Fairy Tale

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: Adult

Warnings: THIS IS CRACKFIC. Like, if you ever doubted what constitutes crackfic, THIS IS IT. Also, MRPEG. But this isn't your grandpa's MPREG. This is a very ~special kind of MPREG that must be read to never be believed. It is honestly the weirdest, most insane, and possibly most hilarious thing I have ever written, and YES, that is saying something after The One Where They Are Animals In A Zoo.

Comments: Firstly, a thousand million thanks to the fantastically talented merihn, who made me the delightful banner. Seriously, it is the most awesome art I have ever gotten because it is so completely perfect for this story and, I think, totally embodies the spirit of the fic. Secondly, thanks to madame_d and miss_begonia for attempting to come up with some sort of constructive criticism on this (but I do think the ending is better now!). And lastly, thanks to everyone at Twitter for chiming in with their opinions on crack being WACK. Written for aificathon with the prompt: "a non-AU Kradam crack!fic. Kris gets pregnant with Adam's baby. After that, go crazy with it." AND I DID.

Kris, it turns out, is kind of a slut. Not in practice, because the whole accidental not-sponge-worthy gay sex really was the first and only time Kris cheated, but in spirit, Kris is a total tramp. Most people would call him a flirt and say he doesn't mean any of it, he's just teasing, but Kris knows that in his heart where he can't ever lie because that's where Jesus lives--he means every word, and if he hadn't promised Katy to be faithful in front of his parents and God and everyone, it's seriously likely that he would be a lot sluttier in practice. Because Jesus maybe lives in his heart, and that helps with resisting the impulses to get jiggy with it, but Kris is pretty sure that Lucifer or, at the very least, one of his higher-up lieutenants, has taken up residence in his dick. Jesus is a busy dude, he can't always be hanging out in Kris's heart, helping him fight temptation, but Satan has like a gillion minions and can totally afford to dedicate one solely to Kris's dick, especially when Kris is in this vulnerable position of constant blue balls. It's not Kris's fault he's a harlot. The devil made him do it. QED.

( Kris does not actually have a uterus, no matter how often Matt implied so during the tour. )

*

Continue reading if you dare: Part 2, Electric Boogaloo

Little Lies

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: some Adam/Kris-ish stuff, but mostly just David Cook
Rating: Adult

Comments: Written on request for musicboxgirl's birthday! She wanted kradookam, but what she's getting is 4000 words about David Cook. Yeah, I don't know! This is my first (and possibly only) attempt at Cook. I've never read Cook fic even, so if I am doing it wrong, I seriously apologize times a million. I love Cook a lot, and he got me a little carried away. And I know, everyone is probably calling their fic 'Little Lies' now, but whatever, it fits too perfectly to not.

Summary: David isn't a lover or a hater, he's more of an abstainer, withholding of all opinions as beneath his notice, which is why it comes as a surprise to him when he realizes that he very strongly dislikes Adam Lambert. He maybe even hates the guy. He looks at Lambert in his stupid eyeliner and even stupider outfits, watches him on TV every week and thinks, that guy is such a fucking douche.

( It feels like he's getting away with something. )

The Rescue Blues

Fandom: AI8
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: Adult

Comments: Many many MANY thanks to miss_begonia and madame_d for their help and patience with this story, and for fixing my many grammatical errors and plot holes. Written for the stori_telling challenge with the prompt Married to A Stranger: Jaclyn Smith plays an amnesiac who thinks she's only 16. Now she must decide between pursuing a dream to travel Europe or staying with her hubby and kid whom she doesn't even recognize! This story does not contain Jaclyn Smith or, well, most of the elements of that movie, but there is amnesia. And anarchists. I owe a debt of gratitude to callmesandy, who wrote the best amnesia fic ever, Your Life Is Now, and from which I had to concentrate very hard on not stealing. Also, there is a music mix in case you want to listen while you read.

Warnings: Recreational drug use, alcohol, and sex.

Summary: He was twenty-two years old, and the only thing he knew about himself for sure was that he was never getting on a motorcycle again, but he kind of wanted to write a song about it. He could already hear the melody in his head. Kris gets lost, and Adam finds him. An amnesia AU. OR IS IT.

( The thing about amnesia is that the person Kris knows least about is always himself. )

*

the continuing saga in: part 2

Kris & Adam's Infinite Playlist

Fandom: American Idol RPF
Pairing: Kris/Adam
Rating: R

Notes: So quiet000001 requested a drabble in which, "Adam/Kris, some kind of AU where they're both single and Kris is bi." And I started to write. And then it got long. And now it's 1100 words and would take three comments to post, so instead it gets it's own little dealie.

Premise shamelessly stolen from Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist (the book, not the movie, which I haven't seen.)

( And in his imagination, Adam is the sort of guy that Maxwell Demon would snort lines of coke off of. Well, he's wearing glitter eyeshadow, anyway. To a ska show. )

One of Those Prisoner People

Fandom: pop
Pairing: it's britc, bitch!
Rating: Adultish

Warnings: Depictions of mental illness; allusions to past trauma (ie Sam Lutfi)

Comments: Written for the annual word2urmomma challenge, which is still the best challenge around, even if I am the lone participant. Many thanks to sylum_tru and kira_j for the betas. Sometimes I listened and sometimes I didn't, so all remaining stupidness is my fault.

( His hand is lying palm up on the table like he's about to get a reading, and there are words scrawled in black between the creases of his skin, things he wants to remember, things he can't forget. You trace the delicate blue stream of vein along the inside of his wrist and frown, trying to make out the smudged black words, but all you can see is, I'm telling you stories, which doesn't seem like something he'd need to remember in the first place. Everyone is telling stories. )

Later Days

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult

Warnings: recreational drug use

Comments: So originally, I was writing this for spn_j2_bigbang. But then I lost my inspiration and, well, I couldn't write the story I was planning to write. More on that later. For now I need to thank wendy, babyofthegroup, and madame_d for their kind words, attempts to help, and helping me see that I don't owe anyone a love song story. Also thanks to llamabitchyo and kira_j for their input and for telling me this totally makes sense, even if it doesn't.

( Author's notes. )

*

( Jensen's only been in love twice before, and only the once that he'll actually admit to anyone but himself, but he knows what this feeling is. He smiles to himself and thinks, third time's the charm. )

Selfish
the one where JC is a selfish asshole and he knows it

Fandom: popslash
Pairing: jc/lance
Rating: Adultishy
Comments: This is for llamabitchyo, who requested bassez and something about shoes (but probably just Lance's missing shoe during that one dance he did), for her birthday, which I think was actually a couple months ago. BUT. I did write it! Better late, etc etc. Also, there aren't really shoes, but the theme, it is there. And thanks to everyone who commented on what asshole shennanigans JC would get up to. It was very inspiring!

( The best part about this new selfish asshole philosophy is that nothing is ever his fault; it's just other peoples' inability to understand. )

Papa Was A Rodeo

Fandom: popslash
Pairing: JC/Chris
Rating: Adult
Comments: Written for Make the Yuletide Gay as a present for the lovely and talented musicboxgirl, with many thanks to my betas: wendy, madame_d, llamabitchyo, and nopseud. Special thanks to Wendy for telling me that this is the first popslash fic she's really connected with in a long time, which made it all worth it.

Summary: JC and Chris get married, have kids, and move to Connecticut. Also, there's a reunion. No, really.

( Chris always says they ended up together because Lance wouldn't have either of them, but that's not really how JC thinks of it. )

*

Continue on to part two.

Dear Goodbye

Fandom: popslash
Pairings: Justin/Nick, Justin/Chris
Rating: Adult
Notes: Written for bittybang!

( Cut for my beautiful artwork, omg. )

Comments and Acknowledgments
I have a lot of people to thank. First and foremost, my betas: wendy (for being willing to read it at all); kira_j, who is responsible for everything awesome and gorgeous about this fic, including some of my favorite lines, and who read it probably more times than I did in various incarnations; to musicboxgirl, who probably had no idea what she was getting into, offering to read this, and who caught some very glaring concept errors; and to llamabitchyo for giving me a wonderful beta, for thinking this is any good, and for listening to me whine. I also want to thank vaudevilles, who beta'd the ficlet this originally stemmed from and really helped me flesh out this world and these ideas at the very beginning. And of course, thanks to bubbleforest for running the challenge, and to semijocund, who did my artwork! I want to add here that this poor woman had to sit through me trying to figure out what the hell I was going to call this fic. I just couldn't decide on a title. I had extreme title angst. Ugh.

Warnings
I started writing this before I watched Generation Kill, but once I had, I realized I needed to go back and really try to capture the language and the peculiar culture of the marines. As a result, there's probably a few things you might not get, so for your edification, here's the wiki of marine corps acronyms and phrases. Most notably: "oscar mike" = on the move, FUBAR = fucked up beyond all recognition, and so on. There's some strong language in this fic that might be offensive. They're marines. That's just how they talk, so please don't hate me forever. Stay frosty, y'all. ( Spoilery warnings; please read if you have triggers relating to PTSD. )

This is probably the hardest story I have ever written. By which I mean, it was hard for me to write, and I think it's not that easy to read either. I have never felt so much angst about a fic, or so much nervousness. I am, honestly, genuinely freaked out by it. But I also kind of love it and I think it's one of the best things I've ever written, so I hope you all kind of love it, too.

Justin remembers the sand most of all. Miles and miles of it, the lightest tan, coarse and grainy, extending in all directions to meet the fluorescent blue of the sky at the horizon in an endless line that waved in the heat of the desert sun. He remembers the dirt roads between villages and the only slightly better roads between cities; he remembers that first sip of water, sweet and cold, the best damn thing he ever tasted even after only ten minutes under the sun. He remembers riding in the back of the jeep, pressed hip-to-knee with his company and wondering if today was the day they'd all get fucked to hell by a roadside bomb.

But mostly, Justin remembers the sand. The sand, and Nick.

Dear Goodbye
+Part 1: Stay Frosty
+Part 2: All the King's Men
+Part 3: Semper Fidelis
+Artwork: Dear Goodbye, the Art by semijocund
+Fanmix: A Fine Dusting of Sand

Note: Please read the warnings on the index page if you are a person who needs warnings!

Dear Goodbye
Part 1: Stay Frosty

Justin remembers the sand most of all. Miles and miles of it, the lightest tan, coarse and grainy, extending in all directions to meet the fluorescent blue of the sky at the horizon in an endless line that waved in the heat of the desert sun. He remembers the dirt roads between villages and the only slightly better roads between cities; he remembers that first sip of water, sweet and cold, the best damn thing he ever tasted even after only ten minutes under the sun. He remembers riding in the back of the jeep, pressed hip-to-knee with his company and wondering if today was the day they'd all get fucked to hell by a roadside bomb.

But mostly, Justin remembers the sand. The sand, and Nick.

*

( JC hands him a joint and says, 'Man, you need to learn how to relax.' )

*

Links: Part 2: All the King's Men | Part 3: Semper Fidelis | artwork by semijocund | Fanmix: A Fine Dusting of Sand | Index: Dear Goodbye

Dear Goodbye
Part 2: All the King's Men

In the eleventh grade Justin took an anatomy class. It was the sort of class where you spent all your time in the lab dissecting dead cats because supposedly, cats were the closest thing to people the biology department could get approved, even at TAMS. But one day they got to go over to the medical school and observe the med students working on cadavers. Justin could see everything inside the man they were working on—organs and bones and ligaments and bits he couldn't even name but should probably know anyway. Later, they were supposed to write a paper comparing cat anatomy to human anatomy and talk about their evolutionary similarity and all Justin could think was, that's not what people are made of.

( In Iraq it was easy to see what people were made of, and it had nothing to do with the parts involved. )

*

Links: Part 1: Stay Frosty | Part 3: Semper Fidelis | artwork by semijocund | Fanmix: A Fine Dusting of Sand | Index: Dear Goodbye

Dear Goodbye
Part 3: Semper Fidelis

When Justin got back from the desert, they let him go to Florida to give Nick's family the news. Justin wanted to do it; he said he was fine with how things went down but he needed to be the one to tell them about Nick. They lived in small, rundown house on the outskirts of Jacksonville, and the heat here was nothing like the desert, air so thick with water it felt like Justin was drowning just to step outside. A small blond boy and a dark-haired girl were playing on the over-grown front lawn, chasing each other through one of those tall, waving sprinklers like the kind Justin's mom used to water her garden with and shrieking every time they ran through the jets of water falling back and forth over the tall grass. Justin's dress uniform was hot and itchy, tight around the neck and he thought, this was a bad idea. He thought, nothing good will come of this.

( The kids ran up to him, stopping short a few feet away to stare at his dress blues and the medals pinned to his chest, the girl a little farther back than the boy, her long dark hair covering half her face. )

*

Links: Part 1: Stay Frosty | Part 2: All the King's Men | artwork by semijocund | Fanmix: A Fine Dusting of Sand | Index: Dear Goodbye

Because I am me and I always have a soundtrack when I'm writing, I made a mix. These are the songs I was listening to during the ridiculously long process of writing Dear Goodbye. First, watch this video, because yes:



And now you are ready for the music! Enjoy.

( Track listing. Yes, there are 22 songs. Hush. )

So I was talking with randomling yesterday and she was telling me all about the porn she is planning on writing, and it was decided that I should make a list of awesome popslash porn. So! Here it is. I will not go into detail about why each fic is awesome. It's just a list. But I will choose a quote that demonstrates said awesomeness. To view the list without my commentary, here's my pornish delicious tag.

( In no particular order, here, have some porn recs. )

And there are a few more on my list but I am out of time at work. TIME FOR HOME. So, enjoy your porn!

So last weekend we tested out the Make the Yuletide Gay website with a little mini-exchange of our own, and this was the result.

No Mer About It

Fandom: Popslash
Pairing: AJ/Nick
Comments: Written for ephemera_pop with the prompt: AJ/Nick or Chris/Joey, "mermaids! Or, you know, mermen. Please?" So I tried. And um, it's crack. In case you doubted it.

Further comments: My favorite movie as a 10-12 year-old girl was The Little Mermaid and it was also the movie that made me realize that I'm bisexual, because I had such a huge crush on my best friend and we used to take turns playing the Prince statue/Ariel. We'd play the tape of Ariel singing "Part of Your World" while we were in the pool and um, yeah. Anyway, enough about my childhood lesbian shennanigans.

( Now that King Lou-tron had destroyed the only thing worth living in AJ's life, his Prince Nick porn statue, AJ thought it couldn't possibly matter how horrible and mean and bitchy JCsilla was. JCsilla could make him into a proper maid, no mer about it, and if AJ had legs and an ass, maybe Prince Nick would be interested in him and stuff. )

Carpenters and Sons

Fandom: popslash
Pairings: Genish, Nick
Comments: boomingvoice asked for a Nick something-or-other in the style of JD Salinger, and this is what came out. I am not sure it's successful, but I think we can all see the Holden Caufield in Nick Carter, so um. Yeah.

( She climbs on top of him and Nick lies flat on the carpet, arms stretched out to feel the fabric squirm and slide between his fingers and against the bare skin of his back like a restless animal, like a creature trying to crawl inside him. )

Bon-Bon Fire of the Vanities

Fandom: popslash
Pairing: JuC
Rating: Inappropriate
Comments: Another JuC Swap fic, this one written for micha with the prompt: boarding school. Many thanks to randomling and wendy for giving me helpful pointers on this. I am really happy with how this turned out and I hope my recipient liked it, too!

Warnings: Underage sex, alcohol, and recreational drug use.

( OMFG! It's highly inappropriate! It's your parents' worst nightmare! It's... a Gossip Girl AU. )