You guys, I don't think I even have words to describe how incredibly fucking happy and excited and OMGOMGOMG this makes me:





It's Britney (bitch) singing 'You Oughta Know'. YES. AND SHE IS SINGING LIVE. And she sounds amazing. I told you guys she could sing! What better song for Britney could there possibly be? She should record a version of this because, just. YES. It applies to Britney in so many ways, it's ridiculous: "An older version of me? / Is she perverted like me? / Would she go down on you in a theater? / Does she speak eloquently? / And would she have your baby? / I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother."

Before y'all jump on the "OMG SHE'S NOT OVER JUJU" train, note that she's probably talking about KFed, if, you know, she's directing the song toward anyone at all, because this IS Britney, after all, and, well. It's Britney.

If it was directed at Justin, though, I would just like to say that it totally PWNs his "Rehab" covers from when he was on tour and Britney was having mental breakdowns everywhere. I never thought I'd say this but... Britney's bitter is so much classier than Justin's. LOL FOREVER.

In other news, I finished my first draft of my fic for aificathon. And dear lord, people, it is the craziest shit I have ever written. Crazier that 'Mean Boys' AND the zoo fic, although less of a mind fuck, I think. mehrin has made me some amazing art that I am a million times excited about, and musicboxgirl has been helping me with a soundtrack which now somehow includes White Zombie, Enya, Pearl Jam doing a Live cover, and Miley Cyrus. I TOLD YOU IT WAS CRAZY! Just waiting for my betas to get back to me (although I'm pretty sure this fic is so freaky it's unbeta-able.)

Good times.

I know you all love my lists. Don't pretend that you don't, or I will have to find my way to a roof to seek some proof. Maybe the coconut ghost can explain some shit to me, who knows?

1) I just saw this and I really hope it's true. Sorry, Biel Lovers, but I was ready for that relationship to be over before it started. I don't approve of cheating, of course, but I have never been convinced that Justin and Shelfy have an actual relationship with sex and all that. I am disappointed that he cheated with someone who was not JC. Or Chris. Or Lance. But he has terrible taste. I try to find it endearing. If he breaks up with Shelfy (and watch--on Friday the gossip blogs will either report her heartbroken and cheated on with pictures of her looking like a sad fashion victim, or else Justin will be mysteriously spotted ring shopping...) maybe he will stop being boring and looking like he needs a nap, a shave, and a cheeseburger. KNOW HOPE. Juju can be saved.

2) Adam is a most eligible bachelor. FUCK YES. Now I will have to buy that fucking People because I need to add to my new Adam wall. No mocking. You would all be jealous of my Adam Wall if you could see it.

3) PLUS A CHAT!!! Chat with Adam in 15 minutes omgomgomg!! (um, assuming that's 4pm EST, and not like Pacific time, in which case... I can never figure out time difference, ugh) I hope the kids at ontd_ai actually get to ask him about coconut ghosts.

4) Did I mention yet that my best friend since I was 14 (and also my ex-boyfriend, but that was a mere 2-year blip in a 15-year friendship...) is coming to visit in August from Boston?? YAYAYAY. I'm so excited.

5) My 10,000 word AI8 fic is done. It is with my beta. I think. I'm about to poke madame_d to make sure she got it, because I am dying to know what she thinks. It's one of those, "Maybe it is awesome, maybe it sucks cold dog balls" fics. I am leaning toward awesome.

6) Remembering what an amazing film The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie is. Little girls!! I am in the business of putting old heads on young shoulders!

7) The idea that Kris Allen is possibly working with Timbaland or the Neptunes, hence his visit to Virginia Beach. If that's true, Jive is investing a fuckton of money in the boy, so maybe Slezak's conspiracy theory is unwarranted? It's hard to tell with the evil that is Jive, of course. We shall see.

Because every Mother's Day has a Mother's Night, and we allll know how much Justin loves his momma:



It would've been even better with Lynn in the video but... YES.

Dear Juju-

Thank you for once again proving me right. I WIN AT CANON. Best mother's day ever. Now I know exactly what my fic for word2urmomma will be next year.

xoxo-

me

PS - Thank you for bringing Shelfy to introduce you. That means she's doomed, right?

PPS - Thanks for the Bitsy shout out. I couldn't help but notice she was the only girlfriend specified. THAT MEANS SOMETHING RIGHT???

PPPS - Shut up, my tinhat is just shiny enough, THANKS.

1) Just watched Dead and Gone. I am more convinced than ever that I no longer find Justin attractive. I mean, I still think he's hot when I watch NSYNC footage, and Justified stuff. But right around 2004-2005, he starts to lose his hotness for me. And now it's just gone (dead and gone, oooooh.) TI, on the other hand, is a scorcher. I wish he wasn't a felon. Because wow, he's hot.

2) JC looked pretty at the fashion show. I love the sweater. I kind of want it for myself. And I like the fact that the girl he was with looks old enough to drink legally, for once. But. I miss the JC who would wear bondage vests with plaid button-downs! I miss the crazy tuxedo shirts whose structures were inconceivable to the non-Chasez brain! I MISS MY FREAK. Where has he gone, and who is this Normal in his place?

3) Can I be Lance's drunk-ass assistant? I think that would be the best job ever.

4) Dear Shelfy-

Please put on some damn makeup. You spent all that money getting your lips done. At least make it worth your while. Also, learn how to dress. And act.

no love-
me.

5) I had a dream about lecksee last night, that she was late for a dinner with Ned Lamont. Yeah, I don't know! I don't even really know who Ned Lamont is, but she was late!

6) I tried to play Sims twice yesterday, only to be denied. First, my cat decided to stand on top of my plug and shut the whole computer off. THEN, my virus-checker pulled me out of the game to inform me of updates I didn't want, and the game was like, "No, I will not be moved from this blue screen, but I will play some annoying music." I am nearly done with my house, too. GRR. ARGH. My Lynn has cornrows! I WANT TO PLAAAAY.

7) Dollhouse was okay. Battlestar, on the other hand, was fucking AMAZING OMG. WHAT ARE YOUR THEORIES???

8) Racquetball today!!!

9) And I need it, because I somehow gained 5 pounds last week. WTF.

So, it's Justin's birthday today. And every year on Justin's birthday, I celebrate by writing Justin drabbles/ficlets/whatever. And this year I especially need to cheer the fuck up and write something that is happyish and makes sense in other people's brains, too.

Therefor, give me a Justin pairing and a prompt, and I will write something that (hopefully) doesn't suck. This offer is good only on the birthday of the one and only JuJu La Timberlake, my favorite boy who wants to do his mom and choreographs his crotch grabs. He's so precious and special. Awwww.

Having watched the trailer for Powder Blue (no, I will not link it, but it's on ONTD if you really want to see it) I am going to make three statements about Jessica Biel that people might not like. So be warned:

1) She needs to eat. Seriously. I should not be able to see your ribs through your back.
2) She can't dance and she shouldn't try. When you can't even do the stripper ass-head body roll, you really suck.
3) Eventually Justin will realize that she's an embarrassment and get rid of her. At least, I HOPE. On the other hand, if he marries her, it won't be like where I can't write Joey any more because he's married. If Justin marries Jessica, that would give me more incentive to write about all the ways he cheats on her.
3.5) Also, isn't she a lesbian?

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Okay I lied. I didn't write anything down from Total Finale Live. However, I have a few things to say:

1) JC looked DAMN GOOD and for the first time in a long time, I found him attractive.

2) Seeing Justin and JC together again. *hearts* JC is the smart one! I KNOW BECAUSE JUSTIN TOLD ME. And Justin telling JC, "You look exactly the same!" (as he did during their first performance). I miss them already. *sniffs*

3) BACKSTREEEET!!! That was probably my favorite moment. Even though I knew it was pre-taped. Just seeing the crowd singing along, and even the people watching the clip outside in Times Square and in the studio... I was smiling the whole time, I'm not going to lie.

4) Howie looked fucking HOT AS FUCK OMG. How does he DO that? Sometimes he's just Howie, and kind of dorky and whatever. And then sometimes he's HOT HOWIE and I'm just all... *grabby hands*

5) Nick however... needs to gain weight? Weird! But true! He's looking a little too thin. They have such a great vibe together performing. And they sounded AMAZING and why didn't they come to Texas?? DAMN THEM. Not really. I heart them. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

6) BITSY. OMG BITSY. I kept watching after TRL ended because they started this thing about Britney and I am a sucker for anything Britney-related. Seriously, I don't know what it is about her. I've loved her since 1999. Since 'Sometimes.' I remember my sophmore year of college, I made dazifudo watch Britney Live from Hawaii with me and we had to keep messing with the antenna to get the picture to come in. And I didn't even LIKE pop music. I liked Nirvana and NIN. But I loved Britney. And I STILL love Britney.

7) I'm sure other stuff happened but those were the important parts for me. *sniffs* It's all over, folks. And I still can't believe they couldn't get Lance and Joey and Chris out there. I WANT MY BOYBAND BACK.

Justin and Britney performing on stage together with Madonna: DISCUSS.

(I still can't see how Justin would ever in a million years agree to that. Unless maybe Madonna has some serious dirt on him. Heh.)

I went to the doctor! Guess what everyone. I'm sick! Brilliant diagnosis. No actually, she said it sounds like a had a virus and caught a cough when my body was still weak, and it should go away in another week or so. She gave me a ton of sample cough syrup stuff, which is A++. So, I missed 2 hours of work and had to pay $25 for that diagnosis, and another $12 to park on campus/at work. I guess that means no going to the Drafthouse for me this weekend. *sadface* I feel like I can't spend money on anything until my credit cards are all paid off. And since I just bought my plane ticket home for the holidays, I am already all spent out for the month and it's only the 6th. Oy.

Speaking of going home for the holidays, I will be in Toledo, Ohio from December 21-December 30. I leave on Dec 31st at like 6:30am so I am not counting that. Is anyone still interested in a Sparkly Midwestern get-together? Maybe like the 27th or 28th? Let me know and we can figure something out.

YAY.

Never has my icon been more appropriate. I just read on my feed reader that Justin will be doing a free concert to open an Obama rally.

Justin is made of win. As if there was ever any doubt.

nopseud, have you seen this???:

The National Enquirer reports that Justin Timberlake is so much of a mommy’s boy that it’s preventing him from proposing to his longterm girlfriend, Jessica Biel. Apparently Jessica and Justin’s manager mom don’t get along and his mom is hanging around so much that it’s an issue. Justin’s mom still does his laundry and she often goes out with the couple. Jessica has told her beau to loosen his mommy’s apron strings, and that doesn’t sit well with his mother, who is telling him not to marry her.

Jessica let it be known to Lynn [Justin’s mom] that she was around too much, and that didn’t sit well at all with Justin’s mom, said the pal.

The blowup could not have come at a worse time.

As the Enquirer reported in June, the 27-year-old singer has hinted to friends that he planned to propose to Jessica, 26, before the end of the summer. He’s been checking out princess-cut diamond engagement rings at high-end jeweler Harry Winston.

“But Lynn thinks her son is too young to marry,” his pal said.

“Lynn is often at Justin’s home, where she insists on doing his laundry and overseeing what Jessica is cooking. She even made an appearance at Pace restaurant on June 10 while Justin and Jessica were having a romantic dinner.

“It’s created a huge dilemma for Justin.

“He is completely in love with Jessica and has every intention of marrying her, but he also adores his mom and doesn’t want to cause any waves with her.”

Now insiders say that Justin will hold off on making any wedding plans until Jessica and his mom call a truce. [From The National Enquirer, print edition, August 4, 2008]

Now I really want that fic where Justin can only get it up if Lynn is there.

I was beginning to think I'd lost all attraction to Juju La Timberlake, but then I saw these at Just Jared:



( And a few more... )

I'm still not liking his hair and the angle on that last one is a little harsh on his nose, but still. He looks good. Like, really good. Maybe it's the black and white. Everyone looks better in black and white.

I wonder what this has to do with perfume. Givichey is perfume, right?

I just wanted to point out that even Defamer thinks there's Lynncest going on:

So many issues to work on here! For one thing, Lynn Harless infamously harped on JT for dumping Britney back in the day, tsk tsking him for ruining their Mickey Mouse romance based solely around matching denim outfits. Secondly, like Piven, Timberlake is fond of producing Lynn as his awards show date, despite the fact that she insists on showing more cleavage than Dolly Parton. And after that recent Madonna diss on Ellen, in which Justin essentially bashed all women over 40, we'd like to see Seacrest help these two kiss and make up.

I AM SURE THEY WILL. Nightly.

My worlds are colliding!!!

randomling loves Justin, but she does not love R&B. I am convinced she can still enjoy Justin's solo music. Therefore, I present to you the Juppy Files. In which I explain why each Justin song is made of awesomesauce, and therefore delicious.

( Blah blah stuff. )

...or not.

Dear Justin-

Please 1) wash your hair 2) DO NOT be tucking your boots into your pants, WTF 3) cease wearing giant ugly crosses rosaries 4) stop wearing jeans washed to look like you've wet yourself.

No love-
Andrea

PS - I take it back. Keep dressing like this. I like making fun of you.

I promised trumpeterofdoom that I would make her a list of JuC recs, so that's what I'm doing! For a list of ALL my JuC recs in no particular order, just click here and skip my analysis. I might have to split the list up, because it's LONG.

( First, some thoughts about JuC, blah blah. )

Um, anyway. Onto the fics! These are divided by category.

( The Way He Knows Him: Connection and History )

( Awww, That's Adorable! )

( Out of This World: the AUs )

( Mostly for the Porn )

( OMGWTFBBQ!!: The Really Weird Shit )

( Shameless Plugging Recs )

( Other People Recommend... )
*

Wow, that's a lot of JuC. And it took about a million years.

Now, I know I've left a lot out, and that's only because I didn't have those fics bookmarked in my delicious for whatever reason. Probably because I read them before I started using delicious, or because I was lazy that day. In any case, if I've made any glaring ommissions, I would love for you to let me know. And give me links! I'll edit this post with a new category called "Other People Recommend" or something, and your picks and comments will go there, with your permission.

Updated 3/18/09. I do have Synchronik's fic saved, as it has not been uploaded on the new site yet, but I am not sure if it's allowed to be passed around.

Also!! I forgot (HOW did I forget, considering I am going to a SING ALONG tonight??), but it's Justin's birthday today! He is officially in his late 20s. Welcome to the club, baby! In celebration, I will write Justin drabbles! Give me a pairing and a prompt, and I will give you a little something to celebrate the fabulousness that is JUJU.

And for today, he can totally be my favorite! *hearts*

From Austin 360:

You read it in Out & About first: Justin Timberlake is bringing his SexyBack to Austin, booked to shoot a movie here later in January. Sources tell us he’ll stay at the Four Seasons and tool around in an SUV, but which movie will he grace?

Most likely suspect: “40 Love,” the Weezie Melancon-directed tennis comedy, which could be lifted by a Timberlake cameo. Or perhaps it’s Terrence Malick’s assuredly more serious — and secretive — “Tree of Life,” also to star Sean Penn and Heath Ledger, and slated for Central Texas production soon.

Yet another possibility: The untitled Elton John biopic that Timberlake is listed to headline. Sir Elton is big on Austin, returning frequently. Would make some sense.

One more option: “Will,” which shoots here soon and is about a battle of the bands at a high school. Vanessa Hudgens (“High School Musical”) and Liam Aiken (“Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events”) star. Casting director Beth Sepko will audition high-school-age bands Saturday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at 501 Studios, Fifth and Brushy streets. Call (512) 472-5385 ext. 1 to make an audition appointment.

...if he's here in late January, does that mean he could potentially attend his own birthday Sing Along at the Drafthouse??

JUJU!!!

(This would be better if it were JC, but STILL. Justin's not too shabby, either!)

ETA: The Four Seasons is literally 2 blocks from my house. Excuse me while I try to be all cool about this idea while secretly jumping up and down inside and wondering if it's scary stalker behavior to wander around down by 2nd Street. Ahem.

Okay, if you guys haven't read this interview posted in just_justin yet, you really need to. Everytime I think I've had it with Justin being Justin, he goes and does something so compeltely awesome and adorable and I'm back and he's owning me all over again. It is our never-ending love affair. Erm. That only I am aware of. My favorte bit:

Timbaland had mainly made hip-hop before we worked together, with Aaliyah being an obvious exception. So what I’m about to say may sound out of left field, but seriously, go back and listen to the record and it’ll make more sense. We were listening to a lot of Pink Floyd and David Bowie! I was digging on early Talking Heads and was like, “What drugs was that guy doing? I don’t want the drugs but I want the high!” For “SexyBack,” Tim and I were thinking, “What if I was Bowie, and you were David Byrne, and we did a duet? But let’s be the 2007 versions of that.” Of course there was the hip-hop influence, but I always wonder what Elvis or Sinatra or anyone else might have sounded like if they’d had the influence of hip-hop, or of a Quincy Jones.

( The rest of the interview, for posterity. OH JUJU, you dork, I love you. )

*

Now I'm just imagining JC and Justin having these intense and indecipherable conversations about music and out-geeking each other all over the place and it is SO FANTASTIC.