Chapter 3: The Guys
"How then, you might ask, do you believe a narrator who openly admits that he's going to lie to you as much as possible? It's like trying to read Catcher in the Rye, but with less soul-searching and a lot more gay sex. Well, hopefully. I mean, one always hopes for a lot more gay sex." – Jay, J-5ive, from "The Memoirs of Jay-5ive: I Was A Teenage Pop Idol."
[I told them it was a mistake to let Jude watch The Island, and I was right, because now he's convinced that his clone (or Ewan McGregor's—Jude's theories are never very clear or understandable) is going to show up on his doorstep. They can write music in their underwear together, and if their robot sex slave revolts, there's always the panic room.]
Chapter 2: The Rules
"I really think relationships, like serious ones? Are just too hard for famous people. Because like, it's all, the press on you constantly, and you can't go to dinner or have a date or make a sex tape without someone finding out, you know? And at the end of the day, is it like, even worth it when you're under that much scrutiny that you can't even tape yourself having sex? It just sucks, man. It totally sucks." -Jude, J-5ive, from a 2002 interview in Rolling Stone
[So I wake up, and it's another hotel room. Just an anonymous hotel room like all the other hotel rooms I've spent half of my life sleeping in, except really lavish, with like, fake Louis XIV furniture and these crazy fur rugs all over the place, and someone forgot to close the drapes last night so the sun is like, really fucking bright. Oh, and there's a heart-shaped hot tub in the corner, and a passed out born again pop princess lying next to me on the bed.]
(formerly known as the Big Gay Boy Band Novel of Awesome)
Notes: You're probably going to recognize some of this from the Boy Band AU. Because--DUH. Also, concrit, very much appreciated. Especially re: the narrative, and if it makes sense the way I've structured it. Thanks!
"The first rule of being in a boy band is: you do not talk about being in a boy band. And the second rule of being in a boy band is: always be drinking. I don't know who made up these rules, but they were obviously a fucking genius and I thank God for them everyday. Or, you know, I would if I believed in Him, and he were willing to relax his rules about butt fucking just the tiniest bit, that homophobic asshole." -Jay, J-5ive, from The Memoirs of Jay-5ive: I Was A Teenage Pop Idol.
[In the beginning, there was light.]
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mellymbrosia, which is my original fiction journal, and everything is locked so you do need to get friended back to actually read anything. Not that I'm like, planning to be stingy about it or anything, but I don't really check the journal unless I'm posting, so if you don't tell me I have no way of knowing that you have friended me.Or I could set up notifications. Does that work on free accounts?
Anyway so yeah, I'm doing it. I've decided on a title, which is: The Boys in the Band: It's A Hard Pop Life, formerly known as The Big Gay Boy Band Novel of Awesome.
Summary: Um, well. It's about a former boy band member struggling to figure out his place in a post-pop world, while crazyass shit happens to him, all while trying to hide the fact that he is very very gay by accidentally getting engaged to a Pop Princess called Chastity. Everything seems to happen by accident. Yes, it's one of THOSE--things happen TO him, etc kind of novels. And at the end he possibly accidentally runs for President. Of Mexico. But it's not his fault, he was drunk at the time.
There will, of course, be flashbacks to the glory days. This might turn out to be total, unpublishable crack, but hey. It'll be fun to write.
Here's a little taste, for you to decide if you actually want to read this craziness:
There's this perception among the general public that boy banders are all drug addicts. In my experience, this is probably because of all the coke we do, not to mention the regular smoke ups. And okay, look. We know it's probably not the best idea, but come on. We're boy banders. It's not like we could really sink any lower.
Besides, it's not as if we go around telling our fans they should start snorting blow or whatever. For one thing, our fans are twelve year old girls who barely have enough money to score tickets to our concerts, much less any sort of drug worth putting up your nose. We've always said we're not role models, and anyway, anyone who seriously believes that we're in it to make music is delusional or really fucking naïve. I mean, have you heard our songs? No, we're in it for the money.
So yeah, if you want to read it, go ahead over to
mellymbrosia. I'm not going to be posting everyday like I did last time. I will most likely post in (hopefully) finished chapters of 10 pages or more. Hopefully it'll be at least semi-coherent.P.S.- for some reason, I really hate people today. But that's okay, because I have apocolypse The Stand-type popslash to read. Oh, and a novel to write. And some Ranma-inspired genderfucking crack fic as well.
- Mood:
awake
