There's this adorable cat that always comes up to me when I pull into my parking spot, and it doesn't have a collar and I really want to steal it, but it doesn't look unhealthy or starved or anything, so it's probably got an owner. *sadface* Max needs a friend! He gets lonely without me. Truefax.

Anyway, I've been really lamesauce about posting lately. But I finished my fic for queenbitchfest in time! I was maybe high when I wrote the ending, but so far no one has noticed. Now I just have my charity fic to finish (yes, still!) and my holiday exchange fic to write. It's so hard to write when I could be playing Puzzle Fighter, is the thing. Siiiigh.

Here's a meme, so that I'm not totally useless, and also because I know y'all want to know allll about me.

( Hi, my name is Bob, and I work at my job. )

And that reminds me--time to go finish that post-apocalyptic future fic posted at queenbitchfest OMGOMGOMG.

Here is a list of things that are happening with me, aka Why Andrea Is Having the Best Week Ever (Yay capes!):

1) An episode of House with lots of Chase, OMG. (He's so beautiful.)

2) Finally feeling comfortable talking openly about being bisexual with someone.

3) Tuesday happy hour; hanging out with girls and getting drunk off one margarita. Getting to know Brooke better, discovering that she is, in fact, 100% made of awesome.

4) Last night I had the best date ever, I'm pretty sure. 100% worth missing Thursday TV. YEAH. It was that good.

5) Seeing Rhett Miller at Antone's tonight, OMG.

6) Tomorrow: stancasting, racquetball, getting high with my friends and watching Baz Lurman films. FUCK YEAH.

7) GOT MY NETBOOK!!! And it's awesome and I will be writing on it on Sunday :) Because...

8) I finally know what I'm writing for Stars Go Blue (Rescue Blues sequelish thingy.) It's weird to have a title, but I mean, gotta stick with Ryan Adams on this one. And I maybe don't know like exact plot things, but I know what it's going to be about and I'm excited to write Adam's POV again, because it's been a while. I'm excited to write again, period! And then I can continue with my Queen Bitch fic, which I am already in love with and is going to be A++.

9) So, question. The person I am ~seeing (Catsilo--no, not his real name, but yes, that's what we call him) wants to do a cultural exchange with me in which we each choose 10 movies that we get to make the other person watch. My list right now is: Velvet Goldmine, Mulholland Drive, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Paris Is Burning, Heavenly Creatures, NSYNC Live from Atlantis, and Bad Education. I have a few more to go, but I'm sure I will think of them easily enough. What would be on your list of 10 movies you think everyone should watch?

10) In conclusion: \0/

Today on the way to work, I listened to this past week's podcast of This American Life, which was actually an old episode called 'Books that changed my life.' I really liked the episode and you should all go download it for free (yay free shit!), but it got me thinking about which books have changed my life. So obviously, I made a list.

5 Books That Changed My Life

(in no particular order)

1) Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
This was the first book I read that I really truly studied and teased out as many meanings as I could from it. It's also the book that introduced me to psychoanalytic readings and to my mentor in college, Lisa Ruddick, who I was half in love with, but mostly her brain and her talent and her hilarious lack of desire to read Durkheim. I've read Mrs D so many times, there are entire sections I could quote. It's not a long book, but it's so beautifully written, both entrenched in the late Victorian era and all the historical and cultural mores of that time and place, but also transcendent of all of that, because at its heart it's about people's desire to cling to their illusions even as the world/society/culture itself forcibly strips them away. It's also about the ways in which people, particularly women, but others as well, participate in their own oppression in a last-ditch effort to maintain a crumbling world view that, while regressive and oppressive and oftentimes horrible, also somehow brings comfort and guidance in a fast-changing world. I think this is something I really connect to, because I like to know my place in the world and how I relate to others; I like to be in control of that, even if being in control actually means giving up autonomy for the benefit of understanding my place. Here's my favorite part:

It was her life, and, bending her head over the hall table, she bowed beneath the influence, felt blessed and purified, saying to herself, as she took the pad with the telephone message on it, how moments like this are buds on the tree of life, flowers of darkness they are, she thought (as if some lovely rose had blossomed for her eyes only); not for a moment did she believe in God; but all the more, she thought, taking up the pad, must one repay in daily life to servants, yes, to dogs and canaries, above all to Richard her husband, who was the foundation of it--of the gay sounds, of the green lights, of the cook even whistling, for Mrs Walker was Irish and whistled all day long--one must pay back from this secret deposit of exquisite moments, she thought, lifting the pad, while Lucy stood beside her, trying to explain how.

How beautiful is that? Moments like this are buds on the tree of life... secret deposit of exquisite moments... and she's talking about this every day thing of reading a phone message and how that simple thing basically encapsulates her entire life, and how she both revels in it (exquisite moments) and is oppressed by it (bows beneath the influence) and how it makes her feel thankful for her own oppression (one must repay in daily life) because after her act of rebellion (Clarissa said she would buy the flowers herself) it gives her a sense of her place in the order of the world, which she needs because she has to believe in something, if not God, and she's chosen to replace God with this cultural paradigm of Victorian British culture and history. I guess I just really relate to that.

...anyway. Moving on.

( More rambling about books. )

...omg that was so much writing. And way too much information. How uncomfortable have I made all of you, now?? HA. Well. Tell me the 5 books (or just 1, whatever) that changed your life. (I'm telling you stories. Trust me.)

PS - Just got my netbook OMGOMGOMG.

Ugh, you guys. Work is fucking KILLING MY SOUL.



( A tale of how I feel almost like I'm back in college, but I'm actually working MORE and writing less. Urrrrggghhh. )

So anyway, that was lamecakes. And then the bus didn't come for 30 minutes and I got home just in time for Dollhouse and I didn't get to plan my TV podcast thing at all this week because I got home and just fucking crashed. I'm so drained, you guys. There's way too much shit going on. I like my life to be boring. I can only handle one exciting thing at a time, and right now everything is WAY too exciting.

Dear Life-

Please to be getting better, and also to be calming the fuck down. I know you're excited and Imma let you finish, but Andrea had one of the worst weeks ever, and now she's talking about herself in the third person.

Never a good sign.

no love-
Me

PS - Make something awesome happen this weekend, and forgiveness is in your grasp. Free tickets to Fame would be nice, just for example.

Thank fucking God it's Friday. Seriously. I know I haven't been around much, and I want to apologize for that. I have a bunch of y'alls fics open and I really want to read them, but freaking work is so busy right now, and by the time I get home at night I just want to watch Big Brother and collapse in a pile of exhaustion.

I did the Ask the Author thing over at idolmeta and it was actually really entertaining and fun. For me, anyway! I got to answer questions about my writing (non)process and pimp my favorite books and talk about myself a lot, which everyone loves to do, no matter how humble we pretend to be, KRIS ALLEN.

(Just kidding. Kris is humble for reals, yo. He's like the anti-Timberlake.)

If you're a member over there, though, I highly suggest signing up, because it was a lot of fun. I like that people asked me about how my different fandoms have compared, and my own perception of my fandom status and the whole BNF phenomenon. Someone asked me if people really don't know when they're BNFs because a lot of times she's seen BNFs act surprised when they're told they are BNFs. Which is a really interesting question to me, and I'm wondering what you all think. I think that the people who work hard to become BNFs in a conscious way know exactly what they're doing and what they hope to accomplish. They have this idea that BNFs are like Queen Bees--they're the Plastics of fandom.

But true BNFs--ie fans who become popular based on talent and charisma and just by being interesting people--they are often unaware of the status and could give a shit less about it. I know this is kind of a ~thing in AI right now for many reasons, but I wish people wouldn't sweat it. Just do your thing and be happy and don't worry about any of the rest of that mess.

Stuff I Need to Do This Weekend
+Catch up on BB for the finale
+Catch up on ABDC ie find a download (does anyone know where one might be?)
+GO SHOPPING OMG. I need new jeans (mine are falling off) and bras and maybe shirts. I don't know if I actually have money for it, but I need it. Siiiiigh.
+Sleep forever
+Go see The Big Gay Musical at the Drafthouse ♥

And that is all. Back to work. *sadface*

fakeplasticsnow demanded that I talk about the following topics:

+Labels
+Originality
+Adam Lambert
+Legacy
+Motivation

And then I believe if you'd like, I'm supposed to give you five words as well, or something.

( Labels | Originality | Adam Lambert | Legacy | Motivation )

Well, not really, but work is scary busy right now and I haven't had much slack off time. I haven't gotten to read much of the fic that got posted in my absence, and just. Yes, shit is insane. So please, if you wrote something, LINK ME TO IT!!! I tried to catch all the fic you guys wrote, but damn. It's hard out there for a pimp. Here's a quick run down of Recent Events:

1) Concert was awesome, I wrote a review, go read it if you want to know more.

2) The ontd_ai_gives charity auction for Donors Choose is still going on over here. Right now my offer is at $50. I have a feeling people are done bidding on me after that :P

3) Some personal stuff: I started Loestrin-24 Fe last week, and I had to stop taking it because it made me into a crazy person. Like, instantly, I went crazy. Also it made me so nauseous that I couldn't eat; I lost even more weight than normal and I'm down to 107 now. It also gave me a constant headache, extreme fatigue, and acne. I know I'm supposed to let my body get used to it, but I've never had that sort of reaction to BC before and the mood change honestly scared the shit out of me. I'm generally a pretty happy person. It made me incredibly angry and sad and anxious, and even if it's just for a month or something until my body adjusts, I couldn't deal with it. I'd rather have awful cramps and a migraine once a month then not be able to eat, constantly feel like puking, sprout zits everywhere, and be on the verge of a mental breakdown. Plus, I'm on Adderall. I take speed every day. When I get 8+ hours of sleep AND take Adderall, I shouldn't be exhausted to the point that I don't even want to move. So, there's that. Telling my gyno will be fun :/

4) I don't even know! Um, I just started reading one of the Vampire Academy books and I'm really enjoying it. So much better than Twilight, OMG. Speaking of Twilight, my ex-boyfriend, Matt, started asking me about it the other day, wanting to know what I thought of it and if it was one of the things I was obsessed/fannish about. So you know, I was like, "The first book is okay, but after that I had to force myself to read because they got so bad/made me angry." And I explained about the half-vampire psychic fetus, of course, because that's my favorite thing ever. And I was like, "...why are you asking me this?" And he goes, "Well, I was at the airport with nothing to read and..." AHAHA OMG. If you knew Matt, you'd know why the idea of him reading Twilight is freaking hilarious. He's in law school, he pretty much only reads serious science fiction for enjoyment, and here he is reading a chaste teen romance novel written by a Mormon with a vendetta against being old and birthing babies. It's just hilarious. I told him when he's done, we'll watch the movie. But drinks will be required.

5) Party on Friday. And then I have to write like the wind for aificathon. I have like 2000 words. But it's going to be long. Goddamnit.

6) I want to rename my Kris tag. Right now it's distracting! but I kind of want it to be something with 'homies'. well he got homies is an option, but not right. Maybe something with 'haters', but maybe homie ain't no punk. Suggestions?

That is all. I am lame. I thought I had shit to say, but I was wrong.

So, this is going to be a really useless post. I just wanted to let you all know that I will be pretty useless for the next week or so. Work is insane right now (end of the fiscal year + beginning of the school year = everyone running around like zombies on speed). Tomorrow, I am leaving bright and early for DETROIT ROCK CITY where I'm meeting my mom, my sister, and my mom's boyfriend so that we can all go see ADAM LAMBERT OMFG.

Oh, and the other Idols, too. But mostly Adam. My sister and I have already declared that we need to go someplace for dinner before the show that has booze, because I need to be a little drunk at least to see Who?. Even though I've heard he's good. Well, I really need booze to get through Megan. I love that girl, I would do her in an instant, but her voice drives me insane. (And also the fact that she's not Alexis Grace.)

I'm spending the rest of the week with my family in Ohio, basking in the not-110F weather and having my mom cook for me and hopefully relaxing a little. I will try to check my flist but I probably won't have a lot of opportunity or desire for that. If you need to get in touch with me, like if you write something awesome or Adam/Kris/Matt/Anoop/JC/Lance/Chris does something crazy amazing, or if you find out dirt or secret pictures of Brad or Cassidy or whoever else, EMAIL ME OMG. It's amgolden at gmail. I won't think you're a creeper, I promise.

I won't be checking my twitter, but I will be tweeting from the show, at least, and probably during other random activities. If you want me to get a message, direct tweet me and it will come to my phone. I'm phaballa at twitter. I WILL STAY FOR DSB, SO THERE WILL BE KRADAM TWEETS. This I promise you.

/pointless ramble

I spoke too soon when I said I was over the urge to stab things today.

So remember two weeks ago, when my debit card was deactivated because I'd never activated the new card they sent me in the mail 2 months ago and told me to shred because it was for my old (closed) checking account? Yeah, so, the woman I talked to then told me she would send me a card by regular mail because of how no one is home at my apartment to sign for an overnight delivery (and she insisted it MUST be signed for, and my apartment office will not sign for shit) and the bank branches all close before I even get off work? Well guess who never ordered me a new card? YEAH.

It's been two weeks and she said 7-10 days, so I decided to call up CitiBank and find out where the fuck my debit card is. During non-business hours, CitiBank employs some sort of call center in India, and I feel really sorry for those people because I am sure they're not getting paid nearly as much as, say, the stupid bitch who decided not to order me a new debit card at all. So I get this Indian guy on the phone, and he's really nice, and I'm explaining the situation and how I just want to check to see when it was sent, if the card will get here soon, etc. I'm leaving for Ohio in a week, and I'd kind of like to have access to my bank account, among other things.

So he's checking the information, blah blah, and he says, "It looks as though your card was never ordered."

Upon which I immediately burst into tears. Because goddamnit. You never realize how frustrating it is to live without a debit card until you have to do it, especially the way CitiBank has their shit set up so that to even hear my balance over the phone or to view it online, I need an active debit card. So right now I'm living off credit cards and just paying them off as I go, but I don't know how much money I actually have and it makes me very nervous and OMFG this shouldn't even be happening. So the poor call center dude is like, "Are you crying?! Please don't cry! Please stop crying! We can order you a new card and have it there by tomorrow, please don't cry!"

(I think my crying upset him a lot. It was so weird! It wasn't HIS fault. God, I hope I didn't get him in trouble with my crying.)

So I explain the situation about how I can't be home to sign for anything, and how I can't get to the bank before it closes. He puts me on hold with instructions to "please stop crying" and talks to his superior, who decides that they will overnight me a card in a special package that doesn't need to be signed for, and I will have it by Thursday at the latest.

But. Jesus fucking Christ. I think I need to move to the University Credit Union. At least there's a branch across the street from work. And I hope the woman I got the first time gets FIRED. I was frustrated and I made her explain why everything that happened happened, but that's no reason to punish me by just NOT ORDERING MY CARD. What a bitch. BOO YOU WHORE.

In conclusion: CitiBank can go die in a fire. It deserves to be taken out back and shot in the face by Dick Cheney.

This week is kind of crazy and I haven't really been around much and I'm missing all sorts of stuff, but you know, whatevs. My life isn't that exciting. Here are some things that happened.

musicboxgirl and her brother arrived on Monday, which was two days early, because they realized that Houston is actually a hell hole and not worth staying in for more time than is absolutely necessary. Unfortunately that means I haven't been to the gym at all this week. Which is maybe good because maybe my ass muscle will heal, but it's making me itchy, too. I've been working so hard and I don't want to slide back just because I broke my ass. *sadface* Well, I'm playing racquetball on Saturday, and I finally bought a lock for my locker, so I can go swimming and rest my ass but still exercise.

I know the ass thing is funny, but it fucking hurt. I was on the floor, you guys. And considering that I tore cartilage in my knee while vaulting, iced it until it was numb, and then VAULTED AGAIN until I tore my ligament and couldn't straighten my knee, and STILL just went home instead of the ER, that means something. I've been eating lots of bananas to try to aid in the healing process. Is that what I am supposed to be doing? I got charley horses in my calves the other night, too, so I think there's a deficiency of some kind. Is there anything else I can do to make my muscles happy again?

Anyway, the really bad part about musicboxgirl and her brother coming early is that I didn't have anything planned! I'm afraid I've been so boring. Last night we went out to dinner to Polvos, which is my favorite Mexican place because it has raspberry margaritas and delicious food. We met Steph and mitcharf there, and I hope everyone had a good time. I felt a bit like a cruise director! It's always a little awkward being the only person who knows everyone, and I am like, very not good at making conversation. So I hope they all still like me.

Today! Today we are meeting jacksonite and dazifudo for happy hour at Chuy's. I haven't been to Chuy's in forever and I'm pretty excited. Free nacho bar! $3 margaritas! WOOT. And then afterward, it's HARRY FUCKING POTTER TIME OMGOMGOMG!!! I'm just a little excited.

I've been working on my amnesia!Kris fic for stori_telling and I'm really liking it. It's weird writing an AU in a fandom this new, but it's kind of fun, too. It's more of an AR, really... but man, writing Adam as anything other than, you know, ADAM, is quite the experience. I think MattyG is going to work at the anarchist bookstore. (Yes, another fic set in Austin. Deal with it. This city fucking rocks.)

Did you make it through all that? Ten awesome points to you!

Things About This Weekend:

1) Attempting to play racquetball, and hopefully I won't injure myself again. I've been jumping around to test the stability of my ass, and it seems okay? I'm hopefully. No hurting, so that's a good sign.

2) Gotta go to the library and pick up 'Wintergirls' and 'Identical'. I'm excited--I've heard amazing things about both of them, and I'm almost done rereading HBP so I need something new.

3) musicboxgirl will be here on Wednesday!!! I need to clean. And put my clean laundry in my dresser, where it belongs, instead of in baskets on my floor. EEP. And I need to put the caps on Max's claws. Her brother is afraid of cats... which will be interesting, because Max is huuuuuuuge and he can be a little scary when he gets excited.

4) Gotta start my stori_telling fic for real today. I'm doing way too much the next two weeks to work on it properly. I was going to work on it in Chicago, but I bought plane tickets/concert tickets for AI instead of a netbook, soooo. Need to write it this week! This is going to be the one where Kris has amnesia and Adam is a non-bitchy barista and I'm SO EXCITED OMG. I think it's going to be great. I will need a beta. Someone who knows AI and can tell me if I'm translating the characters into AU-land properly. \0/

5) So in the next two weeks, the following shit is going down:


• a) musicboxgirl and her bother arrive on Wednesday. I think I'm going to take them to Polvos for dinner, if anyone else is in the mood for interior Mexican deliciousness.
  
  
• b) Thursday I'm taking Kari to work. Kind of. She has an appointment on campus to talk to grad schools, so hopefully I will have time afterward to give her a tour and sell her on Austin. YAY! Grades are due, of course, which is going to be... ugh. But hopefully my professors will have their shit together and get them in on time and I won't need to worry.
  
  
• c) Thursday after work, we're meeting jacksonite and possibly dazifudo for happy hour/free nacho bar at Chuy's. EEEEE!! I haven't been to Chuy's in sooo long. Then we are going to see Harry Potter and the MOTHERFUCKING HALF BLOOD PRINCE at the Drafthouse at 10:30pm and I am so excited I could VOMIT!! Should I wear my Tonks wig? I think yes.
  
  
• d) Friday we are headed off to Dallas with misskittye to see NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK with wendy OMGOMGOMG!!! A childhood dream realized! I feel like Kathy Griffin's mom getting to meet Betty White. When I was 10 and soooo in love with Joey Mac, all my friends went to see them in Detroit and stayed in a hotel and everything, but my mom wouldn't let me go. Probably, we didn't have the money considering I was on the gymnastics team at a private gym AND in a dance company taking private lessons and blah blah. But still. NKOTB OMG! Also, Jabbawokeez are opening for them! I'm pretty excited about seeing Jabba!
  
  
• e) And then less than a week later, I am off to Chicago to hang out with scottmpriz and eat my weight in Giordanos. And popmusicjunkie, you still want to hang out? I will email you and we can make firmer plans for a meet-up, yes?

So... any Austinites who want to hang out with the coolest people you know, aka me and Kari, text/email/whatever me, and we will hook up. And now, breakfast.

(Sorry guys, I've had too much caffeine and I'm making a CD of Adam's stuff for my mom because she demanded it and she's driving her poor boyfriend crazy playing 'Mad World' over and over again. Forgive my randomness in this post.)

1. So, I didn't realize that my comment notifications for zebras4eva were going to my old email address. It took me two weeks to answer those comments, but if you left me a Dear Zebra comment over there, I did answer! I had to unscreen the comments to reply and so that you could read your replies... so please let me know if you want them re-screened after reading. There's a new post up right here so if you want advice, or just to write me a random Dear Zebra letter, go for it. Comments are screened, anon posting is on, ip tracking is off. And I will actually answer in a timely manner this time!

2. I did so much STUFF this weekend! I saw people. I left my house. It's kind of revolutionary for me. On Friday, I decided that I needed a breakfast taco, so I went to Magnolia with arielchan, puszysty, and mitcharf. It was fun. I feel like I talked too much because I was the only person who knew all three of them, but those are three people I feel like would get along, so you know. I'm a uniter! And stuff. Then arielchan and irish_cocktail came over and we watched Hedwig and Velvet Goldmine. I love those movies so fucking much. They are both in my top 5. Eventually, Mitch came over and brought us booze, and we discussed the acidic properties of Brendon Urie's come. Good times.

3. Then yesterday, I went to a July 4th bbq. I swam, I socialized, I ate a popsicle. Brian and I went to Mighty Fine Burger, which was very yummy, and we watched Hung, which was okay. Then I went to Mitch's with dazifudo and watched Tombstone, which is not in my top 5 but it's definitely in my top 10, and I really think there should be Doc Holliday/Johnny Ringo slash. I mean, COME ON. They speak Latin to each other. They would have the best hate sex ever.

4. So it was a busy weekend, and I got no writing done. Less than a month until stori_telling is due, and I need to get started like a week ago. EEP. I blame Cheeks. He needs to stop distracting me by wanting to write about him instead.

5. And finally, because a lot of people are friending me and a lot of them come from bandom, I feel like ( I need to address the giant pink elephant of stage gay wank. )

I know, tl;dr. I just felt like I needed to say that. I don't want anyone to feel weird or afraid to friend me because of that stuff. There are a few people I've been wanting to friend again that I've been hesitant about because of the wank, but I think, you know, I'm just going to do it. I trust myself a lot more now not to offend them like I did last time, and it would be pretty cool if we could be friends again.

Adam Lambert has secret alien powers of awesomeness to bring people together in the common cause of worshiping his fierceness. TRUFAX.

It's not a very shiny Friday :( Here's a list.

1. So, I pulled my ass muscle last Saturday, and I've been resting it for the last few days. I went to the gym yesterday and it was fine. But of course, now my shoulder is killing me. On the other hand... I'm down to 114 lbs now. Matt asked me how I'm going to STOP losing weight when I reach my goal, what with the meds and all, and I kind of realized I have no idea. If my shoulder weren't so fucked, I'd say that I could switch from cardio stuff to weights. But... well. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

2. In addition, I think I have endometriosis. I have really good reasons for thinking this, but it's kind of too gross to go into in a public post. I'm calling some doctors my friends recommended this afternoon. There's not much they can do except like, put me on birth control. It's not more painful than my periods have always been, but it's definitely gross and I should probably make sure I'm not dying.

3. Tomorrow, I am going with soylahtayplease to a screening of Serenity and Dr Horrible. I'm so excited!! Even though I am poor, I am going to get something good to eat so I will have strength to kick mitcharf's ass at racquetball afterwards. This will be my second time seeing Dr Horrible on the big screen, and seriously, it never gets old. The hammer is my penis. I'm just saying.

4. I need to work on my Kris-has-amnesia fic for stori_telling. I need to START it actually. July is going to be so crazy with people coming here and me going to Chicago, and it feels like it's going to be a long story. Long for me. Which means like 20,000 words. You guys, I have written so many 20k+ stories, it's kind of ridiculous. Like, did that MPREG really need to be so long? (Well, yes. Whatever, I love that fic.) Or the 7-11 AU. That one is ridiculous!

5. And finally, I have a lot of new people on my flist. HI NEW PEOPLE!! Please feel free to introduce yourselves to me, or say hi back, or ask me questions because I'm sure there's a LOT you don't know about me aside from the thing about Adam Lambert. I've been thinking about doing a new introduction post because my userinfo is kind of... weird and misleading, and I wrote it like 5 years ago. So if there's anything you want to know, just ask. I've been told I can be intimidating, but honestly, I'm usually very nice. And now that I'm on drugs, I'm a lot less... argumentative. Or maybe capable of keeping my more offensive opinions to myself :) Let's do this! I like to know the people on my flist. (Weird, right? What can I say...)

6. And for real finally... I have to admit, I'm pretty sad about Michael Jackson. He was the soundtrack to my childhood. My sister is 8 years older than me, and she was prime MJ age. I remember her saying she was going to marry him some day. A few years ago, I went with jacksonite to the Michael Jackson Sing Along at the Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin. They showed all his videos, even the ones that were like 20 minutes long. And he was just an incredible musician and performer. I remember reading about when he was writing Billie Jean, the label wanted him to cut that famous opening section because they thought it was taking too long to get to the singing. And Michael wouldn't back down; he kept the opening and it's one of the most famous and recognizable openings of any pop song. When I was a kid, whenever a new Michael or Janet video would come out, I'd show up at the dance studio and we'd all be trying to do the choreography in the lobby before class. JC said on E! that Michael Jackson provided the soundtrack to our lives, and I think that's true. Tonight, I would like to watch MJ videos and get wasted in his honor. (Probably I will just take a muscle relaxer and crash though. Fucking shoulder.)

THERE, now I am done.

1) I am going to attempt more K&A's Infinite Playlist today! I have to sit at the front desk for an hour this morning, and since I can't do any of my actual work there, it will be a good time to go for it. I'm still trying to decide who should be Kris's drunk friend, and I kind of want to make it Allison? Would that be too weird? I think Kris will have to enlist Adam's help to get her home because they came on Kris's vespa. YEAH. This Kris would totally ride a Vespa. Like an aqua one. Ahahaha.

2) Had drinks with dazifudo and jacksonite last night! It was great. Sitting outside at Trudy's, margaritas and queso and taco salads. YUM. Jackie says I give good relationship advice, and I say that's because I've had so many shitty ones. I kind of want to start an advice column though! I don't know why so many people ask ME for advice but I think it's because I tell the truth that sometimes people don't want to hear, but they kind of know they NEED to hear.

In fact, let's just do it, yo. You want advice? Leave me an anonymous comment at zebras4eva. I will make an empty post there, with comments screened of course. Let me know if it's okay to answer your comment publicly or not; the best ones will be posted with responses, but I'll respond to everything.

(Now no one will need any advice and I will look like a total jerk. HEH. OH WELL.)

But the point of #2 is that my friends are awesome, and margs are awesome, and I can apparently get drunk of 3/4 of a margarita now. It's a new talent. I APPROVE.

3) SYTYCD was kind of disappointing last night, I have to say. I liked Wade's routine the best (*facepalm*) and it's not like the other ones were BAD, but I didn't see any Joshua&Katie specialness. I'll give them time. Not everyone can be Joshua&Katie. Or Marc&Chelsea. *hearts*

4) I have so many new people on my flist!! I'm so happy to have a fandom I'm really excited about again. It feels like when I first got into CW rpf, because it's NEW and EXCITING and new canon happening every day, and there's not that many well-known fics or authors yet so it feels like I can really come up with my own characterizations from scratch. I like to think my CW characterizations were uniquely MINE, and that was a little something I think I missed in popslash, because the fandom was so firmly in place by the time I got to it. It's exciting but it's a little scary, too. From here on out, we travel with no map!

5) This past weekend I made mitcharf watch Southland Tales. I watched Donnie Darko first, then Southland Tales, because the weekend before I attempted S Darko which is supposed to be the "sequel" to Donnie Darko, but written and directed by different people. ST is written and directed by Richard Kelly and even though it didn't LOOK like DD and was in a very different style, I still feel like thematically, it's the true sequel because thematically, it's about the same things and explores the same sorts of questions.

Plus, I'm a pimp, and pimps don't commit suicide.

ETA: queenydiva pointed out that zebras4eva wasn't allowing comments from non-friends! I changed that, so I hope it works now. Holla at me like I'm a tiny, untalented Tim Gunn.

So, I have basically a shitton of work to do because it turns out LYG didn't have her surgery last week, she was on vacation, and she's having her surgery tomorrow and will be out for a while SO! I am doing a bunch of her stuff. Which means I will be largely unavailable and not checking my flist as thoroughly as I do, so please please, if anything exciting happens, let me know! (Especially if anyone writes any good Adam Lambert fic of any color, I want to READ IT OMG.)

I will be slowly writing your Adam-Kris drabbles, and I'm happy that you guys are liking the ones I've written so far. Especially that my theory about Peter Sarsgaard, which I invented with danxsunday and so is extra special meaningful, is so widely regarded for its truthiness. Adam and Peter have a similar quality, in that they are not necessarily the most attractive people in the world, or even in a given room, and yet they make everyone gay. Like, not even because they make straight guys want to get freaky with them (altough obviously, they do!), but they just walk into a room and BAM--everyone is gay. It's unexplainable and undeniable. The Peter Sarsgaard Idiom. (I wrote an entire fic about it once, like 3 years ago. NO REALLY.)

Ahem anyway. Before I go into the never-neverland of electronic document creation and invoice payments (oy), I wanted to let you all know that I will actually be working for the next week or so, and not goofing off, and you should email me (amgolden at gmail) with anything particularly exciting. Or find me at Twitter (phaballa) etc etc.

For those who want to know--my MRI went fine, but I won't know the results probably until tomorrow if they are bad. If they are good, I won't know until I get the letter from my insurance company saying nothing's wrong with me. The technician said I didn't move a muscle. The guy who came out to explain MRIs to me looked at me and was like, "You're not Andrea, are you?" And I was like, "Yup, that's me!" "You're 29??!!!" Me: "Yeah, I know. People are always trying to kick me out of the faculty/staff weight room at the gym because they think I'm a student." Guy: "I was gonna ask where your parents are! 29!! Heh."

So you know, whatevs. We shall see. It's feeling a little better today. My left knee, on the other hand, is giving me all sorts of shit and it hurts when I sit too long, to the point that I can't put weight on it when I stand up. I just have to grit through it and walk it off. It usually goes back to feeling okay after 5 minutes or so. Sigh. My stupid body. It hates me. It's rebelling. The guy who gave me my MRI prep was like, "So you've had MRIs before?" And I was like, "Yeah, both knees, my head, plus a contrast on my head, and my stomach..." And the guy looked at my file and was like, "Girl, you tore up your knees!"

It's true. 2 tears in the left knee when I was 11. 3 in the right when I was 19. (And I didn't even injure it that time!) I am waiting for the day when they can make bionic knees. And now I am just rambling and procrastinating. Sigh. BACK TO WORK.

ETA: VERY IMPORTANT!!! I forgot to mention that my phone... won't turn on. I can't tell if it's just dead and the charger is broken, or if there's something wrong with the phone itself. I'm going to attempt to charge it via my computer when I get home, but for now, assume it's broken and I am unavailable for calling purposes :(

I saw this on Jezebel and needed to share:



It made me smile anyway!

Speaking of making me smile, does anyone have Lily Allen's new album?? I love every song I've heard off it. It's funny, I used to really dislike Lily Allen. And now I think she's kind of amazing. She's like the anti-Katy Perry.

Things to Do Today:
+deposit birthday/NKOTB checks
+record a podcast
+watch Southland, Grey's, the Office... and I think there's more. EEP.
+Go to Wolverine with arielchan!!

Speaking of arielchan, I invited her to a party last night and she actually came! It was very exciting. She now works at a place that a lot of my friends work or have worked in the past, so I thought I'd introduce her around. I hope she wasn't bored out of her mind. All in all it was a pretty okay party. I never go out anymore so people are always like, "The world is ending, Andrea is here!" Ha. Matt tried to broker a peace agreement between me and Andy, which mainly amounted to both of them trying to hug me a lot, which I am not a fan of. Matt claimed not to be drunk but I think he was a little bit.

I know the drugs are working, because Andy was very drunk and saying all sorts of true things as to why I have every reason to hate him and I *should* hate him, and I didn't say a word. I just stood there and tried to avoid the hugging and did not go off on him or ANYTHING, even when the saving seats thing was brought up. GO DRUGS. I like feeling more in control, for sure.

I'm going to set up a filter to talk about my new brain meds. So if you want to be on the filter let me know in the poll. If you don't, I promise I won't be offended! Great knowledge comes with great responsibility, however. I am depending on you (and a lot on those of you who see me in real life) to tell me if I'm acting weird or going off the rails or anything like that. If the changes are good or bad. Because I really do like myself even if some parts of me aren't that awesome sometimes, so if my personality seems to be changing drastically in a bad way, I hope you'll let me know. Whether you're on the filter or not.

(I've been told I'm a little intimidating. Which is funny to me. But not to maybe people I intimidate. So don't feel intimidated; I won't get mad, I swear!)

Poll #1398025 new meds
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 49

Who wants to be on a filter where I talk about the new drugs I'm taking? (legally)

Peppermint mochas

I'm a motherlover, you're a motherlover

Here is a list of things that are making today Very Bad Indeed:

1) My mood is out of control. I go from angry to upset to wanting to cry and back to angry. My mom would say, "Are you about to start your period?" Well, yes. But that doesn't really make me feel better. In fact, it makes me even angrier! I don't need my period. I am not having babies. I do not need that blood to build up. I do not even need eggs. NATURE, BITE ME.

2) My doctor's office is moving. Much farther away. Which means when I go for my follow-up to my testing last week, I have to drive, and then park on campus, which will cost me $12. So in the end, for one diagnosis that my doctor may or may not give me, I will have paid $124. Approximately. And that's not counting all the time I had to take off work, either. After which, my GP might just tell me I'm 100% normal like she does every fucking time I see her, even though there is OBVIOUSLY shit wrong with me. I am not imagining my memory problems, and I am certainly not imagining my compulsive verbal vomit issue. I have lost quite enough friends to prove that.

3) My shoulder hurts.

4) I just found out that I have been nominated slave for this random Institute some of the professors are running. I am pretty sure my boss would not approve of me being their slave, but she is out today. And now I have to spend my entire afternoon creating a mailing list. Not excited.

5) I'm sick of feeling like I can't post my real thoughts to my own journal because I will end up offending someone without realizing it. Which is a lot of the reason I am worrying so much about #2. Because okay, what if the doctor's office loses my results in the move, or the neuro people send the results to the wrong office? I NEED HELP OMG. I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut on my own. And I would like to be able to remember things like my phone number.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make a fucking mailing list. I am Jack's complete annoyance.

I'm back from Dallas! I had a very fun-filled weekend with wendy, why_me_why_not, and a little bit of offtheceiling tacked on at the end, too. I've been trying to catch up on my flist but almost three days without having checked it turns out to be a lot of missed posts, and I am tired and lazy. JC didn't put out an album and no one new is gay; that's all I really need to know.

( Here's what I did over my summer vacation. )

*

( The other thing I did was get 6 hours of psych testing. )

Shit has been crazy lately, y'all. Firstly, I got some terrible virus on my computer at home that deleted all my restore points and wouldn't let me open any web browser except my very very old copy of Mozilla. Luckily, I made restore CDs back when I first got the computer in 2004, so I was able to do a boot recovery from that.

Of course, that set my computer back to 2004, basically.

I didn't lose any hard data (all my music and popslash footage and the Sims are still there, and yes, that is basically the extent of my hard drive, hush), but all my updates were gone. I have iTunes v.4, you guys. So I spent most of last night post-Heroes updating Windows to 2009 standards just so I could install a version of iTunes that knew of the existence of iPods, so I could load the Don't Trust A Ho song onto my iPod. Yeah, I know. Stop judging me!

I can't wait to find out what else needs to be updated. Eeep. But the lesson here is: make a recovery disc, people! Don't rely on your restore points. MAKE A DISC. It saved like 50 gigs of music and footage and porn from being lost forever to me.

Later today, I am going to put up the recipe for breakfast tacos at t_a_s_t_e_y, which more people should post at because I need recipes. Also, I am so excited that membership to teerlove has broken double digits!!!!11!!!! miss_bennie wrote a really awesome Nick/Miley fic and I considered harassing her to post it at teerlove but I am suddenly shy :/ I know, right? WTF. I am not shy. And I want people to post their fic there! But. No one knows me in that fandom and I kind of don't want to ruin it yet by being pushy and abrasive or whatever.

Eeeeep.

Speaking of which, psych testing on Thursday. Soon, very soon my pretties, I might actually be able to control my compulsive offensiveness! (Well, drugs will control it. But same thing.) I hope you are all looking forward to the day.