Later Days

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult

Warnings: recreational drug use

Comments: So originally, I was writing this for spn_j2_bigbang. But then I lost my inspiration and, well, I couldn't write the story I was planning to write. More on that later. For now I need to thank wendy, babyofthegroup, and madame_d for their kind words, attempts to help, and helping me see that I don't owe anyone a love song story. Also thanks to llamabitchyo and kira_j for their input and for telling me this totally makes sense, even if it doesn't.

( Author's notes. )

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( Jensen's only been in love twice before, and only the once that he'll actually admit to anyone but himself, but he knows what this feeling is. He smiles to himself and thinks, third time's the charm. )

Since I sort of think I am never going to finish these, I figured I might as well post them for posterity, at the very least. And hey, if someone feels the desire to finish them for me, you have my permission to do what you will with them.

( Harry Potter fic based on the Nanny Diaries. )

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( Jensen is a governess fic. No, I don't even understand what I was trying to do here. If anyone else can figure it out... )

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( A popslash AU based on 'Gone' that I started for Autumn Challenge a million years ago and never finished. It's pretty good actually. Hmm. )

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( A tiny bit of a skater AU I was going to write for a JuC something-or-other. I had just watched the X-Games. Yesterday the World Championships were on and the PLG won again and Bucky didn't even place, very sad. He tried the 720 though and almost made it, but he didn't stay on so. Anyway. Fic. )

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( I started writing this for the Dragon challenge. JC convinces Lance to join his World of Warcraft guild. This is actually pretty hilarious. But so much research! Luckily, my friends are all fonts of WoW knowledge. Maybe I will finish it someday. I can't even remember what pairing it was going to be, though. )

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And that's it. And now my laundry is done! YAY.

Southland Tales (The More Things Change)

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adultish
Warning: Extreme schmoopiness ahead!

Comments: A sort of sequel/epilogue to Chicagoland, which I wrote for spn_j2_bigbang about ten million years ago. As requested by madame_d for her birthday: Jared and Jensen decide to have another baby. Four sort of-connected vignettes from the future. Happy birthday, madame_d! I hope this is what you wanted :)

( So Jensen never planned to have more kids because it just never seemed like the right time and he was pretty happy with the ones they had already, it just never even really came up. Which is why he's pretty surprised when Jared says, 'I wanna have a baby.' Also because Jared's dick is in his ass at the time, and it's really not the appropriate venue for this discussion. )

The Mostly True and Only Somewhat Exaggerated Adventures of Fanboi and Fruitfly

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult
Summary: Jared was a teenaged fanboi of epic proportions.

Comments: Written for the lovely delicatelight for my first ever Sweet Charity contribution. Many thanks to wendy and madame_d for being the best betas ever and making me believe that I can still write J2, even if I have to cheat a little to do it.

( Being seventeen and gay and in love with 'Jensen Ackles: Rock Sensation' is problematic at best, but when you live in San Antonio, home of homophobic football players and the people who worship them, it pretty closely resembles hell. )

Real Person Fiction

Fandom: cw rps, and a bit of popslash
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, Sandy
Comments: I need to say, first off, that I did not come up with this idea. This fic is heavily inspired by Not Based on A True Story, and all the best bits are taken from there. Sort of. No real people were harmed in the writing of this fic. I don't usually do dedications because it's kind of creepy, but this is kind of a creepy fic and so, Sunday, this is for you. This is very personal and I have no one to blame for mistakes except myself, because I was too scared to get it beta'd. And now, I'm going to post before I chicken out.
Summary: Jensen and Jared are popslashers.

( You know what they expect from you, your style or whatever—crack and drunken fumblings and a little bit of angst as long as it's funny, and it should all end in a big pile of hot sex that ensures at least ten comments from people wanting to have your brain babies when what they really mean is that they want your dick. )

The Worst De-Virginizing Ever

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult
Comments: Written for madame_d, who requested a Chicagoland timestamp: Jared's first time on the bottom. I think this mostly stands alone, so you don't have to go back and read Chicagoland itself. Almost a year after Easy As Pie.

( Jensen had it all planned out, how things would be for Jared's first time. )

My first timestamp fic!

SoLa Land

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Comments: A ficlet that takes place 6 months after Chicagoland. The boys move to LA.

( It's not quite white picket fences, but it's pretty damn close. )

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As a side note, writing this really makes me realize how much I love writing these particular incarnations of Jensen and Jared and how complete they feel to me. I think I have issues writing J2 in other ways, now, because these characters are so ingrained and I just like them so much. I even struggle writing them in Mannequin Fic because my head resists writing them as anything other that my Chicagoland boys. SIGH.

As promised, Mannequin fic! I've been neglecting the CW side of things, so I thought I'd remedy that.

Ready to Wear
Part 4: The Case of the Missing Mannequin

Fandom: cw rps
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Disclaimer: Only happens in my dreams. Literally.
Comments: Part 4 of the Mannequin AU, a continuing saga of mall (un)life. Previous parts are here.

( It's not Jensen's fault the Mannequin is so undeniably hot. It's like, actually pretty artistic of him to be able to appreciate such a work of beauty. Or something. )

Ready to Wear
Part 3: The Dickless Wonder

Fandoms: popslash, cwrps
Rating: Adult themes
Comments: For those of you who are late to the game, this is part of the mannequin AU. Jared and JC and Justin and... probably some others eventually, are mannequins in a shopping mall.

Last week, ladyvyola wrote this amazing poem that we will pretend Jared wrote. It's pretty much the best thing EVER:

Ode to the Most Beautiful Boy in the World

Your eyes gleam like the LED
in the security gates just inside Macy's

Your lips shine like the SmashBox
knock-off gloss at the atrium kiosk

Your skin glows like the froth
in my half-caff double-shot hazelnut extra-whip mochachino latte

Suck my dick
Suck my dick
Suck my dick

( JC thinks that there are actually worse things than Back to School weekend. Like having to live life as a dickless wonder. )

First off, a little story. My roommate and I went shopping yesterday at the mall. She was looking for a dress for a wedding she's attending in October, and this weekend in Texas was a Tax-Free weekend, in which there's no sales tax for some reason. Texas is weird. Anyway, so we're at the mall, and we walk by Express, and I happened to look at the mannequins in the windows, only to notice that, holy shit, those are the freakiest mannequins in the world! So you know how some mannequins have no heads, and some are normal, headified mannequins, and some just have blob heads with no faces? These had HALF HEADS. Like, the lower half of their heads only. Basically from the mouth-jaw down. It was so incredibly fucked up. Anyway.

The second thing I want to point out is that banishedfaith made this FAB banner!:



How awesome is that?

Thirdly, more fic. Jared this time!

Ready to Wear
Part 2: Tales from the Food Court

Fandom: cw rps, popslash
Disclaimer: Not real. Jesus is magic, etc, etc.
Comments: Part of the Mannequin AU. All parts are right here. Enjoy!

( Jared comes alive at night. )

Hello everyone, happy Monday! So. I've been planning this little series for a quite a while and I've finally decided to start it. I'm going to post it weekly on Mondays, I think, and I don't have a plan for it aside from, I'll write some stuff and post it, and hopefully you all will be amused and delighted.

What is it, you ask? Ah. Well. So, remember these pictures of JC:



in which he looks like a mannequin? Well. It gave me this idea to write an AU where JC and Jared (as in Padalecki, YES) are mannequins in a mall, and at night they come alive and meet for coffee in the food court and lament about how they're in love with their shop managers and how hard life is as a mannequin.

What? It makes total sense! Anyway, so here's part 1, and I will be posting these as a series of ficlets because I don't feel like taking this seriously and writing it as a whole big thing. I mean, it's about MANNEQUINS, it's not going to be a serious endeavor. Enjoy!

Ready to Wear
Part 1: My So-Called Life

( Life as a mannequin isn't nearly as boring as you'd assume, but sometimes JC thinks it's a lot sadder than anyone would ever suspect, especially when you're in love with someone who doesn't even know you're alive. Literally. )

Manny and the Beast
or, A Tale of Two Nannies (Only One of Which We Care About)
or, Jensen, the Lonely Goatherd

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult. And everyone is over 18 years old. And consenting.
Disclaimer: Never happened, never will, they're not gay, blah blah.
Comments: I just want to thank madame_d and wendy for being awesome and really kicking my ass on this. It wouldn't be half as good (or as long!) without you guys. Written for spn_harlequin with the prompt: For Amy Logan, living with wildly attractive widower Dan Major for the past three years was a fantasy come true...even if it was only as nanny to his six-year-old daughter. But now Dan had just stunned her with a proposal every woman dreams of-and one she couldn't possibly accept. Dan needed a wife, and Amy seemed the ideal candidate. All he had to do was make her fall in love with him. But Amy had other ideas.

( The first thing that Jensen ever said to him was: 'You're not a nun.' )

Last Stop: Chicagoland
by phaballa, art by affectingly

Before Anne was actually and officially pregnant, before the whole test tube mixing, baby-making science experiment thing happened and they were just talking about it, just looking through egg donor catalogues and joking about whether the chick sounded like she had big tits or not, before Jensen had to endure way too many digs about Jessica Alba and having part-animal bits—before all that, Jensen didn't really think too much about what it meant to have kids. He never really thought he would because, hello, gay and a man and really not equipped for that sort of thing, but Jared was so excited and had all these ideas and before he knew it, there they were on the floor of Jensen's—their, whatever, he was still getting used to the idea of them together and sharing and all that—apartment with brochures spread everywhere. No pictures, because they didn't want to be all superficial about it, but personality profiles, likes and dislikes, test scores, IQ scores. Jensen looked at all of it and thought it would be really cool to have a super baby. Although not if actual animal parts were involved. He was willing to give up the super baby status to ensure an all-human kid.

Jensen came home one night from rehearsal pretty much dead on his feet and wishing he'd never agreed to do this summer thing with the Neo-Futurists, because he loved the whole Too Much Light, short-plays thing and it was fun and exciting and every night was different with live theatre, but it was exhausting, too, so yeah. But Jensen came home after a show and it was two in the morning, it was a Saturday night and Jared waited up for him. He was just sitting there, grinning, and Jensen knew. Anne was pregnant. Knocked up. In the family way. It was done. Anne was going have their kid.

It wasn't until that moment that Jensen started freaking out.

( Credits, thanks, and acknowledgements. )

Table of Contents

Prologue
+Part 1: Dating on the Regular
+Part 2: Easy As Pie
+Part 3: The Worst De-Virginizing Ever

Last Stop: Chicagoland
+Part 1
+Part 2
+Part 3

Epilogue
+Part 1: SoLa Land
+Southland Tales (The More Things Change)

Extras
+Last Stop: Chicagoland, the music
+A Completely Biased, Not Entirely Accurate Walking Tour of Chicago
+Let the Rain Pour: Music Mix
+Later Days: A fic that is probably only related to Chicagoland in my brain and nowhere else

Last Stop: Chicagoland, Part 3

(  They don't get to talk that night because Charlie is up with a stomach ache like Jensen knew she would be, and Jensen almost feels relieved about it. )

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Links: Part 1 | Part 2 | Chicagoland Music | Table of Contents

Last Stop: Chicagoland, Part 2

( He knows it's totally girly and cliché and, well, gay, but Jensen really, really loves yoga. )

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Links: Part 1 | Part 3 | Table of Contents

Last Stop: Chicagoland, Part 1
by phaballa

(  Jared has only cheated twice in the entire time they've been together and never since they had the girls. )

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Links: Part 2 | Part 3 | Table of Contents

Easy As Pie

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: pumpkin
Comments: This is for wendy, who asked for more Big Bang schmoop. And I think I'm allowed to say now that the artists have chosen--my BB is called Last Stop: Chicagoland, so we can consider this part of Chicagoland. But it takes place long before that story, and you don't need to know anything about it for the purposes of this.

( Jared officially and completely hates Thanksgiving. First off, because he's pretty sure it's a holiday based on the oppression and genocide of an indigenous people which is, you know, a seriously bad thing, but secondly, because he totally sucks at baking. )

By Appointment Only
(aka the Jensen the Happy Hooker Crossover AU of DOOM)

Fandoms: cw rps/popslash
Pairings: Jensen/JC, Jensen/Lance, Jensen/Jared, JC/Lance... they're HOOKERS, okay? They fuck a lot.
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: We wish this were true.
Comments: So, la_folle_allure asked me to write some J2 in which listening to JC's music makes Jensen instantly hard. And instead I wrote a Jensen-is-a-hooker AU. It made sense at the time. Many thanks to balefully and babyofthegroup for tromping through my run-on sentences and my new-found penchant for using commas in place of all other appropriate punctuation. All remain grammar retardedness is totally mine. They tried to fix me. To make me better, stronger, like a spaceship with an engine the size of a walnut! Yeah, look, I'm tired, I'm amusing myself, I'm using run-on sentences. Just read the fic.

Warnings: Hookers, recreational drug use, Chad Michael Murray.



( Jensen and Jared are hookers. JC is JC and Lance is Lance, except that everyone's having sex with Jensen. Well, not Chad. He's still too busy giving VDs to high school girls. )

And for wendy, I wrote some secret pre-Big Bang fic:

Dating on the Regular

Fandom: CW RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: Adult
Comments: Stealth pre-big bang fic. But it'll definitely make sense without knowing anything about my big bang.

( Jared's not gay, but he's maybe a little gay for Jensen. )