OMFG you guys, I can't even tell you how much this MAKES MY FUCKING DAY!!!



And now I think I need to go read Shiny Shiny Pants and Bleached Blonde Hair aka the One Where Jeff Tweedy Writes Britney/Lance fic, because YES! God, I love them.

(Wow, I just remembered that I totally wrote Britney/Lance for remix once, omg.)

In other news, just a heads up to make sure to download this week's This American Life--they're doing a follow-up to last year's "Giant Pool of Money" in conjunction with the guys over at Planet Money, and if you ever wanted to understand how the sub-prime mortgage crisis happened or why we had the economic catastrophe in the first place, "Giant Pool of Money" explains it really well and is available right here for free.

And finally, I am going to create a community this week to host the TV podcast thingy I talked about last week. The name I've thought up for it is a bit retarded though, so give me suggestions! I really really suck at naming things. (The true reason I don't write original fic. I can't NAME anything.)

Had an awesome weekend. Polvo's tonight for Eric's birthday, which means margarita and fajitas for me! YUM.

It's the day before my birthday, which means it is LANCEFACE's birthday!!! Usually I would offer Lance ficlets, but since I am still working on Time Stamps and the JuC Wedding Fic o' Doom and also reading pensnest's bittybang, I think I have enough on my plate. Like Harry Potter. Life is hard, you guys. So hard.

ANYWAY. Instead, I think a picspam is in order. *hearts* Lancface is my favorite, you know. No, really. He is! My iPod is names Lanceface. (Oh, you wish I were joking.)



( He's here, he's queer, popslash wins at canon! )

This blind item from Crazy Days & Nights pretty much screams Lance, doesn't it?:

This former boy bander has begging his former group to go out on tour again because he has no money. Some bad investments and spending a ridiculous amount on toys and gambling has left him with no money. He doesn't want to have to declare bankruptcy because then everyone will find out about who is biggest creditors are and they are not a good list.

I really don't WANT it to be Lance but... let's see. It's gotta be a boyband that was successful enough to buy "toys" in the first place. So that leaves out... mostly everyone. It's gotta be someone who keeps going on about a reunion. If it's any NSYNCer, it's gotta be Lance, because: JC is cheap and doesn't buy things unless you count clothes, Chris has regular jobs and doesn't exactly live above his means, Joey has a job, and Justin is Justin.

Meanwhile, Lance spent millions of dollars to finish his space training. I'm not sure what secrets he really has left (ie "biggest creditors") though. If this were a British blog... but well. Who else has been begging for a reunion now that NKOTB are already doing theirs?

Oh, LANCEFACE. It really would explain a lot.

...but only just.

My fever has returned full-force. I took some tylenol so hopefully it will abate overnight. My lower abdomen feels a bit tender though and now I am working about an infection of some kind :( Also, my neck is really sore. I don't think that actually has anything to do with the fever, but it's unpleasant!

This concludes my whining for today.

But I have just found out that if I stay home sick from work tomorrow, I can watch BSB on TRL!!! *ponders* The department chair did say I could go home today, so I don't think she'd have an issue with me taking off sick if I really need to. Well. I will have to see what I feel like tomorrow morning.

Also, Lance was awesome, and I immediately thought, "That outfit is totally something JC actually wore to an awards show or something!" And alas, it was Anna Ferris, not Britney in the audience. I guess if Britney Spears showed up to watch Lance dance, they'd probably make a bigger deal out of it. Oh well.

Lanceface sez:



Sign up for Make the Yuletide Gay!!! Because everyone should get to be gay during the Yuletide! Also, puppies are cute.

ETA: Just to add some substance here, I would like to discuss Miss Lacey Schwimmer, who I'd really like to smack right now. I should've known she'd fuck Lance over, considering that her favorite NSYNCer was Justin and she thinks the cornrows were COOL. Not even Justin thinks the cornrows were cool!! Can Lance get a new partner? PLEASE?

So, a couple things:

1) I am stuck at the front desk for a while today since the receptionist is out sick. BOOO. That means I can't actually do any of my work, which is actually a lot more frustrating that it sounds because I like to get things done as I am given them. Bah.

2) I'm glad Lancers is safe, but the producers need to stop trying to fuck him over. Seeing Anya and Pasha dance was great though! Anya is ridiculously sexy. I think it must just be the way she moves, because I don't particularly think she's very pretty, but DAMN. And of course... Pasha. Mmmmm Pasha. Ahem, anyway.

3) The Brian Friedman routine was pretty fucking cool. What did he choreograph for NSYNC, does anyone know?

4) Also, WOW, Jessica Simpson should never sing 'Angels' again. I thought no one could fuck it up more than Archie, and I was wrong. I know the girl can sing. I saw the Jessica and Nick Christmas special! And yet, it was horrid. I guess DWTS does not believe in autotune. Heh. I kept thinking, "JC should sing on this show. At least he'd be better than these hacks even if no one knows who he is." Sigh. I am thinking about renaming him The Fucktard, but I don't want to offend anyone.

5) Tonight I am going to look at KITTIES OMG YAY!!! I asked mitcharf of the House of Cats for advice on getting a new cat, because all the shelters require proof that your current cat has yearly vaccinations and I don't really believe in giving my cat medicine he doesn't need, blah blah. So anyway, he sent out an email to his, um, meat-for-pets co-op and he got a bunch of responses. One couple seems to sort of collect cats for a shelter, and they said I could come look at the ones they had! I'm so excited. I'm going to try to get a girl cat, because I have heard that male cats are more dominated by female cats when they're introduced into an established place. And also to avoid urinary tract issues :/

6) And then tomorrow, I am going to watch the Palin/Biden debate at the Drafthouse! So that'll be fun. Drinking will be important, for sure.

According to the folks at TwoP, upon whom I depend to be obsessively aware of every detail about their shows, the producers choose the songs they dance to for DWTS. Which means some fucktard thought it would be hilarious to give Lance that fucking horrible, insidiously homophobic song that was in NO WAY appropriate for a Pase and in NO WAY in the traditional vein that the judges are clearly looking for.

Maybe I am being overprotective, but it seems like the producers really are doing everything they can to get Lance kicked off early.

That said, I thought Toni was amazing. I had to close my eyes through a lot of Lance's performance (I have that displaced embarrassment thing) and I only just caught the end of the kiss and had to hide again. Everyone else sucked for me. I am almost hoping Lance goes home soon so I can stop watching.

*sadface*

I am way too excited about this BUT! Lancers was AWESOME!!! GO VOTE FOR LANCERS!!!

Also, fuck Len or whatever his name is, he sucks. Lance and Lacey actually have chemistry, which is pretty fucking amazing considering how bad an actor Lance is. *hearts* And I love that Lacey is really representing for the fangirls!! Her neck scarf with the glittery NSYNC on it was fabulous.

I am SO EXCITED that Lancers will be on my TV every week. And!! AND!!! His parner is Lacey! From SYTYCD!!! She performed one of my favorite Mia Michaels routines last season, which I think we should all revisit now:



LACEY!!! Cameron was soooo hot. I wonder what he's doing now. I hope Lacey's a good choreographer, because that can really make all the difference. She has a big personality. It'll be interesting to see her and Lance interact. OMG.

Secondly, last night I had a dream that Britney and Justin got back together. I KNOW, my unconscious mind is such a pathetic teenie!! I'm going to blame all the "which teen couple is the new Justin&Britney" talk re: the Jonas Brothers and their various virginal conquests. OH JOHNNY WRIGHT. You really can't teach an old dog new tricks, especially when the old tricks work so well.

A List of Random!

1) LANCEFACE on DWTS!! OMG. I really hope that's true because if so: DELIGHTFUL. I wish NSYNC fans would shut up already about how Lance "can't dance." That's blatantly false to anyone with eyes. Is he as good as Justin or JC or Joey? No. But as someone who has been dancing since the age of five, I can unequivocally say that he is better than Chris and probably 90% of humans. The guy can dance. Just watch the PopOdyssey video and STFU about how he only knows how to do the Lance dance. Yes, I am defensive of Lance's abilities, but he is Lancers and people need to stop giving him shit, damnit. I hope he gets Julianne as his dance partner. That way he will a) be awesome and b) we won't have another "OMG Julianne is totes dating her partner!" season.

Um. If this is even true.

2) I guess JC looked pretty normal last night? WTF. That's boring. That's not SPECIAL, JC. I wonder if he's going to fashion week.

3) I listened to the This American Life episode on the sub-prime mortgage crisis today, and while that may sound incredibly dull to you, I thought it was really interesting and I think I might actually understand what happened now. The moral of the story is: don't accept a loan from a banker who claims he doesn't need to see proof of income or assets because he will fuck you over to make commission so he can go out to clubs and order Crystal with Tara Reid. No, for serious. It was on NPR, so it's true.

4) JuC Swap is coming along. 14 pages! Um, I would say I'm about halfway through. I get stuck writing these long conversations and then it's 5 pages later and I've only moved the "plot" (I use the term loosely, as we all know I don't do plot) about one click farther along. Saturday after I see my cat, I am going to lock myself in my room and write until it's done.

5) So apparently, Jon Knight is gay. To which I say: um, DUH. Didn't we already know that? Also, I wish people, by which I mean grossouts, by which I mean Perez Hilton, would just leave the guy alone. If he's gay and living pretty openly with his lover and whatever, there's no story here. It reminds me of Neil Patrick Harris's interview with OUT. It's no one's business, his sexuality has nothing to do with his work or his ability to do his job, and he's a private person. I would love it if more gay celebrities came out and were open about it and advocates for GLBT causes, but no one should be forced out. And after all, it's not Jon Knight is a significant cultural figure or whatever. I mean, he's not Danny levels of boringness, but he IS the filler.

6) IT'S FRIDAY.

puszysty posted a bunch of awesome youtube vids from the same guy who did the boyband battles thing, and you should all go watch them. This is the guy that has the random posters on his ceiling that talk? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Anyway, because I can't not, here is my favorite, which is about Lancers, of COURSE:



Lance is so amazing, even in stop animation form.

And then one more, because this one is HILARIOUS:



That Christian Bale is always making everything more interesting, but really, I think AJ poses the most important question of all: Nick, when you gonna come out da closet??

In other news, I need a theme for today's picspam. Unless one of you wants to volunteer to do it?

Everyone is posting this, but there is a REASON because OMG, LANCEFACE IS FUCKING HOT.

( Just one picture of Lance with no pants is enough, really. Cut for NSFWish. )

This reminds me of a scale of hotness dazifudo and I used to use in college, to determine whether or not a guy was attractive enough. We called it being kilt-worthy. If a guy had a really good body, but mostly really great legs, we would declare him kilt-worthy. Not many men achieved this highly sought-after status. In fact, I seem to remember an entire kidnapping plot involving a stuffed walrus and a very scary third year all because one guy really wanted to be declared kilt-worthy. Needless to say, extortion is no way to achieve kilt-worthy status.

But I think that Lancers for sure deserves it. dazifudo, do you concur?

(Also, I do agree that Lance times these things for when Justin is doing promo on purpose to fuck with him. And... I APPROVE.)

...why LANCEFACE is my favorite:



Gratuitous adorableness. With PUPPIES. (Also, go Lanceface, getting his hair done! It looks cute. And the freckles. He is ridiculously adorable. JC: take note. This is how to be adorable. 1) Do not say gay rumors are annoying 2) Be gay 3) Get photographed with puppies 4) go back to your boyband hair days)

This is MY happy place. Yeah, I just said that. But it's late! And I am riding the crimson tide, so I'm allowed to be emotional and make puns!

Why Lance continues to be my favorite is easily answered with his statement to the Advocate on the gay marriage ruling in California:

I am thrilled that the California supreme court has come to realize that you can't outlaw love and has chosen to join the state of Massachusetts in setting a historical precedent in its demonstration that all loving relationships deserve the same level of respect and recognition under the law, regardless of the gender of those involved.

FOR THE FUCKING WIN.

It's the day before my birthday, which means it's LANCEFACE'S birthday!!! In celebration of Lance still being in his 20s for another year (and just because he's my favorite and awesome and did I mention AWESOME?), I will write drabbles.

You know how this works. Give me a Lance pairing and a prompt, and I will write a little something.

Reason 3498624 why I ♥ Lance Bass:


It's not embedding. DAMN IT.

OKay, since the video isn't embedding properly: here's a link.

ETA: proudhebrew found me a working code! ROCK ON:

...why Lance Bass WINS:

In light of the paparazzi explosion, especially with Britney Spears highlighting it, how do you deal with it?

You just try to lead as much of a normal life as you can and know when you go out, you are going to be photographed.

It sucks to know every move you make is going to be scrutinized. I think it's sad and also especially worse for women celebrities because they tear women apart for their weight.

This is also why LANCEFACE is my favorite. It is not possible for me to love him more. Well. Maybe a lambs sex tape would make me love him more.

JC Gets Lanced, Sort Of

Fandom: popslash
Rating: Adultish
Comments: Written because yes. Because I keep wondering what Lance thinks of all the OMG JC IS GAY rumors, and so I decided to write a little something-something about that.

( The next time it happened—Lance calling, not the phone sex thing—JC knew that Lance didn't want to hear about any of the hot mamis he'd hooked up with recently, but he still wasn't exactly clear on what Lance meant. )

That is all. Lance for the FUCKING WIN. Just ask Don Cheadle.

The Clintonian Defense

Fandom: Popslash
Pairing: Chris/Lance
Rating: Adultish
Comments: Written for TrickyFish Day, even though it is late late late! rikes suggested I write about mechanical bulls. Um, sort of? turps33 wanted dueling eyebrows, and, well. There's no overt mention of it, but you KNOW it's happening because it's Chris and Lance, and that's just how they roll. All of which is to say, I ignored your prompts and wrote whatever the fuck came out, because yes.

( As far as Chris can tell, Lance is definitely, one hundred percent gay. And not just because of his hair or his clothes or his ability to impersonate Ellen Degeneres, but for other, non-stereotypical reasons, too. Like the part where he fucks guys. )