ick. It makes him look about 40. I also have the feeling that Veronica and Logan are not long for this world, and am constantly amazed that Wallace's roommate isn't gay. He's totally gay, right, it's not just me? The militant feminists annoy me, because really? I was a member of the Feminist Majority group in college, and none of them were freaky like that. The way they're depicting the feminists is sort of pissing me off.
THEY HAVE A FUCKING PLAN: Holy shit, Battlestar Galactica, you are the best show on television, maybe EVER.
Dear Battlestar,
I want to have your babies. Please continue to tackle important, topical issues, make me think about our world in a whole new way, question my fundamental belief systems, all while making me really really care about what happens to a character that I used to think was a useless, drunken idiot. You amaze me. Seriously, anytime you want me to pop one out on your behalf, I am totally prepared to do that.
Love always and forever,
Me
( But really. REALLY. Starbuck. And the. FIVE TIMES. And. Yes. )
LIVIN' LARGE IN TEXAS: Texas forever, baby. Yeah, so. Sarah and I have been watching Friday Night Lights along with probably every person in the entire state. I'm enjoying the show so far. It's not amazing, but it's pretty good. The acting is good. The coach is HOT. Sarah says it's very realistic and true to Texas, and every time we watch it, I am so grateful I did not grow up in Texas. And also? The dark haired chick who plays the slain quarterback's girlfriend? SMOKIN'.
SMOOTH CRIMINAL: So, I didn't get to watch Project Runway yet because I went to see Ani Difranco instead, and then last night I missed Supernatural because I was at OMG THE BEST THING EVER!!!
emmagrant01 and I attended Thriller: The Michael Jackson Sing Along and it was. SO GOOD. Watching all those videos made me remember how totally amazing Michael Jackson was. People keep comparing La Timberlake to Michael, but seriously? No. I love Justin, I do, but he doesn't even come close to approaching the amazingness of Michael Jackson, and no matter what Timbaland thinks, FS/LS is no 'Off the Wall.' Okay. Okay.So, first off, Smooth Criminal. I had never scene this video before, but it was so good. SO GOOD. The dancing, holy crap amazing. Everything about it. Michael had some serious STYLE. And just… the way he moved. So smoothly, effortlessly, fluidly. But he was always so passionate about what he was singing, even when he was clearly just playing a character. And then. Did y'all know that the video for Bad is actually like 15 minutes long and has a whole intro story directed by Martin Scorscese with Wesley Snipes in it??!! Because it does! And it's awesome! It's very Native Son, actually. And then you've got the video, which. Man. I don't know if you could ever top it. Until you get to Thriller. And Billy Jean. And Dirty Diana. And The Way You Make Me Feel. And. OMG. Beat It.
( I always forget that Michael Jackson had some of the best songs, well, EVER. I know the media loves Justin Timberlake, and I love him too, really, but there's no WAY he beats out Michael for the King of Pop. )
Anyway, if you live in Austin, I highly recommend going to the sing along next week. Henri and Owen were hysterical as always. I don't think I have been that entertained since, well, the Boy Band Sing Along. Now I can't get Billy Jean or Dirty Diana out of my head. She's just a girl who says that I am the one…
- Mood:
amused
OH, AARON: So little Aaron Carter is getting married. To a dethroned Miss Teen USA/former playboy model/Nick's throw back. If he weren't so stupidly in love with his brother, I might actually be happy for him. But you know, right on, brother. House of
POT 'N SHROOMS: So Willy Nelson's bus gets pulled over and they find a pound and a half of pot plus shrooms, and all they get is a citation? Um. Can I just point out that while I love Willy Nelson and I think pot (and probably shrooms) should be decriminalized, if that had been like, 50 Cent or Nelly or something, his ass would be in JAIL. Maybe this new season of Survivor is on to something? Could it be that racism still exists??!!
MY KINGDOM FOR A: Book about NSYNC (and his other experiences), written by Lance Bass himself. Even if that would make my Big Gay Boy Band Novel of Awesome completely obsolete, DAMN, I would kill for that book. Except that Lance thinks "unmoral" is a word. Maybe Reichen can help him out, there. On the Choey Show this week when they heard about Lance and his possible book, they were both like, "WHAT?? We need to call him." Now maybe Chris will regret ragging on Lance so much this week to the point where a caller actually implied Chris is homophobic, his response to which was awesome: "Are you trying to ask if I'm homophobic? No. It's just that now I can actually say all the jokes I've been bottling up all these years." In other Lance news, Justin claimed on the Tonight Show that Lance actually called him BEFORE the People cover to let him know that Lance was going to "make an announcement" and ask for his blessing. Awwwwww.
CLAYMATES MOURN: So Clay Aiken announces that, well, his sexual orientation is no one's fucking business, thanks. ( He basically told Diane Sawyer to fuck off when she asked if he was gay, but in a nice, Clay sort of way, where he rambled on about privacy and hurtful gossip and how who he screws doesn't affect his 'music.' )
JUST BE LIMBER: So, apparently, Justin does not care for the paparazzi. Who knew? Although honestly as far as I'm concerned, he can threaten to beat up the press and have freak outs and have to be held back by (*snort*) Trace and his mom and Cameron (please, like Trace could keep Justin from doing anything he wanted to), just so long as he always looks this hot doing it. But my thought on this, really, is that. Okay yes, it sucks to get hounded by photographers, and they're rude and horrible, etc. But Justin has been famous pretty much his whole life. He should know by now that it only makes things worse when he gets all fighty with them. In other Justin news, he and Timbaland have signed on to produce Duran Duran's new album. He really IS bringing sexy back.
BIRTH OF THE FREAK BABY: On Nip/Tuck this week, the Freak Baby was born. I don't have much to say about the rest of the episode except that Sean and Christians Big Gay Love needs to happen SOON, because all this not-dicking around is making me tense. Also, Mario Lopez? HOT. How is he still so fucking hot? I miss Saved By the Bell, but I was always a Zach girl. What was I thinking?? Mmmmm Slater. Anyway. Freak Baby. So it's born, and some crazed midget male nurse tells Julia that she should look in its eyes or touch its freaky lobster claw hands before they decide to fix them, and so of course because a random stranger/midget tells them so, I bet everyone reading this $10 that they will choose not to operate. If I was their daughter, I would run from the Freak Baby, too.
Oh, and something happened with Matt, and him being in a cult or whatever, but it's not like that's new. Cults, Nazis, trannies. It's all leads back to Matt being so incredibly useless that he couldn't find his own dick with both hands. At least now it's circumcised for his ex-girlfriend's lesbian pleasure.
CAMERON, YOU SUCK: I've been watching the new season of Laguna Beach, and I actually really like it. No one can ever be as awesome as Kristin and LC, but I really do like Tessa, and the whole love triangle thing makes me want to punch Cameron a lot. What an ass. And of course Jessica has no idea he hooked up with Tessa. It's just. URGH. HATE. On the other hand, I'm kind of happy Kyndra is dating that guy, because he's such an ass and she's such a bitch. But it's sort of making me like Cam, who I hated beyond measure before, just because Cam really cares about Kyndra and doesn't want her dating Jerk Off boy. It was funny to see Jason on the show. Didn't he just get arrested?
TYRA TYRRANT: The new cycle of America's Next Top Model started this week with a bang. I really like some of the new girls and I'm excited to see where this goes. Mainly though, I have to say, the shoot at the end was pretty awesome. I actually really like the twins and man, the Bullemia twin? What a freaking AWESOME picture. It was like art. That may be the best thing I've seen on ANTM ever. Tyra is crazy awesome as always, but what the hell is up with this Monique chick? Is she just a bitch, or is something actually wrong with her that she thinks acting like that is okay?
STUDIO 60, BABY: We watched the premier of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and I have to say, I really liked it. I think this is going to be pretty awesome, and Bradley Whitford and Matt…Chandler… have really good chemistry. It'll be interesting to see where this goes, but it almost feels like the perfect mix of West Wing and Sports Night right now, and I'm very much digging it. WOO!
WHAT I LEARNED ON THE CHRIS AND JOEY SHOW: For those of you who don't care about the band formerly known as *nsync quite as much as I do, Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone filled in on the morning show at Orlando's 106.7 while the normal hosts were on some sort of cruise. They were hilarious and did a fantastic job, even when they fought (loudly) over the importance of football. ( In the process, I learned several fascinating things about nsync and the popworld in general. )
I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of right now. I am karaoke-ing tonight, which is very exciting, and having delicious dinner at Polvo's. Remember, next week are the season premiers of Gilmore Girls and Supernatural!!! WOOO!!!! Speaking of Supernatural, my roommate,
dazifudo watched the end of Devil's Trap with me yesterday. When the semi hit the Impala, she goes, "Well that sucks." Heeee.- Mood: cheerful
HANGIN' TOUGH: So, apparently Jordan Knight of New Kids on the Block Fame is staging a comeback. Um, a second comeback. He's coming again, if you will. At Wal*Mart. So he's coming, at Wal*Mart. Yum. Does he have a new CD out or something? Does anyone know? Because I do love me some Jordan Knight. He's totally blowing my mind this time.
END OF AN ERA: It's almost as sad as the Britney-Justin breakup of 2001, although probably will not result in an amazing "fuck you bitch," career-making song complete with creepy stalker revenge video. Yes, that's right, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are splitsville. Whitney filed for divorce, and the world wept, mainly because we will now never again get to witness the cracked out awesomeness that was Being Bobby Brown. Facts that I learned re: Bobby Brown yesterday at the Boy Band Sing Along: a) Bobby was a member of New Edition b) as were the members of what later become Bel Biv de… yeah, you know what I'm talking about, even if I can't spell it c) Mr Telephone Man is not a good song, but highly entertaining when 20 feet tall. All I'm saying is, Bobby helped Whitney out with her anal issues. Where's she going to find another man like that?
THEM MOTHERFUCKERS: It's official. Justin Timberlake is not only bringing sexy back, but he's also chopping me up, posing, and generally getting his freak on as much as possible. FutureSex/LoveSounds is almost certainly going to debut at #1, which John Mayer seemed only slightly bitter about during his TRL appearance the other day. Poor Mayer. He's all trying to write deep soulfull music and play his own instruments and make political commentary, but is thwarted by Justin's sexy ladies and willingness to take his shirt off and generally be hot. You know what else would help? If Mayer weren't such a misogynistic asshole. Maybe then I would like him and buy his album.
ACL ROCKS THE G-SPOT: This weekend is the Austin City Limits festival, which is taking place a couple blocks from my house. Apparently loads of celebs decided to show up for it, although whether they'll actually hang with the masses in Zilcher Park is doubtful. It's nice to know that Jake Gyllenhaal is in my city, and that he has good taste in music, as he went to the Thievery Corportation show last night at Stubb's. No VIP lounges in Austin, wahahaha, so Jake was forced to mill around with the rest of the lowly mortals.
SPEAKING OF MAYER: Does anyone else think his dumping of Jessica Simpson might've had something to do with her going public with it and him being incredibly embarrassed? Poor Jessica. It's not her fault she's semi-retarded, she was just drawn that way.
BRRRRIIIIING: What can I say about the finale of Big Brother? It pretty much happened the way I thought it would, and I'm glad that Erica got totally whupped, but I still wish it had been Will or Janelle (or both!) in the final two. I'm glad Janelle got the jury prize, though, because she deserved it. Girl is like an idiot savant at memorization and competition. I do have to say that Mike Boogie really clinched it with his answers to the juror's questions and his closing statement. He totally redeemed himself to Howie in less than three minutes. Not that it's hard to convince Howie of much of anything, but that was still pretty impressive considering the hatred Howie had for Mike. But yeah, so Mike sort of won me over with his responses and speech making at the end. He handled everything really well, and I'm almost shocked by how well-spoken he was. Now I can't decide it Janelle would've beaten him after all.
In conclusion: Big Brother is awesome. And it's nice to see Kayser's hair growing back.
IT GETS ME OFF: I was so happy when Vincent got booted off Project Runway last week. If I had to hear him reference his dick even one more time, I would lose all desire to ever have sex again, ever. And then… they brought him BACK. UGH. And Angela, who I also hate. It was pretty random; Bravo was obviously just trying to stir up drama without a true Santino-esque personality this year. But whatevs.
Ironically, I hated Laura's dress. It looked like something a seventh grader would wear to the school dance. Actually, it looked a lot like the dress I did wear to the Spring Dance—the one where Josh asked me to slow dance and got a boner half way through that he told me about the summer after we graduated and he had already started going bald. He's married now. These aren't especially fond memories. However, I do agree that Jeffrey's outfit looked cheap. In fact, I believe my exact words were, "She looks like a hooker in that." Results were predictable. Final four, baby! It'll be interesting to see if Juli (or is it Uli?) and Jeffrey can do anything different. The best part of the episode was the look Heidi gave Michael Kors when he impersonated Juli's accent. Heee! German solidarity!
GAY IS THE NEW BLACK: And Nip/Tuck knows it. This show is amazing as ever, and I love the new awareness Christian seems to have of his big gay love for Sean, which has really been obvious from the beginning. I mean, talk about overcompensating and a classic case of displacement (via the most annoying wife in the world, Julia). The only thing that really bothers me about this show is Matt, his ugliness, and the utter stupidity of his storylines and character in general. I mean seriously, that kid makes me want to kill myself. He's the most pathetic, easily-led, annoying character I think I've ever seen on television. First, he dates a lesbian, who he tries to give himself a drunken circumcision for; then he dates a tranni without knowing it, because clearly, the lesbian cheerleader never showed him what a real woman feels like; then he dates a nazi, and if forced to cut off a tranni's dick, which I guess is sort of poetic, but I sort of feel like his whole theme of dick cuttings-off isn't, you know, compelling or good in any way. And now he's a scientologist. YEAH. Xenu help us.
Also, I should mention the Freak Baby. So, maybe I'll get attacked again for my hatred of babies and pregnancy, but I have to say that if there's one thing that's more disgusting than a pregnant woman, it's a pregnant woman with a Freak Baby inside her. I hope she miscarries. I don't want to look at a Freak Baby all season, damnit.
SHAME AND BASKETBALL: Okay y'all. So I finally did it. I broke down and watched the pilot for One Tree Hill. And I can now honestly say that I think the show is crap and I have no desire to ever see another episode. Possibly it gets better, but to me, OTH was a lot like trying to watch Prince of Tennis: guys I don't find attractive playing a sport I don't give a shit about for girls that are annoying caricatures spouting bad dialogue and feeling deep connections over coffee and broke down cars. But hey, I gave it a try. I'll watch anything once.
Okay, that's all for Friday is Shiny. I'll be gone all weekend for my fab photoshoot, of which I am becoming increasingly terrified. Fandom meet-up last night was ridiculously awesome. Instead of playing 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back)' for the encore like they usually do, they played 'SexyBack.' Usually at the sing alongs, especially this one, a large amount of people stand up and dance around, etc. But during 'SexyBack', everyone in the theatre was on their feet, and if you've never heard 200 drunk fangirls screaming MOTHERFUCKER, you're seriously missing out. It was AMAZING. There was also a super cute gay boy sitting next to me, who joined me in cheering loudly every time Lance Bass was on the screen. Speaking of which, I heard a rumor that Lance might be the new Motorola spokesperson, or something. Anything that lets me see more of Lance is a good thing though, so WOOO!
- Mood: cheerful
BOB BURNQUIST, HERO: It's that time again! Yes, it's the summer X-Games, and I will be firmly glued to ESPN for most of the weekend watching. I got to see most of the men's vert last night. Sandro Dias, man, what can I say? He's pretty amazing, although Bucky is still my favorite, and then Bob. Bob always does the craziest shit, and that's why I love him. Dave Mira is out of the games with a lacerated liver (YEAH, gross), but there's always Jamie Bestwick to watch in BMX. Travis Pastrana is competing in like, every competition known to god and man.
What's really exciting about this year, though, is that the BMXers are taking on Big Air. For those of you who aren't skate dorks, Big Air was invented, I think um, 2 X-Games ago, or at least that's the first time they had it. And it is fucking INSANE. The biggest ramp I have ever seen in my life, man. This year the bikers are taking it on, and I am ten kinds of scared, but I will still be watching, because—YES! It's going to fucking rule the school!!
Unfortunately, they are not showing doubles Vert on ESPN this year. This makes the baby Jesus cry. On the other hand, they are also not showing any inline skating, which makes the baby Jesus squeal with happiness.
ORLANDO, BABY: In other sports news (what? I like sports! STFU!), the National Dance Team Championships are on this weekend as well. Your tv guide will try to tell you it's "cheerleading", but it lies. It's dance team, and it's awesome, and I am totally watching that between like, moto-x races or whatever.
SEACREST, MY OTHER HERO: I listened to Seacrest's show yesterday, because Justin Timberlake was on, so of course I had to. I was surprised by how good Seacrest is. Like, he's actually a good DJ, very smooth, very put together, very prepared. And he works a LOT. He's got the radio show, plus E!News, plus Idol, plus red carpet shit. The interview was interesting. I didn't really learn anything new except that Justin really has no idea what his song is about, or rather, I get the feeling he just doesn't want to say. My favorite part went something like this:
SC: So, what's this song about?
JT: Dude, I have no idea. Yo.
SC: Okaaaaay. *quotes the bridge, and man, it is disturbing to hear Seacrest talk about getting whipped, for so many reasons* So what's that mean?
JT: *giggles* It's kinda obvious. Yo.
SC: …okay then.
Seacrest, of course, did not ask about Lance. Probably because he was told not to, but also because Seacrest is the biggest "closeted" gay out there now that Lance came out. Okay well, possibly Clay Aiken, but they're pretty much the same thing anyway.
PASSION OF THE MEL: So, Mel Gibson is a terrible person, and an anti-semite. In case you hadn't realized that before, from, you know, when the Jews killed Jesus and stuff. Film at 11.
YOU TOO CAN BE A PUSSY: Apparently what the Pussycat Dolls really need is a seventh member, which is why they're holding a "talent" competition on a new CW show to find the next Doll. Um. Okay first off, how many Pussycats is too many? When do they officially become a troup, and how can I join? I mean, I can't sing, but somehow, I don't think that's actually a requirement. I will be watching this show. Even if Nicole was my least favorite member of Eden's Crush, how can I not watch this show? It's impossible.
BACKDOOR BITCH: Okay, y'all, the shit is going DOWN on Big Brother. I hate to admit it, but I'm sort of kind of starting to actually like and respect Chill Town. In the past week they have managed to break up the S6 alliance and turn the Floaters and S6 against each other. Will totally played both Janelle AND James, got the focus off of Chill Town. I'm just. AMAZED. I mean, James was right, obviously, that Chill Town needed to go. Because Will is dangerous as hell. I mean, you can't trust a man who gives himself Botox. Sorry Janie, but I actually think Will fucked you over big time, and you totally let him.
PROJECT CRAZY: Meanwhile on Project Runway, ( the shit really hit the fan, holy crap. )
KIT CAR ON: So Joey Fatone of *nsync fame was on Cribs this week. And damn. He has a really nice house. Like, ridiculously nice. His pool? Has CAVES. Yeah. With televisions in them. And a diving cliff. And some sort of grilling bar thing. It is fucking insane. He also has a Kit Car. As in, one of the cars they used in Knight Rider. Joey? Is a dork. HUGE dork. Mainly because he thinks the Kit Car is the coolest thing ever. He also has an entire room dedicated to Superman, but really, the Kit Car was more ridiculous to me. I wish there was a way I could like, teach celebrities how to be responsible citizens of the world. Because like, okay. It's great to have a gillion exotic crazy cars and maybe drive them once in a while. But for daily use, they should all be driving hybrids. I don't care if they can afford high fuel prices. That's not the issue. It's all about emissions and lessening your impact. So, have as many tiny dick cars as you want, but when you drive? Do it responsibly. Or better yet, give up the tiny dick cars and invest that money into figuring out how to convert switchgrass into fuel. They all need to see An Inconvenient Truth, for serious. And also, whoever invented the Hummer limosine? Should be shot.
IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY: I saw It's Always Sunny in Phildelphia last night for the first time ever. This show is freaking hilarious. Best thing I have seen in a really long time. I can't really describe it, but the episode title should be enough: "The gang finds a dead guy in the bar." It's sort of like Clerks, but in a bar instead of a convenience store. The best line of the episode after, in which the characters visit their grandfather in the nursing home? "It seems like a waste of a perfectly good Nazi uniform."
And that's it for Friday is Shiny, because I still haven't caught up on Entourage yet. Sorry kids.
- Mood: cheerful
SPACE COWBOY RIDES: So the big news of the week is, of course, Lance Bass's big Coming Out. I'm so incredibly happy for him even though he was pretty much forced out, but even so, the fact that he says he feels happier and more liberated than he's ever been—that makes it worth it, really. My roommate and I toasted Lance last night with red champagne (highly appropriate), and I can only hope he is similarly celebrating somewhere.
mostlikely2 sent me a link to the funniest article title so far: Lance Bass Is Gay, the Rest of NSync Apparently Are Not. ( There are three issues at stake here, really, with the whole coming out deal. )
I'm terribly excited for Justin's TRL appearance on Monday. And I will be picking up the issue of People today at lunch, so I haven't read it yet, but YAY!! Congratulations Lance! Also on the hot boyfriend, even if he does have a weird name. I also very much enjoyed John Stewart's coverage of Lance's Big Gay Come Out on The Daily Show last night: "Lance Bass—gay at 27." And if y'all have not seen this particular piece of awesomeness, go check it out. An ad in which Lance plays spin the bottle with his band and Britney. Because—yes!
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE: Andrew Lloyd Webber, in an attempt to ruin one of the greatest musicals about Nazis and nuns ever, is staging a revival of The Sound of Music in London. Originally Scarlett Johanson was set to take on the role of Maria, but she pulled out because of something about "her people" and demands, typical star bullshit. But like, okay, really? Can Scarlett even sing? Or is this like when Madonna tried to play Evita and they ended up having to rearrange half the music because she doesn't have even close to Patty LuPone's range?
How do you solve a problem like Scarlett? By making a reality tv show in which the winner will get the role of Maria, of course. Man, I love the entertainment industry, really, I do.
BREAKING RECORDS: So the heat wave in California has killed 100 people so far, and I'm sure there'll be like, crazy fires and shit too (although really, you pussies, Texas is that hot all the friggin' TIME), but what's really important is that it's dehydrating Lyndsay Lohan so much that it's interfering with her party schedule. I am Jack's utter lack of caring.
SHE'S TOXIC: Apparently when her staff is lazing around with her already lazyass husband, Britney has the nerve to fire them. The horror! Seriously, Pool Guy? If you're not doing your job, you deserve to get fired. And don't try to complain about how Britney treats her K-Fed, because dude, he would be nothing without her. She got him a record contract (ergh), she made him famous, she supports him and births his babies and does his laundry barefoot while singing Loretta Lynn songs and gently weeping through her mascara. So don't be dissing my Britney. Even Justin wants to "see her win," although his statement that she's "very clever" sort of leads me to believe that he… is not. Bag of bricks for brains, but man. In a very pretty package.
BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?: Oh man. SO. Big Brother is really starting to piss me off. Don't get me wrong, I still love Janie and Kayser, but okay, the whole tactic of taking out the floaters?? IS DUMB. Get rid of frigging Chill Town, y'all! What are you thinking?? Or maybe I'm just bitter because I liked Jayce, and Will's tactic (while hilarious and ballsy) was so incredibly transparent that they should've gotten rid of him based on that move alone. I think though, his downfall is going to be Janie. Because he underestimates her the way everyone does, even after seeing the show last year. No one ever thinks Janie is a threat, and then she wins competition after competition and totally kicks ass because she isn't the pretty dumb thing people think she is.
My favorite part, however, was Jayce's disappointment that James betrayed him, and Julie Chen saying, "Did you WATCH the show last year??" Heeee. I love you, Julie Chen.
AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO: This week's Project Runway featured the designers having to design around dogs. And not just any dogs, but those super tiny, overbred dogs that are too small and dumb to live. You know the kind I mean. ( And man, did the crazy totally go down. ) Also, does anyone know where Michael Kors is? Not that I don't like Vera Wang, but she's soooooo boring in comparison to Michael's bitchiness.
And I think that might actually be all I watched this week. For some reason Sarah and I both neglected to tape the Hills, and I haven't caught up on Entourage yet, so. Yeah.
- Mood: cheerful
EYE OF THE TIGER: Apparently, Britney Spears likes tigers, and William Blake. I feel weird thinking that Britney has actually read Songs of Innocence/Experience, but then I guess she's probably not actually retarded, she just acts that way on tv.
DRUGS DON'T WORK: So yeah, I'm sure everyone has heard, but apparently Justin Timberlake has, in the past, partaken of drugs. Seriously, are people surprised by this confession? I mean, he's 25. He's a popstar. He's been in show business for half his life, and if you think those kids on the Mickey Mouse Club weren't smoking up every chance they got, you are fooling yourself. But no, really. I'm not particularly shocked or surprised or disappointed, and I don't think it gives him any street cred, it just makes him a little bit more normal and also makes me think he's even more arrogant that I assumed because he thinks we'll actually like, care. Huh. The only issue I have with JT admitting to his drug use and "getting trashed" is that he makes the statement that nicotine is more addictive than heroin. Which is a) not true and b) completely misses the point that heroin will kill you quicker and fuck your shit up way more effectively than nicotine. Oh, and it's illegal, and, you know—needles.
Speaking of Justin, his video for SexyBack will premier on TRL July 25th, and there will also be a Making the Video that day. YAY!!!!
ETA:
gigantic pointed me to this transcript of an interview with Justin in GQ. I'm not going to go into it because I think that a) Justin is a pretty fucked up guy b) way too obsessed with his mother c) and using Cameron to cover that fact up, among other things, but it's a good interview, even if it depresses me. I can't tell if Justin hates himself or loves himself. It seems to alternate. Self-hatred with a giant dose of arrogance. Hmmmm.ADIDAS: Which I really think is just a ploy to distract people from freaking out over the whole Lance Bass being gay thing. People act like we didn't already know he's gay, but you know, whatever, I guess the whole fourth of July P-Town excursion with Reichen gives people hard evidence. Hehe, I said hard. It's exciting though, the idea that maybe he's going to come out at long last. Like I said before, I hate the idea of the press/media forcing someone to come out, it's totally a personal decision and one he should make for the right reasons, but as the Washington Post guy said, you don't go to the gayest city in America on the gayest day of the year with a super gay former reality tv show winner and expect that people aren't going to notice. Maybe Lance assumes that we just don't care about him now that *nsync is no longer and, you know, he was just the dorky bass behind and to the right of Justin, but we do! We love you, Lance! We will love you more if you are actually gay, and then we will write stories about how hard it is for a gay boy, because—yes.
2GETHER: And finally, in my last bit of *nsync news (I can't help it if they are trying to get as much attention as possible, they are greedy, greedy men) JC Chasez will release his second solo album this fall, on which will appear a track written and produced by Justin. EEEEEE!! You know what would be the best thing ever? If they toured together. OMG.
K-FED OUT OF CONTROL: Oh yeah, baby. Kevin Federline will be performing at this year's Teen Choice Awards. You can bet your ass I am tivoing that shit.
SURILICIOUS: Sigh. I wish people would stop freaking out and coming up with crazy conspiracies re: the existence of Katie Holmes's baby. It makes me sad. I miss the Katie I knew, who was nice and didn't care that I hated her cousin Brandon because he was a jerkface and friends with Derek who sexually harassed me in physics class. Bah.
NICE TIME FOR A: So Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock got married. I wonder what she calls him in bed? Or maybe not… didn't she leak a sex tape of her and Tommy Lee last time she got married? *vomits*
MAKE IT WORK: I watched things this week! Project Runway is back and it's awesome! I mean, the clothes suck so far, but the people making them kind of rock. After two episodes, my initial impressions are that I like almost everyone except um, crap. I don't know people's names yet. I don’t like tattooed neck guy at ALL. I thought I would, because I liked his clothes in the casting episode, but he's an assface. Anyone who uses the word 'feminazi' should be shot. In the face. Dick Cheney would probably be up for it. I also don't like the guy who won the challenge first week, with the blue dress? And also, I heard a rumor from Jacob that he's going to get kicked off the show for copying designs from a runway show for his portfolio. So that'll be fun.
But really, ( I think that Malan is probably the most pathetic, depressing person I have ever seen in my life. )
THE FORCE IS STRONG: Meanwhile on Big Brother, Kayser is turning into some kind of pansy ass. I mean, unless he's got something awesome up his sleeve and I'm just too dumb to figure it out, what the fuck is he thinking?? He should've convinced what's her name, Nice Rack, to use the power of veto and then put one of the Chill Town guys up. Because they are the threat, they are going to work against the S6ers as hard as they can. I thought Kayser was playing it smart. I thought he was sticking to his deal so that he could get one of them during the veto round and for sure get them kicked out. But no. Damnit. I haven't watched last night's episode yet, but I hear James is HoH. Which—SCORE. James has balls. James will fuck shit up, for serious. Man, I love this show. I'm also kind of rooting for Jayce. I didn't watch that season, but he seems pretty crafty and awesome. He and James would totally rule the school if they got together. But mostly, I love Howie. I love Howie teaching people how to be Jedi and trying to make out with the Evil Doctor, and I love Julie Chen for calling him out on it. Heeeee.
THE HILLS ARE ALIVE: Have not yet watched this week's The Hills, but I have to say that I love all the shit going down with Lauren and Assface. I can't even remember his name and I watched 2 seasons of Laguna Beach with him in it! The thing about Lauren is that she's awesome and she knows when guys are dicking her around (unless they are Steven, and then she just doesn't care). So I think that'll end soon. I also really adore Heidi and how retarded she is, but also how when her boyfriend is a jerk, she totally is like, "Don’t talk to me that way!" She rules. She may be dumb, but she doesn't take shit, that's for sure.
ALL GAY ALL THE TIME: That seemed to be the theme of the season finale of My Life on the D-List, but also of Kathy Griffin's life in general. First she met up with her biggest fan and his friends, all gay boys, who complained that Kathy likes Lance Bass better than them (maybe because he's awesome and a cosmonaut, fuckers) and tried to trash the hotel room she got to redesign in her honor. Then she went to Vegas and hung out with Johnny Weir, who is totally adorable. He's all, "I win national champions, bitches!" Man, I love him. Then she hung out with the Queer Eyes. And okay. The hair one? They guy who makes them buy product and stuff on the show?? WAY hotter on Kathy's show than on actual Queer Guy. Dear lord, that man is attractive. Hey! Maybe Kathy can introduce him to Lance. Hmmm. Reichen seems like a jerkface, I think it's a great idea. YES.
THERE ARE MANY COPIES: And they CLEARLY have a plan!!! EEEE!!!! I cannot contain my excitement for the preview trailer for next season of Battlestar Galactica. We watched it about 10 times at Jacob's last night, it's so good!!! OMG, Starbuck has a KID. From when the cylons stole her ovaries!! And um. UM. MAN. It looks so good. I cannot even contain my joy.
I think that's it for Friday is Shiny. I haven't seen Entourage in a while, need to download that shit, and also the new season of Doctor Who. Hurrah for Friday!
- Mood: cheerful
Except for the part where he totally is.
Poor Lance. I wish he had gotten to go to space. I saw a clip of him on the Sharon Osbourne show all half-naked in bed and then he spoke Russian, it was pretty hot. If he comes out he will totally beat JC as my new favorite *NSYNC member. The funny thing is, I'm all, "OMG I love that Lance is gay, he should totally flaunt it and I will love him more fangirl squeeeee!!" but if you read the comments on that perez hilton gossip site, some of the fans are super mean about it and super defensive all, "Lance is my one true love and he is not gay you're going to hell for even suggesting such blasphemy OMG."
So. HUH. It just never occured to me that fangirls would like, WANT *nsync members to be straight. Yeah, maybe my viewpoint is a little...skewed.
ETA: In my attempt to find nosejob Lance pictures, I ran across this article about Lance decorating for Christmas, comments to which include the amusing, "I wonder what JC Chasez's house looks like--SUPER GAY!" but the even BETTER: "Wow, he makes Jensen Ackles look straight."
- Mood: cheerful
dazifudo and I drank a bottle of wine during so I was a little drunk, but even so, SO GOOD. I love Kayser. I can't wait for the S6 Alliance to take the rest down. Those motherfuckers better watch their backs when Janie attacks, hells yeah. Plus. PLUS. Howie, omg. I love him totally crushing on Dr Arrogant Whatshisface, and going in for the kiss and Dr A totally getting freaked about it. SO GOOD. In conclusion:
01. I ♥ Howie
02. And Janie and Kayser
03. And to a lesser extent James, because is crafty like a crafty thing
04. And Justin, for writing such a gay-ass song
05. And X-Tina, for being totally amazing
06. I also kind of like the Paris Hilton song, damnit. Which makes me hate myself. More.
07. COCK.
- Mood: cheerful
CAN I VOTE FOR GORE?: The Emmy nominations are in, and I am less than enthused. All the usual suspects got nods, no one that I really care about pretty much at all, except, okay, seriously, Whoever It Is That Nominates People? Are you telling me that Jeffrey Dean Morgan does NOT deserve a nomination for best guest star? After I saw that I stopped reading the list, because that is just fucking ridiculous. I watched Grey's Anatomy for that man! And I have no interest in watching it now that he's dead, or seeing episodes before he showed up. So he should get a fucking Emmy, damnit! I mean, Christ. Gina Davis got nominated for Commander in Chief, which has been CANCELED, and yet. *stabs Emmy people*
MY LIFE ON THE D-VORCE LIST: Shhh, I know, terrible pun. But it looks like Kathy Griffin is getting a divorce. Apparently, Matt stole like $70,000 from her. I'd divorce his ass too, even if he DID go to Iraq with me and do my hair. Actually, I think the hair thing is really more of a punishment, because. Have you seen the way he does it?? Has she??? You'd think that would actually be her first clue that he obviously hates her guts.
THE INVISIBLE CHILD: No, I'm not talking about that Lifetime movie about the woman who claims to have a child that only she can see, inexplicably starring that guy who plays Jack Bristow on Alias and the girl who plays George Michael's Christian girlfriend on Arrested Development. I'm talking about the rumors US magazine is spreading (and I also saw it on E!News, so it must be true) about the alleged existence of the TomKitten. Okay seriously? Now this is just getting cruel. She was obviously pregnant. She had the baby. Maybe, just maybe, she doesn't want her baby in tabloids. Maybe Tom Cruise is a cult leader keeping her holed up in some basement bunker waiting for Xenu to destroy the unfaithful. But really it doesn't matter. It's a baby. It probably looks like every other baby ever. Small and red and snotty. Oooh, unless it's a black baby. That would explain a LOT.
SEE THESE SHACKLES?: So I know most of you have already heard the new Justin Timberlake single, SexyBack. But in case you haven't, head over to Justin's website and give it a listen. Or peruse my friend's list, because at least 5 of you uploaded it.
I like it. At first, I was sort of eh. Not because of the song, which I actually think is fantastic and makes me want to dance around and I could listen to it 907384 times and not get sick of it. But because I didn't hear any of Justin in it. Like. Is his voice even ON this single? I can't tell. I'm sure it must be. I'm sure it's just super over-produced and hence unrecognizable as Justin. Which I don't really have a problem with, except that I (unlike, apparently, the rest of the free world) actually like Justin's voice and his falsetto, so the lack there, well. I'm definitely feeling it. But I do love the song, I love that Justin is trying to be dirty. It's like when JC tries to be straight, or Courtney Love tries to be sober—always good for an ironic laugh. But then again—can there be a song called FalsettoBack?
I've also heard rumors he's already planning his next album, before this one even drops. And that he and JC have been in the studio together. But he's not saying anything because he doesn't want to "jinx" it. *prays for an NSYNC comeback tour*
BUT BACK IN TEXAS: Speaking of boybands, I went to the Boy Band Sing Along again last night. It was amazing as always, and they are doing it again in September, so I'll definitely be back for more. But. Also? Quentin Tarantino was there. No, seriously. Quentin was at the Boy Band Sing Along. Now, he loves the Drafthouse (where the sing along is held) and he has a film festival there every year where he shows his favorite Kung Fu movies and talks about them and stuff. But that does not explain him being at the Boy Band Sing Along. Unless, you know, he loves boys dancing sexy in the rain as much as we do.
FLANNEL IS BACK: I didn't watch much this week, even with the new DVR, just because, um, I suck and stuff. And it was a holiday weekend! And nothing was on! But I did happen to catch VH1's Storytellers with Pearl Jam. It was good, I never really knew that 'Better Man' was about um, abusive relationships, which probably explains why when I put it on a tape for one of my boyfriends, he was very offended and wanted to know if I hated him. Ooops. But Eddie Vedder is pretty amazing, and I do love that he still wears flannel like it's 1994.
ENTOURAGE, BITCH: I finally caught up on Entourage. Man, I love this show. The season premier left me kind of cold, but it's gotten so good since then. I love that they're showing way more Ari, because he really is the best character on the show. Vince isn't annoying me as much either. And you know, I used to be an E fangirl, but I really really love Turtle right now. But you know, it's not a show where things really happen, which is cool with me, I'm not in it for the plot or the stimulating conversation.
And that's all, because yes, I suck, and I didn't go to Jacob's this week so I didn't really watch anything and yeah. But! Tonight I think we are going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest so that'll be exciting. Wooo!
In conclusion: on my way to work I tried to listen to my mp3 player, and it seems to suddenly be broken. Like, it turns on, the welcome menu appears, and then it freezes. It won't turn off, or go to the playlist, or play anything. Anyone have any ideas? And if not, recommendations for new mp3 players? I don't need a lot of space, I actually love my 256meg one because I tend to fixate on a set of like 15 songs and just want to listen to them over and over.
- Mood: cheerful
